The Giving of the Gifts
Now that it’s officially ‘holiday season’, with Thanksgiving behind us, Hanukkah here, Christmas coming, and New Years not as far away as it seems, many folks start thinking of gift giving…of all of the shopping and gifting and so on that comes at this time of year. I’ve read two blog posts recently that, while speaking in very different ‘voices’, both said pretty much the same thing.
First, Quee, in for Beenzzz over at Stealthy Bean, has a cautionary tale of someone in search of the perfect gift.
Next, Quinn Cummings over at the QC Report comes up with the perfect description for about 95% of the stuff that gets passed back and forth this time of year: pre-crap.
So, somewhere in the middle, there has to be the answer…somewhere between stressing out like crazy because you don’t know what the hell the perfect gift is that will make your friends/family/coworker/teacher/hair stylist/postal carrier/etc. squeal with joy, and just deciding that everyone gets a towel this year, or a yodeling iguana, there has to be a happy medium. We do not need more crap. But we also do not need to stress ourselves out by searching for the perfect gift to make their eyes light up and bring them all of the joy that they thought they were missing in this world.
So, here’s my vow…I will carefully think about what gifts I give. I will attempt to not add to our overcrowded landfill, and I will attempt to not gift any pre-crap. However, if I inadvertantly DO gift you pre-crap, do not feel that you need to hang onto it forever because I might notice that it’s missing and be broken hearted. I’ll be fine. Pass it on to someone else, or throw it away, whichever is more appropriate. I will give thoughtful gifts within my price range to my family. I will not go into debt to show them how much I love them. I hope they know I love them already. I certainly would not want them to go into debt for me. I will give hearty wishes to my friends, and hope for the same from them. For teachers, I will donate (within my means) to a local child abuse prevention council, which is hopefully a more meaningful gift than a mug or a Starbucks gift card. For the coworker/hair stylist/postal carrier/etc., don’t get me anything, and I won’t get you anything, OK? Let’s not push this whole thing too far. We’re not friends. We’re not family. I’m not your employer. We’re friendly to each other, and I even like some of you, but I have no idea what you would want, and I can’t afford to buy it anyway. So, no bah humbug here. Not even the tinyist bit. I love Christmas, I love the whole season (except the crowds), but I don’t see any reason for people to get so hyper-consumery this time of year, and then regret not only the gifts they’ve given, but also, the gifts they receive.
Beyond that, let’s enjoy the season for what it’s worth. For those of you who are religious, celebrate the miracles associated with your faith. For the more secular, enjoy the spirit of giving to those in need, the opportunity to come together with family and friends, and all of the fun and cheesy movies on TV this time of year. There’s plenty more to enjoy without getting trapped in the mire that can be gift giving. OK?
p.s. OK, I wrote this post on Tuesday, and then when the mail came, there was a ‘gift’ from St. Joseph’s Indian School, the kind of gift that bugs the crap out of me, because as small as my charity gifts tend to be, I want the money to go to helping people, not to funding crappy gifts that get sent out in the mail in order to bring in more donations. Anyway, this gift made me laugh, and tested my resolve to not give gifts that people genuinely DO.NOT.WANT.  Because? The gift was a dream catcher bookmark, a dream catcher notepad, and address labels with dream catchers on them. My very first thought? I need to send these to Ms. Mamma! Because I like to waste my money on postage to someone for just a laugh, but then I thought, no, this goes against my mantra. So. No worries, I stopped myself. 🙂
13 Comments
Py Korry
This is a tough thing to do because so much of gift giving is packaging — and, alas, the packaging ends up in the landfills. But I’ll join you in thinking carefully about the gifts this year. 🙂
J
I agree, the packaging is insane…but that wasn’t my main point, really…(maybe I picked the wrong cartoon?) More, I was talking about joke gifts that someone goes, Oh, haha, a whoopie cushion, now what do I do with this? And throws it away. Or a singing fish. That kind of stuff. Stuff that goes from a funny joke to crap that clutters your house in about .05 seconds. 🙂
Maya's Granny
Whereas a calander will last all year.
Cherry
You already know how I feel about this topic and you know I am SINGING your mantra all the way into changing our families “traditions” around gift giving.
This year…. only giving to the kids.
