Meme Monday – Convenience Food Edition
My mom was big on raising us to be self sufficient. I think it was her number one priority as a parent. Perhaps because she was 6 when her father died, and her family was thrown into chaos. My Grandma married my Grandfather just before graduating from High School, had my mom a year later, and my uncle 5 years after that. She was in no way prepared to support a family. She ended up losing her children (temporarily, thankfully), my mother to a convent, my uncle to a foster home. When she married my Grandpa, she got her children back. But my mom had learned a lesson, to make sure that we could all take care of ourselves, be independent, be self-sufficient. Not necessarily a bad lesson to have.
When I was in 5th grade, and Richard in 7th, my mom decided that we needed to learn to cook and shop for ourselves. In her, “All in” personality, she gave us a food allowance and let us shop for our own food. I don’t honestly remember what Richard bought, but for me, I bought a lot of pork chops, which I rarely cooked. They sat in the freezer, uneaten, while I cooked myself Kraft Macaroni and Cheese.
That didn’t work out so well, we were too young and ate a lot of crap. But we did learn a bit about budgeting, and at least we knew we COULD take care of ourselves, even if not well. And a few years later, she tried again. This time Richard and I each cooked dinner 2x a week, and my mom cooked the other 3 days. I remember learning to make roast chicken (quite the process, I remember MANY that were gross and bloody inside, and we did not have a microwave, they had to go back in the oven), and Richard made meatloaf (pretty good), waffles (dry) and stir fry (too much ginger). It took awhile, but we again learned that we could take care of ourselves.
We also had a lot of meal kit type things, like Hamburger Helper, which was usually some kind of pasta, a sauce, maybe a vegetable (often canned corn), and you added ground beef. Some of them were pretty good. I liked them. I think my mom made them sometimes, too. They were a blessing to a single working mom, making her life much easier.
I was reminded of this a few years ago, when Maya told me, “I’ve never had Hamburger Helper.” She wasn’t sorry, wasn’t boasting, just a comment. I thought about all of the things she has never had, that were a big part of my childhood. Some of them good, some bad. It’s just a different childhood. I’ve never been willing to eat something she cooked 2x a week, she doesn’t like to cook. So even now, I cook 5 times a week (Ted gets off work late Mon – Fri), and he cooks on weekends. We’ve tried to have her cook a day or two a week, but it generally doesn’t happen. We are stuck in our ways and it does not happen.
She will likely move out someday, if it is ever affordable to do so (not around here right now), and she will have to learn to feed herself. My mom would not like that we have not taught her better. I have failed my mom. Have I also failed Maya? Maybe. Time will tell. I do feel like all parents fail sometimes, we can’t get everything right.
8 Comments
nance
I don’t recall ever pointedly teaching Sam and Jared to cook. I do know that they spent a lot of time in the kitchen with me while I cooked because they liked to; that’s where we did a lot of chatting and hanging out. I would ask them to slice, chop, stir, season, and help like that, and they were happy to do so.
We did teach them how to operate the washing machine and dryer when they were about eight or so. They were in the minority among their friends in that they had actual jobs to do around the house and cleaned their own rooms. When their friends stayed for dinner, most were astonished at what was served–that it was all homemade and not pizza or tacos or spaghetti.
We had Hamburger Helper once in a while when I was younger at home. I think because it was new, and my mother wanted to try it. Same with Shake and Bake. They were a convenience. She probably made something else for my father on Hamburger Helper night, though.
Your mother was quite the Progressive. Did she ever ask you about all the pork chops and what you planned for them?
J
Oh, we used to have shake and bake too, esp the BBQ flavor. I really liked that one. I don’t know that my mom used it as much as we did.
I don’t remember my mom asking what I was going to do with my pork chops…the only way I knew how to cook them was to fry them, which I think she did see me do occasionally. I remember feeling very proud though, because the private school where my mom worked closed down and she was out of work, so money suddenly became very tight. We lived off of those pork chops for awhile, because for some reason even though I had them in the freezer already, I kept buying more with my grocery money. So when my mom lost her job, we had a lot of pork chops.
Martha
I never taught my children how to cook but they did help me in the kitchen often. All three are grown and on their own now and every single of of them loves to cook. I think like many other things it’s your example Maya will learn from. If you enjoy cooking, she probably will too once she’s out on her own.
J
Yes, she probably will, and if she doesn’t, she’ll find another way to feed herself, she’s smart like that. At least she can follow a basic recipe, so there’s that. At her age I couldn’t cook a whole lot of items.
Joared
I didn’t teach my children to cook unless they showed interest. They did have some for cookies and cake on occasion though my son had more interest than my daughter. His interest has continued and his lucky wife appreciates it she tells me. My daughter has developed her cooking skills so guess they’ve managed well. I never had to prepare meals growing up but did learn to make some cookies, a basic cake and Mom must have showed me some other things plus I absorbed some from watching her.
J
It makes me feel better to know that not everyone has their kids cooking full meals before they fly the nest…
nance
J–Also…the Hamburger Helper skeleton is hilarious! Some people are just genius, aren’t they?
Things like that are when the Internet is at its best.
J
Absolutely! The internet has so many negatives, it’s nice to enjoy the positives when we can!