Throwback Thursday
My BFF Rosemary sent me this picture a few weeks ago. Rosemary, her brother David, David’s girlfriend Stephani, and my brother Richard, we were all good friends. I am at David and Stephani’s wedding reception. I’m a bridesmaid, and that suntan tells you everything you need to know about why I go see a dermatologist every year now. My mom is smiling next to me, wearing purple, and Richard is a groomsman, and you can see him over my shoulder at the far right of the photo, with the beard. Richard was also very good friends with David and Stephani. David was the best man at Richard and Kathy’s wedding. I have no idea who the cute little girl up front is.
We all look impossibly young to me. I’m 20, Richard is 22, my mom is 44. I had a dream recently with my mom and Richard in it, and they were the age in this photo. I was my age now. Not really fair, but anyone that told you that dreams are fair is high on drugs.
There’s a young woman behind me, in a pink dress, next to Richard, Dawn. Dawn grew up across the street from Rosemary, and she and I became friends in college. Later this night, Rosemary, Dawn, and I took off and drove to Salt Lake City, where Rosemary was a college student. We stayed for a few hours of sleep at Rosemary’s apartment, and then Dawn and I set out on the long drive to the East Coast. We had no money for hotels/motels/restaurants. As I remember it, we ate sandwiches and gorp that she had packed, and drank Mountain Dew. We took turns sleeping. We talked and laughed and saw amazing stars and a lot of corn. A few days later we arrived in Langhorne, Pennsylvania, which is where Dawn was moving. I stayed for a day or two, and then flew home. I was taking statistics in summer school at our local community college, and that week gone was too much, I had to drop the class. It was a great week, though.
I’ve driven across the country twice now…once driving Dawn to PA, and then about 8 years later when Ted and I were newly married and moved from San Francisco to Philadelphia. Looking back, I wish that at least one of those times, we had gone more slowly and seen some of the country. It’s a trip you could take slowly, stopping and seeing cities and towns and National parks. Both times we had time constraints, and honestly, much of America seemed a little dangerous both times. Two young women traveling together didn’t seem very safe, nor did traveling as an interracial couple. Probably that is not fair and we would have been fine, but it’s how we felt at the time. Mostly I remember driving past corn fields, and eating sandwiches from Subway at rest stops. The second time that is…the first time we couldn’t afford to get food at rest stops. I’m glad to have done it, I guess…it gave me a very real idea of how large a country this is.
8 Comments
nance
Weren’t we so very young in so many ways?
Your cross-country trip with friends wasn’t about enjoying the countryside and seeing the USA. It was all about eating up asphalt so that you could take friends where they needed to be and enjoy each other’s company. You did that, so Mission Accomplished.
Thank goodness you all were safe. That safety never occurred to you is typical.
A group of girlfriends and I used to get together on the weekend and drink cheap wine and then go driving in my friend Marci’s Mustang convertible. We’d go right into downtown Cleveland and then into the neighborhoods. Can you imagine how stupid that was? For so many reasons.
(And your suntan–I used to lay out every summer, often using baby oil or even Crisco. With my olive skin, I got very dark. If I burned early on, it was my Base Tan.)
The old saying is that Youth Is Wasted On The Young. I wonder if that’s true. Many of us made the most of our Youth; it’s a wonder we made it to our later years with the dumb chances we took.
J
Nance, I guess if we made the most of our youth, then it wasn’t wasted, right? Dumb chances indeed. I took a lot of them, and I was pretty mild. And nothing truly bad ever happened to me.
You are right, of course, about the mission on my cross country trips. In reality, it never even occurred to me to stop and see anything the first time. The second time, with Ted, we wanted to spend a day in Chicago (I’ve still never been there), but there was a miscommunication with the moving company and we thought we had to haul ass that last stretch of road. Too bad because then we ended up sitting in our empty apartment for a day, waiting for them.
Oh the days of baby oil and base tans. Part of me wishes I had never done it. Wishes my skin didn’t have so many age spots and wrinkles, that I didn’t have to have Basel cell carcinomas removed every year or two…but there’s part of me that remembers how damn good it felt to lay there in the sunshine, hanging out with Rosemary in our bikinis, listening to music and looking at cute boys at the neighborhood pool. Those are good memories, and likely worth a little grief.
NGS
I think you looked quite regal in this photo – I get young Princess Diana vibes (although as I type this, she didn’t really get a chance to be anything other than young, did she?).
The United States is large, but I try to remember that most people in it are well-meaning. At least, I hope that’s the case. That probably wouldn’t assuage your legitimate safety concerns, but I hope you came away from those cross-country trips with some positives!
J
NGS, my family has also said I’m giving a Princess Diana vibe too. I think it’s the expression on my face and that I am looking sideways. I look at pictures of her and I am reminded that she never had a chance to get old.
Looking back, I do feel like we could have seen a bit more of the in-between, probably safely. Both trips cross country did have some positives.
Ally Bean
I like the photo very much. I’ve read your blog for so long now that I feel like I know the people in the photo without explanation. [That sounds more lurk-y than it’s meant to be.]
I’ve flown to lots of places but driving across the country would be like connect the dots. You were lucky to do so twice, even if you didn’t see everything. Maybe once the pandemic calms down and Z-D finally retires, we’ll try that. An idea
J
Ally, you would have a great time, especially if you made it a quest to take your time and find quirky things along the way. I have faith that you would find many. You could arrive in California and we could meet in person!
Martha
So young and so pretty. Of course being tan was very important to us back in those days. I’m glad you were able to make those trips. I know you made so many memories along the way. When I think back to some of the things (some really dangerous and stupid things) I did when I was young I’m amazed that I’m here to talk about it!
J
Awe Martha, thank you! Yes, being tan was a sign of being ‘healthy’. My skin did get a break when I moved to San Francisco, where the sun is often in hiding. I’ve never done the tanning thing since…but for a good 7 or 8 years, I LOVED it.