Friday Five
What to write about this Friday morning? Let’s see what I can come up with for a quick Friday Five.
- The picture above is from one of my morning walks. We live in an area that is divided between single family homes, townhouses, large apartment buildings, offices, 2 hotels, a couple of restaurants, mass transit, and a freeway. The picture is one of the office buildings. I applied for a job there way back in 2000, but their work life balance was way out of whack, and I wasn’t down for that. Maya was only 4 at the time, so 60 – 80 hour work weeks were not going to cut it. At least they were honest about it (unless it was actually worse, but it was one of those peer interviews that was popular at the time, so maybe it was realistic). Anyway, I took the picture on my walk the other day because I’m participating in Elisabeth’s ‘Cool Bloggers Walking Club’, and I love the early morning sky reflected in the windows of this building. Ideally I would have had a picture with a beautiful pink sunrise, but alas I fear that it is too late in the year for that, the sun is up too early. If I get out one morning in time, and there happens to be a beautiful sunrise, I’ll snap a pic. Today I’m going in search of wisteria, which is in bloom around here.
- Tomorrow would have been Mulder’s 9th birthday. We miss his funny face every day, and my walks are sad without him, and it’s lonely being home all day alone. I’m ready for another dog, though of course no one will ever replace our sweet boy. Ted is, however, enjoying the freedom of the pet free life. Entirely valid. Pets are expensive (we’ve almost paid off his chemo treatments), and a lot of worry sometimes, and when you want to travel or even go into the city all day, plans need to be made. Also the barf and barking and so on. I’ll admit that I like those freedoms as well. My sister and her husband are in a similar spot. She doesn’t want a dog, he really does. I suspect that once he retires, they will get one. With them gone all day, it doesn’t make sense right now. The thing is, there’s not a lot of room for compromise with pets. You either have them or you don’t. We can’t get a dog 3 days a week, or only while it’s young and healthy. Kind of like having a kid. So for now at least, we are still a pet free household.
- Our weather has been very Spring Like, if by Spring Like you mean it can’t decide what the hell it’s doing. It was 75 the other day, and then yesterday we got a cold front that brought rain (and snow to the top of our local mountain! Unheard of in April!). The heater came on this morning. Next week is supposed to be low 80s. Happily, my sinuses have not put me in hell with all of this whiplash weather, no headaches. Usually my head is a barometer, and I hate that.
- In related news, I am going to lunch with some coworkers from my last job today, and I am going to wear a sweater. Perhaps the final sweater wearing weather of the season, though I’ve said that at least twice before.
- Also in related news, California’s snowpack is just above normal this year, which means no drought for the second year in a row. This is wonderful news! California tends to really dry or really wet winters, so one that is almost exactly average is rare. We get all of our rain in the winter, and we depend almost entirely on snowpack melt to fill our reservoirs. It would be absolutely normal for us to not get any real rain again until October or November.
That’s all I can come up with around here. What’s new in your neck of the woods?
Update to insert 2 of today’s FB memories about the last years of our sweet girl Genevieve’s life. Genevieve was 11 at this point, and lived almost 2 more years. I miss having a dog, every day. I don’t miss this part of the equation, though.
22 Comments
Sarah
I feel like an absolutely monster to admit that I am also enjoying the dog-free life. We will get a new dog soon because the kids really want one, but it is lovely to live hair free and be able to use the back yard without worrying where we step.
J
Sarah, I don’t think you’re a monster for enjoying pet free life. I want another dog, and yet I am enjoying the up side of pet free life. The money we’re saving, the worry about him when we’re out, THE HAIR (we had to vacuum every day with Mulder). And he had a sensitive stomach, so barfing was not unusual around here, even before his lymphoma. I sometimes wondered if it was too much hair that he had swallowed, but he also had a habit of eating EVERYTHING he could get his mouth on. Maya once caught him with a thumb tack in his mouth. Licking the sidewalks on our walks. Eating acorns and grass. I don’t miss any of that. Just his sweet self, that’s what I miss.
Elisabeth
Those windows are stunning! So often we dwell in two conflicting places. We’re relieved and sad. We’re angry and happy. So I think it makes sense that there are a lot of different emotions surrounding life without a dog. Of course grief for Mulder – that loss will always remain – but also a lightness of the flexibility not having a dog brings. Whatever you do next in terms of welcoming – or not welcoming – a new pet, I’m sure it will be the right choice.
