Friday Randomness
I missed a week of randomness. I had things to say, but somehow couldn’t muster myself to come here and say them. So here goes, lots of drivel ahead.
June 15th was the anniversary of my mother’s death. Here she is in 1960, a picture for a calendar she made for my Grandma for a Christmas gift, where she dressed up in different costumes for each month. She was 18 and found herself to be hilarious. I find her hilarious too. These anniversaries are tough, and her loss is tied closely with the loss of my dad too. When she died in 2008, it was Father’s Day, so when I called him to tell him, he thought I was calling to wish him a Happy Father’s Day. Then, 9 years later, Father’s Day was the last time I spoke to my dad on the phone before he left for his vacation to the Dolomites in Italy, where he died. This coming Sunday (oh, not this coming Sunday, NEXT Sunday) will be the 9th anniversary of his death. It doesn’t seem possible that it has been that long already. UGH.
I saw Amy and David Sedaris on YouTube a couple of weeks ago, and they were talking about what it’s like to lose your parents, about how they are always with you in your thoughts, and how profoundly it changes you. It’s not just the grief, it’s the experience of having gone through that, which makes you part of this really shitty club that you didn’t want to join, and how only members can truly understand what it is like. I felt that so keenly. I was an early member of this club among my friends, and have had several people tell me they are sorry that they just didn’t get it at the time, when my mom died, but now they do. I don’t think one CAN get it until they’ve gone through it themselves. I also found the part where they talk about their sister really interesting, about how each child has a different relationship with their parents.
In happier news, look at the bright and beautiful dinner we had one night. Ted was in Los Angeles at the RUSH concert (he had a GREAT time and LOVED it, and is looking forward to seeing them again when they are here in October). I went to the farmers’ market and got ingredients, and made bruschetta, then topped some toasted baguette with goat cheese and nectarines. Delicious. Oddly, the nectarines that I bought at the grocery store were better than the ones from the farmers’ market. The ones from the FM went from hard to mushy and never really ripened properly. Anyway, it was a delicious meal, we shared this big plate and watched Disney movies (Enchanted, Little Mermaid, and The Lion King…though really Maya watched The Lion King, I went to bed early, since I had gotten up early to take Ted to the airport.)
This is Yosemite. There were 5 kittens at the rescue starting on Saturday, by the time I got there on Wednesday it was her and two little black kittens. I saw this picture on the FB group for volunteers, as she was being adopted. I love her little face peeking up over the top of her new bed!
These are the black kitties…I love the little white paws on the one in the front. They caught a tummy bug, perhaps from the grass someone put in with them, and went back to the office to see the vet and get better, so no kittens for me this week. I don’t remember their names, but goodness they’re cute.
I was stressed out there for a bit when so many of my books came in at once, especially since The Calamity Club was so long. I had to calm myself though, because I got through it in plenty of time. I breezed through The Things We Never Say, which is sort of the opposite of Calamity, since it’s only 7 hours, but I loved it so much I am going to listen to it again. Note Whistler, which was an ebook. I tried reading it on my iPad, using my Kindle app, and I hated it. I went looking for my physical Kindle, but then remembered that I got rid of it because I never used it and hated it. So I used my Bookclub.org gift card and ordered a physical copy of Whistler. I was surprised, given the cover, that I got about 1/3 of the way through the book with no horse. Now that I’m about 1/2 way through, there is finally a horse, and I’m enjoying it. Next up, my audiobook of Kin just came in. So many excellent books!
I made another frittata last week. The picture from my broccoli and feta is still the best, but this one was the best tasting, in my opinion. I used the broccoli recipe for ratios of egg to milk and so on, but I used kale and tomatoes instead of broccoli. SO GOOD. I don’t really like kale, but this was delicious. It’s really difficult to clean my cast iron pan, though, so next time I’m going to try it in my enameled cast iron instead.
Someone put this book, which was filthy (and not in a good way) and had been cut into, in the Little Free Library. WHY? I took it and threw it into our recycling bin.
I snooped around on Nicole’s blog and found her recipe for her favorite Greek salad. I made a big batch and enjoyed it all week. YUM.
