My Grandma

October 23, 2006 /

Grandma007

I am a very fortunate person, in that I still have both of my Grandmothers. I don’t know a lot of 40 year olds who can say that, and I suspect that most of those that do, count themselves as lucky as well. My Grandma Wells is the one I told you about last month, she of the cole slaw and turning 90 and all. She is my father’s mother. The beautiful woman in this picture is my Grandma Ward, who is my mother’s mother. This picture was taken at the time of her marriage, when she was only 18 years old.

My Grandma Ward is much in my thoughts lately, because she fell and hurt herself last week. She tripped and fell in her house, breaking her wrist and splitting her head open enough that she has stitches and staples there now. I found this out on Thursday, and on Friday I went to see her for myself, to get the grisly images of her injuries out of my head. Mostly my imagination is much worse than reality, and seeing that someone is indeed OK can help me a lot.

Well, she is mostly OK, except for being in a lot of pain still from the fall. She has arthritis and scoliosis in her spine, and the fall has exacerbated that pain, making it difficult for her to sleep. Knowing this, I expected her to look like crap, like I would look if I hadn’t slept in 4 days. But of course, she is herself, and looked as pretty as ever. She seemed cheerful and alert. We had a nice visit, and she only started to droop toward the end of my 4 hours there.

My Grandma is indeed an amazing woman. She has been through a lot in her lifetime, and somehow always finds the strength of will to persevere. My mom says that my Grandma used to be a fairly carefree woman, daring and adventurous. She eloped at 18, flying up to Carson City in a small plane, in a storm. She wasn’t the type to let anything get in her way. So she married at 18, and almost a year later, my mother was born. They had a happy time of it, and if you look at my mom’s blog, you can find some nice stories about that time. A few years later, she had another baby, who was in and out of the hospital all of the time, always getting better and then worse again. He finally succumbed to his health problems at 6 months of age. My Grandmother’s heart was broken. But she had my mother and her husband, and so she was able to go on. A few years later, she had another child, my Uncle Forrest. When he was still quite young, my Grandfather, who worked in construction, stepped on a rusty nail. He was given a tetanus shot, but it was from a lot of expired vaccine, and so it didn’t keep him from dying from Lockjaw. Here was my poor Grandmother, without the love of her life, only 25 or 26 years old, and now a widow with two young children to care for.

She dealt with life the best she could, though she lost that carefee, daring side of herself. Losing her husband and her child in such quick succession took the wind from her sails. She got a job and worked. Without daycare, she had to put my mom in a convent and my uncle in a foster home. They stayed there until she remarried, and was finally able to bring them back home. A year after her second marriage, she had another baby, my Aunt Colleen.

My Grandma’s second husband, the one I grew up knowing as my Grandpa, died in 1988. My Aunt Colleen died in 1995, at the age of 43. Here is my Grandmother, 83 years old, and she’s already buried two husbands and two children. Life is sometimes indeed bitter, but my Grandma seldom is. She will say that it isn’t fair, that to bury your children is something that no parent should have to go through. But she doesn’t complain, and she has so much love for her two remaining children, her 6 grandchildren, and her 8 great-grandchildren. She still has so much energy and interest in the world. She cooks, cleans, and babysits when needed. I’m very thankful that she and her sister, my Great Aunt Flo, live together, and they can help each other when things are rough. I love to go visit them and talk about old family stories, about books we have both read and enjoyed, and about the most recent episode of Lost. My Grandma rocks, and I love her very much.

15 Comments

  • Beenzzz

    October 23, 2006 at 6:39 am

    J, your grandmother sounds like a very sweet and very strong woman. I’m so sorry she fell and hurt herself. 🙁 I’m glad that she is ok.

  • Tabitha

    October 23, 2006 at 6:40 am

    I just loved this post! That generation is so amazing & inspiring. The things that they endured & yet, somehow, always managed to find the sun. They quietly endured, they quietly suffered, but as you say perservered. I always felt a connection to those days past & love to hear those who lived it, tell of it.
    Oh, and anybody who watches Lost rocks. Especially Grandma’s. That RAAWWWKKKSSS!!

  • Gina

    October 23, 2006 at 8:57 am

    People who are able to pick themselves up with such strength and maintain their spirit never fail to impress me. I admire them greatly.

    Yes, glad to hear that although injured, she isn’t doing too poorly.

  • ally bean

    October 23, 2006 at 10:24 am

    I never knew my grandmothers. I think that you are lucky to know yours as an adult because they bring a certain balance and perspective to a person’s life.

    Glad to hear that she is doing okay after her injury.

  • Jessica

    October 23, 2006 at 2:15 pm

    First of all, I’m very jealous of you for having both your grandmas – that’s terrific. I have only one remaining grandparent, my grandfather, and he is the one I’ve been the least close to my entire life.

    Secondly, in another life (aka, marriage), my last name was Ward and someone VERY close to me (relative by blood) has the last name Wells (happy to e-mail you regarding this, didn’t want to post it here).

    Small world.

  • Tracy

    October 23, 2006 at 4:30 pm

    i love this post! how great that you have such a special relationship with her. if my sister and i one day find ourselves old and widowed, i hope we can live together again to keep each other company.

  • Penguin

    October 23, 2006 at 5:47 pm

    Lovely, lovely blog and lovely, lovely people! Your Grandparents were handsome people…I can see why you are so beautiful, too!

    Wonderful tribute to your Grandmothers. You are indeed so very lucky.

  • Ml

    October 24, 2006 at 5:31 am

    Your grandma sounds like a lovely lady! She’s been through so much and is such a strong person. Interesting how the people who have gone tough things in their life are usually the upbeat people who seem to go through life with the right attitude.