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Haunted
It’s just over 2 months now, since I lost my mom. Sometimes when I’m having a hard day, it helps me to remember that it really hasn’t been that long, and it’s normal for me to still be so heartbroken about this whole thing. I’m tired of her being dead. Tired of it. One thing I’ve noticed in this whole process of grief, is that I’m ok with most of it, or getting there at least, but what makes me the most upset, what brings tears to my eyes any time I think of it, and makes me want to choke (I think only those who have gone through serious…
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In Defense of Food
In Defense of Food: An Eater’s Manifesto is Michael Pollan’s follow up to The Omnivore’s Dilemma. His goal this time out is to answer the question of how to eat in an increasingly hostile landscape, one in which food is becoming more and more processed, and thus less and less healthy, all while nutritionists and food scientists try to make it more healthful. You don’t need to read the entire book to figure out the answer of how to eat. Look at the cover. It says, “Eat food. Not too much. Mostly plants.” The rest of the book goes on to describe why this is the best way to go,…
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Wordless Wednesday – Saturday Edition
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Mean People Suck
(graphic found here) My mom moved in the middle of her junior year of high school. She first lived in San Mateo, CA, and was best friends with Kate. Then she moved to Modesto, and was best friends with Jane, Robert, and my dad, Michael. Jane and Robert eventually went on to get married and have kids, and later divorced. Jane remarried and had children with her new husband, Tip. When we moved to Alaska back in ’69, my mom lost touch with both Jane and Kate, who never knew each other anyway. But on a visit to California several years ago, my mom, Kate, and Jane all got together,…
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Wordless Wednesday – Thursday Edition
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Wordless Wednesday
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Rib-Eye Steaks with Tomato Basil Relish
Sunday is farmers’ market day here in Walnut Creek, and if you know who to ask, and what to ask, and you ask nicely, in August and September, you can get a box of slightly over-ripe heirloom tomatoes for $4. And by over-ripe, I mean just ripe. Most of the tomatoes at the farmers’ market would do well to sit for a day or two, because they don’t want you to buy them, take them home, and have them be a soggy mess in a day or two. So, this Sunday found me at the farmers’ market, asking the right person, nicely, if she had 1/2 box of ‘sauce tomatoes’…
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The Abstinence Teacher
“I’ve made a few mistakes in my life,” Ruth began. “Some of them have involved sex, and at least a couple have been pretty big. “It would be all too easy to pick one of these errors and tell you what I should have done differently, and how much better my life would be if I’d been mature and responsible enough not to have made it. But I’m not sure I believe that. I think it would be more accurate to say that we are our mistakes, or at least they’re an essential part of our identities. When we disavow our mistakes, aren’t we also disavowing ourselves, saying that we…
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Ask
Why? This is a totally cruel question to ask, and I almost hate myself for it, but why? Why did my mom have to be the one to suffer and die? I don’t mean to wish this on anyone, but I have friends with parents who have been in hospitals for the last 15+ years, and relief might be a real blessing to them. Why couldn’t it be them, not my mom? My mom, who was looking forward to being healthy, to taking long walks, to going to the farmers’ market and enjoying fresh, wonderful produce. My mom, who still had so much to offer. Why? Why isn’t Ted getting…
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Quote of the Day
“Forgive others their transgressions. The simple fact is, if we want to reduce road rage, it has to stop somewhere. Our advice? Keep your hand off the horn, and keep your fingers in perfect alignment. Not convinced? Remember this: He could have a gun.” ~ Car Talk gurus, Click and Clack, via Jon Carroll Dedicated to Scarlett and Viaggiatore and their cardinal rules…
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Saturday 9
I found this little meme over at A Gentleman’s Domain, and it looked so summery, I had to give it a try. He found it at One Gal’s Musings, and it was invented by Crazy Sam at Saturday 9.   1. What is your favorite summer drink? Lemonaid, I guess. I don’t drink it often, but I’m much more likely to want it in the summer than in the winter. 2. What is the best summer sport to play? Swimming. Probably the only summer sport I enjoy, because I don’t enjoy getting hot and sticky. 3. What’s the best summer sport to watch? Equestrian. So pretty. I’m hoping to catch some of the Equestrian…
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08.08.08
(image found here, and no, this isn’t Dorothy’s wedding invite, though it is a beautiful invitation designed by Daniel Larsson) Today we go up to Nevada City to witness the coming together of two families in marriage. My dear friend Dorothy is marrying her beloved J, and their 5 children will become brothers and sisters, though it seems that they feel that way already. I was thinking about marriage, or more specifically, about weddings, yesterday. I love weddings. I almost always cry at weddings. (I say almost, because I didn’t cry at our wedding. But I think every other wedding I’ve ever been at, I’ve cried.) And while I say,…
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Quote of the Day
(image found here) “Atheism has its uses, but don’t let it get in your way.” ~Dad Context is an email conversation about missing my mom horribly, and what an ideal afterlife would be for her. Dad said she would: Be pain free Know all the answers, to EVERYTHING! Be able to walk, run, FLY Have no financial worries Have no food issues Be in Alaska, California, and someplace exotic, all at the same time Know that her children and darling Maya are OK Know that we all love her I added that in addition to knowing all of the answers, she would be able to share that wisdom with others.…
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Public Service Message
Yesterday’s mail included the new Ikea catalog, and started me thinking about the crap that shows up in our mailbox, and how there should be a ‘do not send’ registry for catalogs, like the ‘do not call’ registry for sales calls. Well, there isn’t one registry that you can blithely say, “Please don’t let anyone send any catalogs to me anymore”, and that’s that, but there is a service you can use, Catalog Choice, to opt out one by one. This seemed like a good time to do something like that, rather than waiting until November or December, when it will almost surely be too late, and my mailbox will…
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Some goodish news amongst the painful crap…
There’s been so much pain lately. Mostly the pain of missing my mom and realizing, yet again, that she’ll never give me a big ol’ hug. That hurts a lot. Then there’s the job search for Ted, where he finds some really promising leads, jobs that sound like a really good match, but they.just.don’t. call. Asshats. Then there’s the homeowners crap, which is almost enough to make me wish we lived in a little cabin out in Nebraska somewhere, rather than a condo/townhouse in the Bay Area, because the finances SUCK right now. Did I mention that Ted’s on the board, so he has to hear about it from everyone? …