Ted and I had a fun outing last Friday! We went to a local community theater and saw a play, Tiny Beautiful Things. A friend of Ted’s was performing, and it was really great. I am a fan of Cheryl Strayed, enjoyed the film version of her book Wild, and I used to love listening to Dear Sugars, her advice column podcast with Steve Almond. I read the book, Tiny Beautiful Things and I enjoyed it, but not as much as the podcast or play.
For Father’s Day, we went to see Disclosure Day, Steven Spielberg’s newest alien contact type film. I like going to the movies, and the popcorn was good. The movie? B-, maybe C+. It was OK, but it was too long (2.5 hours), and felt bloated. I think it would have been better if it were under 2 hours. I didn’t mind the ending, but Maya hated it, thought it showed a lack of creativity. Ted liked it, but didn’t love it. I thought the acting was really good, so there’s that. I talked to my stepmom yesterday and she hated the entire thing, but it’s not really her type of movie to begin with.
Guess where my sister and her husband are right now? If you guessed Paris, you are correct! They are having a great time despite the heat, seeing the sights, trying to stay cool. I haven’t spoken to her, just a few texts, but wow, this heat dome sure sucks. It’s an expensive struggle for sure. I wouldn’t want to be touring our town when it’s 104 outside.
I hope they have a/c at their Air BnB (now I can’t even remember whether they are staying in an Air BnB or a hotel…) They spent some time in England, and went to the Royal Ascot horse races! My sister in a fascinatior! I love it. They will also go to Munich and the Dolomites, to the village where our father died. I’m not sure I’m brave enough to do that, but she feels ready.
I’m hitting my vacation cap at work, so I’m taking next week off from work. Tuesday I’m getting my hair done, Wednesday I’m going to a museum with a friend, Friday is our 33rd (!!!) anniversary. Hopefully I will find some time to come visit your blogs, because I am woefully behind.
What’s up with you, buttercup?
38 Comments
Birchie
Your mom is hillarious! You should do a post of her calendar.
I’m so happy that you’re reading Whistler. Yeah, sorry to break it to you that it’s not about a horse, but there’s a reason why there is a horse on the cover.
Nom on the Greek salad, note to self that I should make some instead of drooling. Enjoy staycay!
J
I wish I had the rest of that calendar, I only have the one picture, which I found in my grandma’s albums. I only know the context because my mom told me about it once.
I’m LOVING Whistler and am wondering if I want to turn around and read it again once I finish it…
Nicole MacPherson
Oooh I have so much to say, where to start. I guess with the bruschetta? I love bruschetta and I would eat the hell out of that meal, I’ll tell you that much for free. Yum. I’m so glad you loved the Greek salad! It’s dinner tonight – my Friday treat! I have been making an enormous batch every Friday so I can eat it all weekend too. Normally I loathe leftovers, but leftover Greek salad is the gift that keeps on giving.
Hoo boy, that is HOT in Paris. We had a heat wave in London but it wasn’t THAT hot, like I think the hottest day was 30, which is plenty for London, but just felt nice to be touring around. Our hotel was modern and had AC so the only time it felt a bit uncomfortable was the Tube. But 104 is TOO HOT. I prefer to not travel in the summer because it’s so nice here.
Speaking of travel, I had paused all my library holds when I was away and then BAM, now that they are un-paused, so many have come in! I’ve worked my way through one and I have five sitting here, and now two are waiting for pickup and one is in transit. All physical books – but our library has a four-week checkout, so I can do it. I CAN DO IT!
I’m so sorry you lost your parents so young. That photo of your mom is great, she sounds like a hoot!
J
That bruschetta was really good, and I’m thinking of making some again very soon. I love summer produce!
Yeah, that heat wave is no joke. It gets that hot here all of the time, but we’re inside and we have a/c, so it’s not really an issue other than being expensive to run the damn thing.
Enjoy your plethora of books! I have faith in you!
AC
i was up so darn early that your frittata is most unfair since I don’t;t usually eat until close to noon. I may make an exception today, but fortunately, it won’t be a frittata. Maybe granola. I like that too.