ML
I like the idea of only giving gifts to kids.
Nance
You wrote: For teachers, I will donate (within my means) to a local charity that people who teach are stereotyped to believe is a good cause (a child abuse prevention council, which I hope that teachers feel is a good cause, but if they don’t, it’s not a lot of work to throw away the piece of paper they receive).
I’m sorry, I guess I don’t understand your meaning here. Were you being funny in that you’re going to donate money to a “stereotypical” cause and then if we teachers don’t like it, we can just toss the paper away since we’re “busy?” Yikes. I’m sensing a little issue with teachers, perhaps? As a high school teacher myself, I don’t expect gifts from my students, but am touched by even a kind Christmas card. Wow.
J
Nance, I blew it there. Sorry to cause offense. That is totally not what I meant. What I meant to say was that I because I assume that teachers generally support children’s causes, I give money to a children’s charity in their name for the holidays. I was being flippant in my treatment of it, by saying that if the teacher does not, in fact, support children’s causes, at least they’re not stuck with some mug or something they then have to find room for in their house. Clearly this came across wrong, as I have the utmost respect for teachers. My mother was a teacher for many years, my sister is a teacher, and I have donated MANY hours to helping the teachers at my daughter’s elementary school, usually over 150 hours a year. My husband, in fact, has his PhD and hopes to someday be able to teach full time at a University.
I went in and changed the wording in the post, so hopefully I will refrain from insulting any other teachers out there.
Mea Culpa. Truly.
Nance
Sorry if I overreacted. Thanks for clearing it up. Glad to hear that you haven’t had a bad experience with anyone in the profession, which can sometimes be the case.
I admit to a hot button when it comes to my profession; I will maintain until my dying breath that we are grossly undervalued, and I don’t just mean in the salary category.
I read the edited part of the post, and I understand the spirit more clearly now.
J
Nance, I’m glad you came back, and that it’s clearer now! Being the daughter of a woman who had to give up teaching because it didn’t pay well enough to put food on the table and pay the rent, I agree with you about teachers being undervalued. And also, not just the money. The sad truth is, if you all were valued as highly as you SHOULD be, money wouldn’t be an issue, because you would be better paid.
C
J, I think people should follow your lead. You are such a great role model for your daughter. As much as I detest the idea of having to exchange gifts with family members and friends and the fact that I try to practice Reducing-Reusing-Recycling, I do admit that I sometimes get caught up in the whole crazy holiday season thing. Our Christmas tree is sort of like that “Charlie Brown tree” (as my nieces have so lovingly dubbed it). It’s made of an old cedar bough and has faux spruce fabric branches hot glued to the bough. The ornaments I’ve made are from old lightbulbs. I’ve painted them and attached fabric to make snowmen and Santa Claus faces (I posted pics on my blog today).
The gifts I am giving this year are all homemade and mostly baked goods, jams, preserves, fudge, etc. I’m sure many people will be disappointed that I’m not into material, state of the art, everything has to be the newest and latest hip new gadget. Sorry folks, you’re getting cookies! LOL!
My one indulgence this year though is…I send out funny Christmas cards to friends and family. I am one to avoid the unnecessary wasting of paper, but Hubby and I had a funny Christmas photo of us (Hubby, the cats, our dog and me) that I just had to send out. I know I could have just done what I always do…e-mail it!
Anyway, great post! You are always such an inspiration.
Shelliza
A few years ago, I started a tradition of making cookies for 25 people I felt deserved them. Last year, I switched to pound cake because it was easier and inexpensive. Most of my relatives look forward to my baked goods and have often indicated that they would rather receiving that than another useless gift. I usually just buy for my parents, Cary and Connor.
Personally, I ‘d rather receive nothing than t open up something I don’t need or will just create clutter. Wish people would put more thought into gift giving.
lalunas
One year we went out & got a bunch of children clothes for the St Joseph Indian School, because of all the little gifts the sent. I purposely did not send money, cause sometimes the money goes to other stuff.
I like this time of year, cause there is so much need and charities that allows you to buy things people need and you know that those people will get the stuff. That way you are not feeding someone pocket with your money that was really meant for someone in need.
Glinda
Other than immediate family, we give gifts to the kids only.
Ha! We couldn’t afford it otherwise!