Visit with Grandma

October 15, 2008 /

(Grandma, 1941, 18 years old)

I went to Stockton on Sunday to see my Grandma and her sister, my Great-Aunt Flo.   I haven’t seen them since the service we had for my mom, in June.  They both seem a bit thinner, a bit sadder, but overall stronger and better than they did when my mom first died.  Still sad, still somewhat angry, but better.

Kate and I went up, hoping to take them to Grandma’s favorite place, Red Lobster. (I’m not a huge fan of the RL, but there isn’t a lot else in Stockton.)  But Grandma said, um, no, Kate’s work is precarious, Ted isn’t working, you cannot take us to lunch.  We’ll go dutch.  Ouch.  That was humbling, as I have enjoyed taking Grandma and Aunt Flo to lunch for the past several years, as they are on a limited income, and also sucked dry by a certain cousin of mine whose interests never get beyond her own personal wants and needs.  But they came of age during the depression, and they know what it means to not have a lot of money.  They know the benefits of not going into debt if you can avoid it.  Well, I’ve been working on not charging things lately, and to take them all to lunch would have meant charging it, so I agreed.  We would go dutch.  Then, they said they didn’t want to go to Red Lobster, they wanted to take us to another place.  The place was a sandwich shop, and the food was cheaper than Red Lobster, though I gotta say, not enough cheaper to make it worth going there instead of getting what they would have wanted.  And then when the bill came, they decided that not only were we going dutch, they were going to pay our way.  We had done a lot for my mom, and they wanted to thank us.  Um…ouch.  I don’t want to be thanked for taking care of my own mother, and I don’t want to take money from two old ladies on Social Security.  But they were insistent, and would not take no for an answer.   So we let them pay.

Know what, though?  Next time, I’m paying.  And we’re going where they want to go.  Even if it’s Red Lobster. (Stockton doesn’t really have a lot of good restaurants, especially when you consider that Grandma and Aunt Flo don’t enjoy a lot of ethnic restaurants, and some of the best places for lunch are closed on weekends…so if they want to go to Red Lobster…that’s where we’ll go.   Actually, that reminds me of another time I went to Stockton.  It was Aunt Flo’s birthday, and I wanted to take them somewhere nice for lunch.  So I picked a restaurant not too far from their house that I had heard was pretty good.  Aunt Flo wanted Quizno’s, as they had seen the commercials, and wanted to give it a try.  I did not want to take them to fast food, I wanted to take them somewhere with tablecloths and a wine list and appetizers, you know?  Well, this place sucked, and by the time we left, I was wishing I had taken them to Quizno’s, so they could at least have what they wanted, even if it weren’t fancy.  Ever since then, we go wherever they want to go.)

It makes me wonder, with the economy as it is, and as it seems like it will be for the foreseeable future, how many people will be scaling back on such little pleasures.  Heck, maybe next time I go to Stockton to visit Grandma, I’ll be bringing cold cuts and potato salad.  Sigh.

It was really nice to see them both, and I feel very fortunate to have them both in my life.  To still have them in my life, two women in their mid-80s who look out for us all.  We had a few tears, and more laughs, and shared a really nice day together.  Family rocks.

10 Comments

  • J

    October 16, 2008 at 7:03 am

    Jimmy, you can bet when we go to Red Lobster, cheese biscuits are consumed! Actually, we found a recipe online and made them once for Grandma, and she LOVED them.

    She was indeed a hottie. I think she still is, though of course for the over 80 crowd. 😉

  • Cherry

    October 16, 2008 at 9:49 am

    I’m still keeping my eye out for Applets and Cotlets!
    Sounds like you guys all had a great visit. I knew Kate really wanted to go out there with you, so I’m glad you guys were able to arrange a visit for everyone.

    I try to pay for my mom all the time, but then I remember that while she is 75, she is somehow still working (oh right, mortgage refinancing will do that). She wants to treat us, she says.

    Oh and I like Red Lobster’s Cheddar Bay Biscuits.. yum! Maybe I’ll make some for Thanksgiving.

  • Ted

    October 16, 2008 at 10:56 am

    NPR had a story on how people are starting to cancel cable TV — which was thought to be “recession proof.” Even movies – which were really popular during the Great Depression — are seeing a drop off in ticket sales. And from our experience at last week’s outing to the Cineplex, I believe it.

  • C

    October 16, 2008 at 2:49 pm

    Oh, your grandma was certainly a beauty! I’m sure she still is now! 🙂

    I was reading this post, thinking about how similar some of our family members act (Hubby’s side with not enjoying many ethnic restaurants and mine with the wanting to pay our way most of the time because I’m an ESL teacher/self-employed and Hubby is a farmer. To my family, that means we’re poor and they need to pay our way.*sigh*).

    In the end, family does rock 🙂 So happy that you had a good visit with yours.

    P.S. Thanks for the notes on my latest blog post and on FB. Truly made my day. Bed rest TOTALLY sucks. Can I tell you how depressing it is to be a couch potato and have my husband wait on me hand and foot? No, seriously…it really does suck!!! I’m going bonkers and the bed rest has only been in effect for half a day!! I’m sending Hubby to the post office to mail something off to you and Cherry, btw! XOXO

  • bitemycookie

    October 16, 2008 at 11:35 pm

    thanks for the heart warmer. i am sitting next to granny right now. i just read her what you wrote and told her that although i have the best granny in the universe, other people are pretty blessed out there too. clearly you are among them, jj. with love and hugs and a trip to red lobstah next time,
    xobmc

  • Rain

    October 17, 2008 at 11:15 am

    When my mom was alive, she liked those buffet places which I don’t think I have eaten in since but like you said, you go where they suggest. I think their wanting to take you out made them feel good and the main thing to them was your company.