J
That frittata was really good. I’m going to make it again for sure.
Anvilcloud
Of course, I meant unfortunately.
J
Maybe you should make one for dinner…that’s when we eat it. YUMMY.
Jenny
THOSE KITTENS!!! Yosemite with her little head peeking out…. so, so precious. And those other two…. I want to come and take them home right now. I love black cats! I hope they feel better soon. I’m sure they’ll be adopted quickly- everyone loves kittens. I’m a little worried that Yosemite is missing her siblings- maybe she’s going to a house that already has cats.
Yes. You really can’t understand what it’s like to lose a parent (or, both parents) until it happens. I guess that’s the only “good” thing about it. I can be properly empathetic when it happens to someone else.
Ugh- 104 in Paris sounds pretty awful. Glad your sister is having fun anyway!
J
Yosemite wasn’t in with the black kitties, so I hope she isn’t too lonely. I love her little face peeking over that huge bed! So darling.
Yes, the empathy of having gone through losing a parent is a silver lining, I guess. It’s one thing to imagine how something would/will feel. Another, much more complicated, to go through it yourself.
StephLove
I have only lost one parent, and the one I was less close to (my dad), but even that still touches me deeply. I dreamt about him last night. He’d bought a new house and was showing me around it. If he’d died recently, I’d say it was about him moving on, but he died in 2010.
I saw a cat like that (black with white paws) walking down our street the other day and I thought it’s a striking combination.
I have been having trouble menu planning since Beth’s out of town for a long stretch and it’s just me and Noah. He’s not that hard to please, it just feels less worth the effort with only two people eating the meal. So I’m planning two dinners and week and he’s doing one and the rest of the days we fend for ourselves, which is unusual for me. Luckily it’s summer so buying random produce from the FM seems to be a viable strategy.
J
Hmmm. Maybe your dad was moving on again? Like a new level of letting go? Dreams are interesting, right?
I love a sweet tuxedo kitty! There’s one in our neighborhood who spends a little time outside, and if you walk by her house (I don’t know why I assume it’s a she, but I do) while she’s out front, she comes running to say hello. She’s darling.
Summer produce makes fending for yourself much easier, right? In winter it would be chili or stew from the freezer I guess.
NGS
Your mom! Brilliant!
I want a KITTEN!! No, no I do not. YES, I DO! I have to stop looking at these pictures. (Goes to the local Humane Society page.)
J
Oh kittens, I cannot imagine how angry Zelda would be if you brought home a kitten. HA! They have SO MUCH energy. But yeah, they’re adorable.
Elisabeth
I am now so curious about all the other pictures in that calendar. The representative one you showed is hilarious and wow… she clearly had so much spunk.
Losing people you love is just a whole other level of hard and while I haven’t lost either of my parents yet, I am bracing myself (regularly) for the inevitable. Gah. I hate even thinking about the reality of what’s coming. Love is so complicated because it almost always involves a level of grief, too.
In happier news, the cat photos are adorable and your food always and forever looks AMAZING.
J
I wish I had all of the pictures from that calendar! That’s the only one I found.
Anticipatory grief is rough too, knowing that you will lose someone you love. My mom died so young, I did not even have it on my radar as a thing to worry about. She had some pretty serious health issues her last few years, but it didn’t occur to me that they could kill her. And my dad was a total shock, I thought we had at least 15-20 more years with him. I went through the anticipatory grief with my dogs, especially Mulder, and it felt SO UNFAIR. He was only 7 when he got sick.
Michelle G.
Guess what!!!! My husband and I are celebrating our 33rd anniversary this month, too! Happy anniversary to you two!
That photo of your mom is beyond fabulous. I’m sorry you lost her so young.
As always, I love all the random things! Kittens! Food! The hideous book donation that you so kindly took care of.
J
Happy Anniversary to you and your husband!
LOL on that hideous book. It was SO BAD.
