The “F” Word

April 28, 2008 /

This is a rerun of a post that I originally posted on May 10, 2006.  It seemed a good post to rerun during this month of letters. 😉


Warning…this post contains SWEARING
I lived in Fairbanks, Alaska, from the age of 4 until I was 9. It was the early 70’s, and it was much more a frontier society than we have down in the lower 48. I haven’t been back since, so I can’t speak to the modern sensibilities, but I digress.

In Fairbanks, at that time, everyone swore. I mean, EVERYONE. At one point, we lived next door to a church, and it wasn’t unusual to hear people come out and say, “Jesus Christ, it’s 45 Mother-Fucking Degrees Below Zero out here!” Needless to say, my brother and I grew up with what is politely known as ‘potty mouths’. This was a problem when we moved to Stockton, CA, in 1975….people in CA simply did not swear with the same degree of abandon as Alaskans did…at least not the 10 year olds.

So, one day, a boy at school was pestering the heck out of my brother, and my brother said something akin to, “Leave me alone, Fucker”. The boy said, “Uuuummmmmm, YOU SAID THE ‘F’ WORD!!!”, to which my honestly confused brother replied, “What the Fuck’s the ‘F’ word?”

The principal soon found out about this, and had to make a call to my mother at her office.

Principal: “Mrs. Ward? This is Principal X at JFK Elementary. We have to talk.”
Mom: “What seems to be the problem, Principal X?”
Principal: “Well, today on the playground, Richard said the ‘F’ word.”
Mom, honestly confused: “What the Fuck’s the ‘F’ word?”

13 Comments

  • Linda Atkins

    April 28, 2008 at 12:33 pm

    I remember your mom telling the same anecdote. Funny then, funny now. (In fact, I’m not sure she included the part about your brother uttering the same immortal line.)

  • Jimmy

    April 28, 2008 at 2:10 pm

    Haha
    Reminds me of a T-shirt I have that i like to wear on Sundays when I go out to eat with the church crowds!!!!LOL!!! it reads……………

    When is the “F” word acceptable?

    There are 10 times in History where the “F” word has been considered acceptable for use:

    10. “What the F… do you mean we are sinking?”
    — Capt. E. J. Smith of RMS Titanic, 1912

    9. “What the F… was that?”
    — Mayor of Hiroshima, 1945

    8. “Where did all those F…ing Indians come from?”
    — Custer, 1877

    7. “Any F…ing idiot could understand that.”
    — Einstein, 1938

    6. “It does so F…ing look like her!”
    –Picasso, 1926

    5. “You want WHAT on the F…ing ceiling?”
    –Michelangelo, 1566

    4. “Where the F… are we?”
    –Amelia earhart, 1937

    3. “Scattered F…ing showers, my ass!”
    –Noah, 4314 BC

    2. “Aw c’mon. Who the F… is going to find out?”
    –Bill Clinton, 1999

    1. “Geez, I didn’t think they’d get this F…ing mad.”
    –Sadaam Hussein, 2003

  • Liz

    April 29, 2008 at 9:22 am

    lol, what a funny story! I too grew up with a potty mouth, in of all places, rural Bible Belt eastern NC! The one swear my parents didn’t say was the F word, so naturally it’s the one a gravitated toward. I just wonder which word my son, now 2, is going to start using when he’s ready to chart his own swear course and shock his mom.

    PS – thanks for visiting my blog!

  • Theresa Bakker

    April 30, 2008 at 6:30 pm

    I’m late, I’m late. For a very important date. Sorry it took me so long to read this. Sorry for myself, that is. I could have used this tear jerker. And I mean tear jerker in the “so funny there were tears rolling down my face” way. And so true.
    PS I love Jan Brett. I mean love in a borderline creepy kind of way, especially because I just googled HER and found out she’s a she. I had a picture of a hunky Swedish man artist/writer in my mind all this time. Sigh. Still love her, though.