Yoga and Grief
I used to take yoga somewhat regularly, meaning a once-a-week practice. It kind of fell by the wayside a few years ago, and while I was too lazy to do anything about it, I missed it. When my mom went back into the hospital in May, I was so overwhelmed by the stress of her illness, it seemed like getting back into yoga would be a good way to help me deal with some of this stress. So I started up again, and it did help some.
The class I take is through our city’s recreation program, so classes are 9 or 10 weeks in length, and then a new session will begin. The spring session ended on June 12, and my mom died on June 15. My yoga instructor is from Hawaii, and between the spring and summer sessions, she went home to visit family. Then we were in Hawaii ourselves when classes started up again, so last night was my first day back in class. And yesterday, mom’s death certificate came in the mail. I felt ok about the certificate coming, I needed copies of it to take care of some insurance issues and so on. But then when class started, I knew I was in trouble. Just sitting there, at the very beginning of class, starting the breathing exercises, and my grief started bubbling up, and I started crying. It’s hard to do breathing exercises when you’re crying, because your nose gets all stuffed up, but I tried. I had to leave for a minute and mop up my face, and bring some kleenex back to class, but I came back. And I cried. I cried off and on all through class. And you know what? It was OK. It felt like all of this tight pain was being allowed to express itself, like I was wringing the pain out of my body. And after, I felt a tiny bit lighter.
I talked to my teacher about it after class, and she said that many people going through grief and mourning find yoga to be very therapeutic, and that it’s not uncommon to have people cry in class. Your whole body is deeply affected by the stress of your loss, and the practice of slowing down and mindfully breathing, combined with the concentration on the poses, can help your body to cope with the pain of grief.
This morning, I googled ‘yoga grief’, and I found an article in yoga journal that anyone trying to cope with a loss might do well to read.
My step mother is a yoga teacher, and she first came to yoga back in the ’60s, when trying to come to terms with the loss of her first husband, who was killed in Viet Nam. She has told me several times that yoga truly helped her to heal after his death. Has she forgotten him? Of course not. She still talks about him, and his loss still affects her. But she has recovered, and has been able to find joy and happiness in her life. And for her, yoga was instrumental in that recovery.
I’m not really sure where I’m going with this post, except to say that I know a few of my bloggy friends are grieving right now as well. Tracy for the loss of her dear father, and Laura for the loss of her beloved husband. Perhaps you might want to try a little yoga to help you through this difficult time.
9 Comments
Autumn's Mom
I think sharing your experience is a great help to others. Hope you guys have a nice weekend 🙂
Starshine
Thanks for sharing this, J. Interesting…Hubs and I went to a yoga class on Wednesday. I didn’t feel any grief bubbling up, but I always feel refreshed by the slowing down of the mind and body. And I love the general sense of well-being I feel after spending an hour doing yoga.
Sending you a big hug and wishing you a peaceful weekend.
Cherry
ok this may sound corny, but I have some books on tape tracks on my iPod for helping deal with stuff. One is called “Breathing to Beat the Blues” which sounds weird and you look weird doing it, but its really good stuff. And Yoga for emotional Flow, which is a flow of asanas which help release emotions (I know again sounds weird, but I find it helpful).
I am a full believer of yoga as emotional therapy. My body loves it and my mind reacts to it in various ways depending on what we’ve done that day. Some days I want to go hug the instructor after class. I have cried a number of times, and sometimes I can’t stop talking after class and want to jump around. And then other times I’m sad, and feel heavy and don’t want to interact with people. Its pretty amazing.
I hope you are finding ways for you to help you grieve and grow. I think its great that you are sharing your experience, which is again another form of therapy and can help others.
Linda Atkins
Your tears during yoga class sound like they were definitely a healing thing. It does sound like yoga can be a great thing to do when grieving (or not). (I always leave any yoga class feeling like I have really hurt myself, even classes for total beginners, but I have a stretching routine I do fairly often and I always feel good after I do that, and feel good in general when I’m doing it regularly.)
Barbara
Yoga is a wonderful body mind experience. It certainly sounds like you had a healing class. When I went through the loss of my Mum I took a couple of intense yoga workshops and then found my way to Reiki. Reiki was a huge help in my healing process. Sending you lots of positive energy.
Peace!
LauraH
When I first got sick, I found yoga to be wonderful for pain relief. I used to go to classes and now, because yes it does make me cry because of the slow down and increased awareness of self, I put my mat out at home. It has been almost as good for emotional pain relief as it has been for physical pain relief. This grieving is hard work…that you never realize… and my heart is with you every day. Thank you for thinking of me. Many hugs.
(un)relaxeddad
Funny how a range of themes in a number of the blogs I read (and on my own blog) seem to coalesce every now and then. I’m so sorry to hear about your mother but glad that you’ve found something to help you work with this. It never ceases to amaze me how much our bodies know about where we are and what we need (and how separate we hold ourselves from them except in situations of extremis).
Ted
I’m glad your yoga teacher let you know that crying during yoga after losing a loved one happens. A friend of mine was asking me how things were going with you, and I replied: “Some days are just fine, and others … well, not so good. Sadness comes in waves and you never know when another wave is going to hit.”
Jill
I just found last week that my job of 7-1/2 years has been terminated effective August 29. Aside from the fact that I had hoped to keep this job with its great benefits until I could retire, I am a 53-year-old web developer looking for a job in a recession. My “crash” was over the weekend, and I knew yoga would have helped, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. Losing a job isn’t like losing a beloved parent, but the fear is very real. It’s been horrifically hot here in NJ for the last few days, but I really have to get back to my practice.