Margaret
Love and loss seem to go together; perhaps we can’t truly love unless we allow ourselves vulnerability of caring intensely. I had lost two younger brothers and my husband before either one of my parents died. Although I mourned them deeply and miss them every day, they were 92 and not 16 or 25 or 59. Your mom’s calendar photo is so fun and personable; like another commenter mentioned, I would enjoy seeing the rest! I would love to read “Whistler” and hope we choose it for Book Club. Your frittata and Greek salad look incredible!
J
I think you will love Whistler!
UGH on losing your brothers and your husband. I suspect those are singular losses that one doesn’t really understand ahead of time either.
I wish I had more pictures from that calendar.
Diane
All your food looks so delicious! I love summer produce.
I very rarely go to the movie theatre because it is so expensive these days and I don’t want to spend money to see a movie and end up not liking it. But I usually end up being somewhat entertained when I do go – I think there’s something about seeing things on a screen that’s so big – and I treat myself to popcorn and a soda – so I guess I just need to embrace the fact that it’s an *experience*, you know? I do want to see the Sheep Detective movie, if that’s still playing by the time I have the time to go see a movie.
J
Diane, movies are stupidly expensive. Cinemark has a monthly subscription where you get one movie credit a month. I signed up back in 2019 because it gives you 20% off of concessions and I love my popcorn when I go to the movies. Then in 2020, we stopped going, clearly. I have all of these movie credits built up, because streaming is so much easier now. So it FEELS like going is free, because I use the credits. I can’t think on it too hard though, because the subscription price is higher than the matinee price, and we generally go to the matinee, so I’m losing money. Sigh. Anyway, we do enjoy going to the movies!
Suzanne
That photo of your mom is spectacular. What a character! This sounds like an especially rough month for you, and I’m sending you love.
My husband and I saw Disclosure Day, and I would also give it a B-. It was entertaining and I agree that the acting was excellent. For me, the whole thing felt like a build up to something that never happened. And I was really puzzled by the depiction of the alien beings. It felt very old-fashioned.
J
Thanks Suzanne. Yeah, this time of year is full of landmines for me. SIGH.
I wondered about the depiction of the aliens too, and I guess they decided to stick with that look because the idea was all of these old rumors were true, so they couldn’t pull in something totally different.
nance
That photo of your mom–what a treasure! Do you have the whole calendar shoot? Your mother was such a singular personality. What a life she led!
Ooooh, those kittens. Few things are as charming as kittens (and baby ducks!), and all three of those are so adorable. I can almost feel them from the photos. I have a special fondness for tuxedo type kittens: Sam had one a long time ago, named Madden, and that kitten was personality plus.
I’m so glad you tossed that awful book. What was that person thinking?! YUCK. I’ve become a LFL activist, too, inspired by YOU.
J
I wish I had that whole calender, but I only found the one photo.
LOL that you mention baby ducks. My mom took me with her on a business trip once to San Diego, and we went to the zoo. I loved seeing all of the animals, but there were ducks wandering around with their ducklings and those were what I was most excited about. (I was 19 or 20, not a kid) My mom laughed that we went all that way so I could gush about ducklings.
I’m glad to have been an inspiration to you in the LFL world. I want these books to have new homes, but that one was way beyond the pale. Maya gave me a tissue to hold it with, it was so filthy.
ernie
I’m in a similar boat – so behind on blogs. We hosted Maeve’s grad party yesterday and it was great. Exhausting and I’m kicking myself for making Cowboy Caviar and never taking it out of the fridge. Ugh.
I have not lost a parent – neither has Coach. We were just saying this morning that it is incredible that we have 4 college graduates who all still have all 4 of their grandparents. I cannot imagine losing a parent as early on in life as you did. My heart breaks for you. I am interested in what the Sedaris sibs had to say about their sister. TBH – I’ve only ever been aware of David. I didn’t know the sister was on a podcast or otherwise engaged in public speaking, etc. I do agree – each sibling has a different relationship with their parents.
Those kitties are so cute. Your meals look amazing. We will be eating leftovers for a good long time over here in ‘my mom overdoes the food for grad parties every time’ land.
J
Well, at least cowboy caviar is delicious, and you can have it as a side dish or a snack. I’ve done that before too, where I make something and then in the rush of the day it stays hidden. Humbug!
