Good News/Bad News

February 27, 2008 /

Good News:
The surgery went very well. Mom got 5 bypasses, her heart seems to be tolerating and enjoying them. She got two units of blood, which she is also tolerating well. Her labwork since the surgery all came back looking great. That’s a relief.

Bad News:
Mom’s lungs aren’t in great shape. The doctor said she might be able to come off of the ventilator tomorrow, which would be great. He also cautioned, however, that it’s entirely possible that she won’t be able to come off the ventilator (tube down her throat helping her to breathe) for several days, a week, even a month. And they’ll keep her unconscious until she is off the ventilator, so I don’t know how long before she’ll be awake again. I’m sure hoping for tomorrow. I want to see her awake before I leave for California, which is Friday. I hate the idea of leaving here here, alone and asleep. But I can’t stay, not knowing how much longer she’ll be asleep. We did talk about this beforehand, and she agrees. That helps, but not as much as you might think.

At one point during the surgery, someone came out to tell me the progress, and they said that her lungs didn’t look great. A bit later, I was talking to Richard on the phone, and he said, “I wonder if that could have anything to do with the heater in her apartment…” Crap. I had forgotten about that damn heater. A few years ago, she had a heater die in her apartment, slowly and without much noise or anything…it was quietly, slowly filling her apartment with soot. It happened so gradually that she didn’t realize anything was going on, until one day she looked up and realized her walls were gray. Great. So after the surgery (not before, when they might have wanted to know this information, but it didn’t occur to any of us that it could be important), I told the surgeon about the heater and the soot in her apartment. He said it’s impossible to know what damage that may have done, but it could have done the same damage as decades of smoking. Wonderful. So yeah, she’s doing well. But I’ve been crying, and I’m worried, and I wish I knew whether all of this worry was for nothing, or if this is just the beginning.

Blech. Sorry, I wish I had more good news. I want good news. I’m going to try to focus on the good news that I do have, which is that her heart is doing well, and her body is getting more good oxygen and blood than it has gotten in a long time, and that will help it to be strong and heal. That’s where I have to focus, I think.

(cross-posted at Maya’s Granny)

13 Comments

  • debra

    February 27, 2008 at 8:36 pm

    I’m so glad the surgery went well. I’ll be hoping for all the best for your mom and that you get to talk to her before you leave on Friday.

    Take care!

  • donna

    February 27, 2008 at 8:53 pm

    I had to go through similar circumstances with my mom, she was in and out of ICU and on and off the ventilator several times, and told me to “go home to my family”. I told her she WAS my family, too, and it was very hard to leave her.

    I will be thinking about your mom and hoping for the best for all of you. Take care…

  • Starshine

    February 27, 2008 at 9:05 pm

    I think you’re right, J. You have to focus on all of the good things. And the fact that her lungs and her body are getting the most clean air/oxygen they have in a long time is a very GOOD thing for her body. Hang in there!

    Lots of love,
    Tracy

  • CuriosityKiller

    February 27, 2008 at 9:59 pm

    She’ll be ok – it’ll be hard for you on how she’ll be initially from the surgery, but she’ll be ok. She’ll move to California with you and get lots of fresh air and mild temperatures (milder anyway than the harsh cold) and she’ll recover. Oh, I feel for you – I wish I can reach out through the internet and give you a hug, J. Hang in there.

  • Gina

    February 27, 2008 at 10:09 pm

    If there is anything I have learned about your mom, she is a fighter. And there is no way she is going to be laid out for a long time. Of course, she just had major, major surgery that thank God went well, but your mom has such an irrepressible spirit, I don’t think even this can keep her down for long.

    Thinking of all of you. I’m so sorry this is so hard on you, J. Hugs…

  • Linda Atkins

    February 28, 2008 at 7:47 am

    I am also glad the surgery went well! (Grrrr about the soot, but don’t get me started on that. I will cross my fingers for the best there.) I hope you get to talk to your mother before you leave tomorrow. Yay for a well-functioning heart and lots of oxygen!

  • Autumn's Mom

    February 28, 2008 at 8:11 am

    She’s definitely a fighter. I’m wishing you home into your families arms J. I hope that your mom is able to open her eyes and see you before…but she knows you were there and that you love her. It’s going to be ok 🙂 I can’t wait to see you and give you a big hug!

  • Kate

    February 28, 2008 at 9:30 am

    I’m so relieved at the good news & so worried at the bad news! I wish I could come up & take over for you, but of course I can’t get the time off & am not wealthy enough to be able to take LWOP. I’ll just keep repeating Autumn’s Mom’s mantra: It’s going to be OK, it’s going to be OK, it’s going to be OK.

    And I’ll call Jane now that I have some definite news.