You make a blatantly obvious, but very much overlooked point: pets (and kids) are a full-time commitment. There aren’t days off and they both take a lot of mental logistics to keep everyone happy and safe and fed and content. I remember many years ago sitting with a group of mothers and when of them leaned into our little circle and said: No one told me it was 24/7 FOREVER.
J
Thanks Elisabeth, you are so right about pets being a full time commitment, much like having kids. I think some people go into it not really understanding that, and that is why so many animals end up at shelters. Of course, some are life circumstances changing. An owner dies or something horrible like that. But often they just don’t really understand how much work it is, how expensive it is, how inconvenient it is, all of that.
Most of the time that office building looks boring to me, but the trees in front are lovely in the fall with the autumn leaves, and in the spring they flower, and the windows are lovely first thing in the morning when they reflect the sky.
Lisa’s Yarns
The weather can’t decide what season it is here either. We aren’t out of sweater season but I really hope we are done with winter jackets, snow pants and boots! Fingers crossed we can pack them away after our Florida trip but you just never know in Minnesota!! We could get a big dumping of snow in April. But at least it melts fast. We had a mild winter but by April I am just ready for reliably nice weather. It was 60 yesterday which felt amazing. I walked to pick Paul up from his care program and he scooted home and it was just wonderful!!
We’ve never had a dog but I can see how they complicate matters and how you need to be in the right stage of life to have one. We are a cat family but our cat went to stay with my MIL during the pandemic and she is so happy there that she is now basically my MIL’s cat. We got our cat before we had kids and she is just not chill enough to handle kid energy/noise. For awhile, if you asked taco what sound a kitty makes he would make a growling noise. 😉 Someday we will get another cat but probably not for quite some time.
J
Lisa, you’re so right. It’s a stage of life thing. We waited until our daughter was 6 to get a dog, and we were very careful to get one that was pretty submissive and gentle. I don’t trust dogs around babies. Their instincts are not ours, and you never know when they might decide they need to carry a baby from point a to point b or something. Not that it is common, so many people have dogs and small children, with no issues. I just didn’t want to risk it. Also, of course, dogs are a serious committment, and when your hands are full with young kids, it’s not really the best fit.
I wish we could have a cat, they are so much easier. Ted is deathly allergic, though, so it’s a no go.
NGS
Honestly, I’m struggling to find photo ops on my daily walks, so it has 100% been the dog so far. She’s the reason I walk, so I guess it’s only fair. I will say that I think Hannah *may* be our one and only dog. Honestly, she’s all of my disposable money and time. Sometimes I think about the hours in the day that would be freed up without a dog and it’s shocking. But she is SO GOOD for me, too. I do get out and walk every day. She’s always so cheerful. She’s so much fun. I don’t know. I feel you on bullet point 2 is what I’m saying.
Spring is the worst season. I just complained about it on Sarah’s blog, but boy does it bite. From snow to sun to sleet in the course of 48 hours. Plus the mud. I’m ready to move on from this.
J
Spring in the midwest is a real challange, isn’t it? Not so bad here, unless we’re getting a lot of rain and then there are mudslides (not our part of California, but near the coast or in the mountains.)
Your words about Hannah are so true. They bring so much joy, and are such a committment. Sigh.
Kyria @ Travel Spot
Oh my gosh; you ended this post on an interesting note! All I can think of now is poop and puke. I had a dog when I was a kid, but (huge but here) my Dad trained him and he was such a good dog. My Dad disclipined him, and I assume that I may have fed him, but honestly I cannot remember. So in my kid mind, having a dog was FUN! However, I had to take him to the vet when he was older and sick and then help with putting him down (I was about 16 or 17 I think). I decided after that that I did not want a dog. Little did I know that that is not even the half of it. Now when I travel with my friend and her 2 year old dog, I get pretty annoyed at the dog pretty fast. It is not just the end of life, which obviously is not fun, but you have to train the dog, and pick up poop, and put up with their puking in the car and barking all the time and refusing to come when called. In addition, what you talked about, you have to groom the dog and find a place for it when you are not going to be home etc. No thanks! I guess my ideal dog would be trained, quiet, would not jump up or lick or bark, and would maybe only live with me two days a week. 🙂
J
LOL, I’m afraid Mulder was pretty annoying sometimes. As a matter of fact, we had an Official Criticize Your Dog Day back in 2018.
https://jellyjules.com/ocydd-criticize-that-dog/
Melissa Stebbins
Isn’t it amazing what you can see in your own neighbourhood when you look around? It is autumn here, and we are having our first cold day with lots of rain. I’m hoping it will clear up so I can take our dog for a walk. I know what you mean regarding dogs; my husband keeps talking about getting a puppy as well … I don’t think he’s really serious, but he may be. Dogs are certainly a lot, but they bring a lot of love so it is a hard decision.
