This is Us – 30 Years In

July 3, 2023 /

Ted and I are celebrating our 30th anniversary today. Sometimes I cannot believe it has been that long, but then I look in the mirror and realize that we are getting older, and I guess it makes sense.

We met in 1987 at San Francisco State University. He was a Film major, and I was an International Relations major, and we were taking one of the required classes, Speech 150. It was not love at first sight, he thought I was a spoiled rich girl, and I thought he was full of himself. As time went by that semester, we got to know each other a bit more. I met my father for the first time that semester, and the day I was going to meet him, I was very nervous. Ted complimented me, telling me that I looked nice that day. I said something like, “I’m meeting my dad today. I hope he likes me.” And Ted said, “Of course he will, he’s going to love you.” And that was the day that I noticed that he had great bone structure and eyelashes. I had been talking to him for awhile, but it was when he showed that he was a really nice guy that I started to pay more attention.

By the end of the semester, I started to worry that we would not see each other again, our majors were different and it was a very large college. So I went high school and wrote him a note, telling him I was interested. He called a few days later, and we started going out. We dated through college, and after graduation, we got engaged and moved in together. Our plan was to live together at least a year, but be married within two years. Well, life got in the way. We graduated into a recession and had trouble finding jobs, so we decided to go back to school. In the end, we were together for about 5 1/2 years before we got married, and lived together for almost 3 of those years.

Ted wanted to have a Hindu ceremony. We had been to one a few years before, for his Uncle, so I had a decent idea of what was involved, and it seemed perfect to me. He was open to two ceremonies, if I wanted the white dress, walk down the aisle tradition, but I really didn’t. So we decided to have the Hindu ceremony and a Western (vs Eastern, not Country Western) reception.

Our wedding was a HOT July day, and we married in Ted’s parents’ back yard. The reception was a long drive to Treasure Island, in the middle of San Francisco Bay, which at the time was a military base. We were sponsored by Ted’s step dad and my maid of honor. His dad was a veteran, and Rosemary was an active duty officer at the time, both in the Air Force. It was a wonderful reception, with lots of dancing and laughter.

The year after we were married, we moved to Philadelphia so Ted could attend the the University of Pennsylvania, where he got his PhD (he had changed his focus from Film to Political Science back at SF State, and was now getting his degree in American Civilization). I got a job at the University, and worked there for 2 years. That’s where Maya was born, and then we moved back to California, to be closer to family.

And now, here we are…30 years later. As the song goes, “Happy Together, Unhappy Together, Come Rain or Come Shine”. We’ve had good times and difficult times, and somehow coming through the difficult times makes the good times sweeter, and gives us a better understanding of each other and ourselves.

Tonight we will celebrate at an old favorite restaurant in San Francisco, Bix, which has a very cool jazz supper club vibe. Ted’s friends took him there for his bachelor party, and we had some lovely meals there over the years when we lived in San Francisco. I don’t think I’ve been there in over 20 years, perhaps not since we moved away from the City.

The traditional gift for 30 years is pearls, so I plan to have some oysters. I feel so very lucky to have spent these last many years together, and look forward to spending the rest of our lives together. There’s no one else I would want to do this with.

(I wrote this post yesterday, and Ted wrote his own post as well! He put together a slideshow, so you can see us throughout the years, and a few pictures with my natural hair color, because I didn’t dye it when I was pregnant or right away after having Maya…)

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