Wave

Wave ~ Sonali Deraniyagala

A woman, her husband, their kids, her parents, her friend and her friend’s mom are vacationing in Sri Lanka, where she grew up, in late December, 2004. Looking from the hotel window, she can see that something is wrong with the ocean. At first she is curious, then she realizes that something is very wrong, and she and her husband grab the kids and start to run. They run past her parents’ hotel room without stopping to warn them, and they make it to a jeep, where they pile in and drive for safety. The tsunami wave overtakes their car and they are separated. She is pulled along in the wave until she manages to grab hold of a tree branch. She survives. Her family does not.

What follows is the shock and confusion of surviving this horrible tragedy, followed by the deep grief of losing her entire family. The survivor’s guilt, the suicidal thoughts, the inability to get out of bed and embrace life in any meaningful way. She is broken. Eventually, time provides the tonic that it usually does, and she starts to heal.

I don’t remember where I heard about this book, I just had it on my TBR list at the library, and chose to listen to it when I ran out of other books. I thought it was a novel, but no, it’s a memoir. The author went through all of this, and came out on the other side. Her therapist suggested that she write a book about her experience. She is a lovely and talented writer, her writing is quite lyrical, which is perhaps where my confusion came in and I thought it was a novel. Or perhaps I just thought that because I generally don’t enjoy memoirs. Who knows.

Just as I was finishing this book, I had some synchronicity. The yoga video from the October playlist that day was Yoga for Loneliness, and Adriene said something close to: “If you are particularly sad today, see if you can lean into it, and then return to the breath.” That same day, the morning DJ at KEXP (Motto – you are not alone), John Richards, spoke of his own grief. He said, speaking of pain, (not quoting, because I just wrote it down quickly) ‘you can’t hide from it’. This is the lesson that I guess I needed to hear this day, because Sonali from the book, Adriene from my yoga video, and John from the radio all said pretty much the same thing. Do not try to forget or hide from your pain and grief. It is in the remembering of those that we have lost that we honor their memories, and that we are able to heal and find light.

Highly recommended.