J
Melissa, a puppy? I definitely want another dog, but a puppy? No thank you. I could maybe go as young as 6 months, but would prefer a dog in the 9 to 18 month age range. Maya really wants a puppy. She can have all of the puppies she wants when she is out on her own.
Grateful Kae
We’re in the boat where we never had a dog all these years and now just got one this past fall. I LOVE HIM. But wow, talk about a system shock. He absolutely has upended our life (though now getting much easier as he is 9 months old now; those little puppy days are just really intense!) The biggest thing I don’t like about having a dog so far is just feeling a sense of being “tied to home”. Fortunately the boys are old enough now to stay home alone etc and I work from home, so usually someone is home most of the time. But like this weekend we went away all evening for a family party and he had to stay home in his crate for quite a few hours. I felt guilty about it since he just looked kind of bored sitting in there (I have a camera). He slept a majority of the time but still. I also left to go home earlier than I maybe would have just so I could get home to the dog. I think if he were older and/or able to just roam the house when we’re gone, I would feel better. He LOVES to sit and look out our front window- I think he’d be happy to just lay and look out the window, nap, etc. Then we could just get someone to stop by and let him out if we needed to be gone for a while. But currently I don’t fully trust him out yet unattended, though he’s getting much better and may start trialing short periods soon. But a dog makes it very hard for us to say, all pile in the car and drive to another city for a whole day for my son’s soccer tournament, for example. Either need to get a dog sitter or board him or something for a full day away, whereas in the past we could go away for a 10-12 hour day anytime and never think twice.
J
I remember those early days when we first got Mulder! He was a teenaged dog, 7 months, when we got him. We had to crate him also. We did have a neighbor who would come check on him for us, and even bring him to her house sometimes to play with her little girls, which was really nice. But yeah, that ‘I’m going to be gone for more than a few hours…what to do about the dog’ thing is REAL. Sigh.
Ernie
Oh, sweet Mudler. He was too young. I grew up knowing I’d be a dog owner, but it turns out having 6 kids was enough to keep my busy. Coach is not a dog lover and I really cannot imagine having to manage a pet. Lad lived here for 2 years with his Irish Setter puppy and that was enough.
The flashback posts are funny. Yikes.
J
I can only imagine, 6 kids! Especially if your husband isn’t a dog person. You can enjoy other people’s dogs I guess.
Stephany
it’s always so hard to figure out the right time after losing a pet. I lost Dutch, my old dachshund, in February 2018 and the only reason I was ready for another pet 6 months later was because I decided to get a cat. I knew having a cat would be 1000x easier than having a dog, and it totally was. I still didn’t adopt my first cat until December 2018, and she came to me serendipitously. Otherwise, I probably would have waited a full year! It’s a hard decision to make because yes, sometimes life is a LOT easier pet-free. But life is a lot sweeter WITH them, too!
J
Cats are definitely much easier than dogs! Sigh. Dogs can be a lot of work, but you’re right, they’re so sweet and fun, it’s worth the work.
Margaret
When my cat dies, I won’t get another one, much as I love her. She is a worry when I go anywhere and can be destructive. I want new furniture, but not with her around. A friend who lost her dog a while back does pet sitting, thus getting her fix of dogs and making a little money on the side. She is retired though.
J
Interesting comments here, people with pets saying, ‘maybe not again’. That speaks to the level of comittment, doesn’t it? Committed to not having your house as nice as you would like, committed to finding care when you travel, committed to their care if they are injured or ill, or eventually when they age. It’s a lot.
Tobia | craftaliciousme
I love buildings with a glass facade as it gives such intereeting views and it is just fun to photograph. I bet with a pink sky its amazing.
J
Thanks Tobia, I’m going to have to remember to take a picture sometime when the sky is pink. Probably in the Autumn, now that it’s getting light so early, it’s rare for me to be out.