The Things We Never Say

The Things We Never Say ~ Elizabeth Strout

Loneliness does not come from having no people around you. Instead, it stems from being unable to communicate the things that seem important to you, or from holding certain views that others find inadmissible. ~ Carl Jung

This is the epigraph of Elizabeth Strout’s The Things We Never Say, and it perfectly encapsulates the novel.

Artie Dam is depressed. He is a middle-aged high school History teacher in Massachusetts with a love for sailing. His best friend, Flossie, has moved away to be closer to her daughter after the death of her husband, Reginald, whom she describes as an asshole whom she misses very much. The loss of Flossie is huge, because with her, Artie felt like he could be truly himself, in a way that he cannot at home. He is struggling to connect with his wife, Evie, and their adult son, Rob. Rob was involved in a car accident several years ago that has deeply changed the family dynamics. Artie struggles with deep loneliness and isolation, while struggling with existential questions of free will. He is considering suicide, but wants to be sure it appears to be an accident.

As with every Elizabeth Strout book I have read, this is a book of quiet desperation and a search for human connection and meaning. As secrets come to become known, the characters pivot toward and away from one another in ways that are touching, sad, and joyous in their own ways.

I loved this book, though the absolutely perfect ending is deeply sad. I listened to the audiobook, then immediately listened to it again. Highly recommended.

Tiny side note, I liked the tiny nod to one of Strout’s more popular characters/books Olive Kitterage, which is mentioned obliquely as a book a character loved about a grumpy woman in Maine. So many of her books take place in the same universe, and this mention lets us know that The Things We Never Say does not. These characters are not going to wind up visiting Crosby, Maine.