Mean People Suck

August 15, 2008 /

(graphic found here)

My mom moved in the middle of her junior year of high school. She first lived in San Mateo, CA, and was best friends with Kate. Then she moved to Modesto, and was best friends with Jane, Robert, and my dad, Michael. Jane and Robert eventually went on to get married and have kids, and later divorced. Jane remarried and had children with her new husband, Tip.

When we moved to Alaska back in ’69, my mom lost touch with both Jane and Kate, who never knew each other anyway. But on a visit to California several years ago, my mom, Kate, and Jane all got together, and Kate and Jane became fast friends. While mom was staying with Kate for that brief week and a half in April of this year, the week and a half that everything seemed like it might just be OK (please, let it be OK), Jane came down and spent the night with my mom, so Kate could go out and do family things, since mom wasn’t really up to being left alone yet.

A few years ago, Robert and Jane’s son died unexpectedly from an undiagnosed heart condition. I cannot imagine anything worse than losing a child.

I received an email from Kate the other day, saying that she read in the local paper about a car accident on Jane’s street. She called Jane, and found out that Jane’s son and husband had been in that accident, that Jane’s son was killed instantly, and her husband hospitalized. Kate asked me to let my dad know, see if Robert knew, that kind of thing.

I went online to see if I could find out more about the accident. The driver (the son) swerved suddenly from the road, and flipped and hit a tree. In that rural part of the country, I’m thinking a deer or something probably jumped in front of the car. No one in the truck were wearing seat belts. The online version of the newspaper accepts comments on news stories, and the comments that have been left thus far have been cruel. Saying that this is Darwinism, implying that people who don’t wear their seat belts deserve to die. Here’s an ugly taste:

“What is wrong with these people for not wearing seat belts.. When are people going to learn that wearing your seat belts could possible save your life. It could have possibly saved these people from being ejected and they could probably still be alive today.. Come on people… Buckle up…”

“It’s that good ol’ boy mentality- “The gummint can’t tell me what to do.” Sometimes Darwin has the last laugh.”

“Natural Selection at its best. I am thankful this was a one car collision. And that this time the driver got nailed. Usually they walk away and the passengers or others involved die. I would like to know the chances of survival had the been wearing belts. “

Copied and pasted, so typos and ignorant remarks are theirs, not mine. The third one is the worst, to me. Suggesting that the driver deserved to die somehow. Um, if you’re going to point blame for not wearing seat belts, it goes to everyone, not just the driver.

And the greater point, the point of humanity and kindess to those in anguish right now, is completely lost on these heathens. Whether seat belts would have saved Jane’s son’s life and prevented the serious injuries sustained by the other occupants of the car or not is something that will probably torture that family forever. I know I would wonder, and think about what could have perhaps been done differently. (I’ve spent enough time on this ugly road…don’t travel it if you can avoid it.  It doesn’t help.)  They certainly don’t need asshole strangers leaving comments on an article (which they may in fact come across sometime) talking about how they deserved to die. Don’t they have any hearts at all?

No one deserves to die. Least of all for such a small thing.

My heart goes out to Jane and her family right now. My middle finger goes straight up to those stupid commenters.

12 Comments

  • --Deb

    August 15, 2008 at 5:35 am

    Sometimes I’m just ashamed of being the same species as people like that. What makes people feel compelled to leave heartless comments like that on a tragic news story? I am so sorry… for the tragedy, but also for the people who somehow made such a nightmare even WORSE.

  • Rain

    August 15, 2008 at 9:30 am

    If you have ever gone to the comment section on newspaper stories in this country, you will find there are a lot of people who are like you mention above. It might explain why torture was okay with so many for so long. It makes you wonder who we are as a nation and worry about what that will mean in November.

  • Linda Atkins

    August 15, 2008 at 11:17 am

    I’m dreadfully sorry to hear about this. (The comments, alas, seem pretty par for the course; actually, they are polite compared to stuff I often see online.)

  • Cherry

    August 15, 2008 at 12:03 pm

    UGH!
    I’m sorry … I’m just sorry. Stupid people.

    Oh wait, are those people going to see my comment calling them stupid and then be upset? GOOD!

  • Suebob

    August 15, 2008 at 12:37 pm

    I worked at a newspaper and our comment section was full of the biggest bunch of troglodytes on the planet. It was like all these creepy little asshats with a computer and no job were sitting in their basements with the shag carpeting (and we don’t even HAVE basements in California, that’s how bad they are) and popping off with every kind of cruel, racist, sexist comment. ANY article that mentioned ANYONE with a Hispanic last name got “damned illegal immigrant” comments. They didn’t leave comments, they INFESTED the comments.

  • Jimmy

    August 15, 2008 at 2:47 pm

    Yeah…..I try to stay away from the newspaper comment sections too! Those commentors are of the lowest life forms!

    So sorry for your friend and her family.
    I hate to wear seatbelts too. I feel like if it’s my time to go……it’s just my time?
    It’s like some people want us to live in a bubble? Put us in a cage so we will be protected from ourselves?

  • Ted

    August 15, 2008 at 10:52 pm

    You know what they say about the Internet: no one can be happy. I guess you can add to that and say that when it comes to people leaving comments on news stories on the Internet, people have a tough time being compassionate or sympathetic when tragedies occur.

  • Nance

    August 16, 2008 at 7:17 am

    This is where Freedom of Speech and I have such a conflict. Naturally, you don’t want to infringe upon that hallowed ground, but why open comments on a story in which there is a fatality, especially if the story runs the names of the deceased? Why make it doubly painful for those who have suffered a loss? What possible insight will be gained in Comments? If the newspaper really wants to open a discussion on a related topic, i.e. Seatbelt Usage, then end the article with a carefully framed question opening a debate and perhaps that will lead the commenters to eschew more specific reference to the article/situation at hand. *Ideally*, of course. Sigh. In a perfect world, I know…