Amy Sedaris is hilarious, more of a comedic actress. I’m not sure what shows you watch, but if you google her you may find that she’s been in something you watch. She’s a character actor, so not the main character, but usually in an episode or two of something. I love her. I like David fine, but I love Amy. The story about their sister is horrific. They both say quite plainly, ‘our mother did not love our sister’. WOW. The sister had a lot of mental illness and ended up committing suicide. They all knew that was how she would die someday and felt helpless to stop her. Tragic.
ernie
Ugh. That is so awful. Incredibly tragic and sad. It is crazy how parents can mess with a child (understandably, but why can’t folks do better?). Also, I meant to say that I love the photo of your mom. She sounds like a hoot.
J
My mom was definitely a hoot!
PocoBrat
Love the photo of your mom, J! What a character, and what a beauty! I’m so glad you have this photo, because how could it not make you smile no matter what? <3
(Unfortunately it is so true what you say about not understanding… anticipatory grief, and sympathy never really approached the true depths of grief, at least in my case.)
Your food looks so delish, the kittens so cute, and your book haul so impressive! (Your library must have a lot of copies, I sometimes start out 187th on a waiting list and we'll have like 2 copies!)
J
Thank you Maya! My mom was definitely a character and a beauty!
Ugh, grief. Anticipatory grief is the WORST in my mind, because it robs you of the present. I mean, real grief, after you lose someone, is more painful, but at least it doesn’t intrude upon your time together.
Often I will start out 187th in line for a book and then jump up quite quickly, and you’re right, it’s because they have acquired a lot more copies.
Lisa's Yarns
June/July are a rough stretch of grief landmines for you. I am so sorry that you joined the club of having lost a parent so young. I luckily have both of my parents but lately my dad has been doing the math on how old he will be when my kids graduate from HS and opining on whether he thinks he will be around. I am like – no no no, let’s not speak of this! Phil’s dad died 13 years ago this coming August. He is not a talker so his grief is buried under many many layers. 🙁
You had a great string of books become available! I tend to suspend holds if too many come in at once as I don’t want to feel like I am reading on a deadline but sometimes something I am so excited about becomes available and I can’t bare to suspend it! I have yet to not finish a book before it’s due, though, so it usually works out. There is a lot of chatter about the cover of Whistler and how its misleads readers to think it’s a horse book, when the horse is just one aspect of the book.
J
Thanks Lisa. My dad and stepmom planned to take all 5 of their grandkids on a trip, anywhere in the US, for a HS graduation gift. Maya got her trip (New York City), but all of the rest were too young when my dad died. My stepmom has taken the others on wonderful trips for their graduations, but she often mentions how Maya was the only one to get the gift as it was planned, with both grandparents. I hope your dad is still around to see ALL of his grandkids graduate!
Regarding the books, I generally do the same thing, and suspend the hold, but for this group I couldn’t do it, and yeah, I finished them all in time so it wasn’t even a stress.
Stephany
OMG, your mom! I love that photo so much. What a great photo to have of her. 🙂
I’m sorry June is a hard month. I understand because it’s hard for me, too, with my dad’s birthday and Father’s Day. Blergh.
The kitties! One of them looks like my Eloise. I love a tuxedo kitty. 🙂
I haven’t heard many great things about Disclosure Day. It’s not my kind of movie so I wasn’t interested, but kinda crazy that it isn’t getting great reviews.
J
I also love a tuxedo kitty!
I doubt I would have gone to see Disclosure Day if Ted hadn’t wanted to, it’s not generally my thing either.
Anne
Your mom’s photo is hilarious. Did she keep that sense of humor as an (older) adult? I love when people who are willing to do goofy things, and she looks like someone who would have been happy to be goofy. (That makes no sense, but hopefully you can figure out what I’m trying to say…)
Who would put such a cruddy-looking book in a LFL? It’s not the trash, people. Sheesh.
I thought you were saying that the popcorn was good but left you bloated. A second read-through confirmed that the *movie* was bloated, not you. Whew.
Hope you are staying cool, my friend.
J
Oh yes, my mom was a ham and kept her wicked sense of humor always.