The Friend
The Friend ~ Sigrid Nunez
The unnamed protagonist of The Friend is a writer and professor in a tiny apartment in Manhattan, a self proclaimed cat person, who inherits a Great Dane, Apollo, when her mentor and close friend dies of suicide. She is buried in grief for her friend, she does not want a dog, her landlord does not allow dogs, and here she is with a dog that weighs (quite a bit) more than she does. What happens is predictable to any animal lover. She falls in love with Apollo.
“When you’re lying in bed full of night thoughts,” she thinks, “such as why did your friend have to die and how much longer will it be before you lose the roof over your head, having a huge warm body pressed along the length of your spine is an amazing comfort.”
This was a lovely book, an ode to the wonderful relationships between humans and dogs, a meditation on writing and writers, an exploration on friendship, suicide, and grief. Highly recommended.
It seemed appropriate to post this review today, on what should have been Mulder’s 10th birthday. Here’s a picture of him in January of 2017, with two of his toys, Ropey and Crabby. I kept buying him new Crabbies whenever he would rip the leg off of one of them. I don’t know whether he liked getting a new one, or if he felt like I was thwarting his attempts to kill Crabby. At this point he had been living with us for about 14 months, so this is probably his 2nd or 3rd Crabby. God I miss that boy.
Bonus content – Mulder’s Golden Birthday, April 6, 2021. He was turning 6, and we celebrated by giving him a cheeseburger and some carrots. It was a wonderful day. I tried to post this video back then, and it didn’t render, but you could see it via the link. So if it doesn’t render for you, just click the link.
20 Comments
Birchie
I came here to read your review and I stayed for Mulder’s birthday hambuger. I feel like Doggo would have gotten the burger and cheese first, then the bun, and wouldn’t have touched the carrots. She likes them, but I don’t think they would stand a chance if there was a burger on the plate. There is one way to find out. She loves to grab a treat and run away with it. She’s had a few toys that have lost limbs, and a few that we’ve repurchased. We’re on our third Raffy the Giraffe, and so far he’s lost one foot and has a hole in another. I stitch them up after she tears them, which works because she’s more interested in gettting the remaining feet than in tearing up my repairs.
Anyway, The Friend has been on my radar for a while, and the only thing that is stopping me from reading it is that I feel that there is only one way that a “this dog changed my life” book ends, and I’m not sure if I’m ready for that. But technically it is on my TBR and I will read it one day.
J
Birchie, you’re not wrong about the ending, but it’s very gentle and I survived it.
LOL about poor Raffy!
Tobia | craftaliciousme
Ah that crabby thing is so cute. He does look like he enjoed his toys.
Hope you are doing ok today.
J
Thanks Tobia!
Elisabeth
As soon as I saw the video and read today is Mulder’s Birthday, I immediately thought “cheeseburger and carrots”!!!
What a wonderful friend he was to you and the whole family and I’m sure you miss him ever so much. What a celebration of all the joy he brought to your life.
J
Thank you Elisabeth! Yes, he brought us so much joy, I am so thankful for the time we had with him.
Allison McCaskill
Oh, sweetest boy! Such a delicate, polite eater. I feel like many dogs would have wolfed down everything on the plate in twenty seconds. My condolences again, such an unfair loss.
J
Thank you Allison. I’m still pretty bitter about it all. Unfair is exactly right.
Nicole MacPherson
I love this book! I have read it twice, once in 2017 and once last year. They hit very differently both times I read them. It was Suzanne who had recommended it to me back in 2017 and then I wanted to revisit it, and I’m so glad I did.
J
I don’t remember if it was your blog where I saw it recommended, but thank you!
PocoBrat
Mulder was so well-loved and he certainly knew how to eat a cheeseburger delicately!
I loved watching this video; I don’t know if I can read the book… (I’ve heard Engie recommend it highly too.)
J
I was scared to read it, but it was lovely. Your mileage may vary.
Margaret
I have heard great things about this book. Mulder was such a beautiful dog!
J
He was so beautiful and such a great personality.
NGS
The Friend is SO GOOD. Did you see that it’s been made into a movie starring Bing the Great Dane? I already love Bing.
Mulder was such a good boy. Today Hannah was being naughty on her morning walk (she wanted to walk on grass where they had just sprayed *sigh* and I had her on a tight leash and she kept trying to pull) and I told her that Mulder would NEVER have behaved like that. I don’t think she cared much, to be honest. 🙂
J
LOLOL. Mulder would totally have done that, he would eat the big clumps of grass that are left behind after they mow, and then throw up. I sometimes wonder if some had pesticides on them and that caused his cancer, but of course I will never know. (To be clear, we stopped him from this behavior as much as possible. Sometimes he was just too quick.) Also, he pulled me into a fence once and really banged up my shoulder. Also, he tripped me and really hurt my knee just before my 2018 trip to France when he was going after a cat. That hurt SO MUCH I called him a Fucker, which he did not appreciate. Still, I miss that boy so much.
Also, YES, I think the movie is in theaters now. Not sure I’m up for that, but maybe streaming?
Ernie
I laughed at thwarting his attempts to kill crabbie. Such a cute video. I can’t believe he went after the meat at the very end.
I feel like everyone has liked this book.
J
I think he went with what he could get. Like if he had opposable thumbs, he would have ripped that sucker apart and eaten the meat and cheese first. Or maybe he would have held it up and eaten it like a human.
Suzanne
Oh, how I loved The Friend. It almost killed me, reading it, so I haven’t ventured back to it, but it was such a perfect perfect book.
Look at sweet Mulder, just trying to alter Crabbie to his exact specifications.
J
LOL, ‘alter to his exact specifications’ is awesome, I hadn’t thought about it that way.