How to Use Your Apostrophe Correctly

March 18, 2008 /

(Photo found here.)

OK, time for another grammar lesson kids. I know, it probably bugs the crap out of you when I do these posts, but it’s not often, so suck it up. Here’s the gist of it:

I’m tired of seeing apostrophes used for plurals! Tired of it, I tell you! But I haven’t said much about it, except that I suspect that plurals don’t appreciate being used as possessives. It occurs to me that perhaps, some readers might make good use of more information. So, here goes. The correct uses of an apostrophe are:

1. To indicate the possessive form of a noun. For example, “Genevieve’s new bed is soft and lovely.” “The old man’s hat flew off in the wind.” “The woman’s blood was so tainted by prescription drugs, the assaulting vampire suffered for weeks.”

2. To indicate a contraction. A contraction is created by smooshing two words together, and letters are lost in the process. The apostrophe goes in where the missing letter(s) would have been. For example: “They’re going to be late for the movie if they don’t get off their ass and out the door.” “They are” is shortened to “They’re”, and “do not” is shortened to “don’t”. “I shan’t be able to attend your son’s Bar Mitzvah, I have other plans that afternoon.” “Shall not” is shortened to “shan’t”, and “son’s” is the possessive, meaning the Bar Mitzvah of your son.

3. To indicate the plural of lowercase letters. I suspect this is where the confusion comes from for many people, because it’s a strange rule, if it can even be called a rule. For example, you can say “There are 4 i’s in the word ‘Mississippi'”, or “Mind your p’s and q’s.” There really aren’t many other times when the apostrophe should be used to indicate the plural.

4. To indicate the contraction in a year. Remember to differentiate between the contraction and the plural. So you would say, “The 1960s were a time of great social change”, or you could say, “The ’60s were a time of great social change.” Do you see the difference?

And please, don’t use examples in real life as proof that it’s OK to misuse the poor apostrophe. (See above…) Unfortunately, the people who make signs are no smarter than anyone else, and they make the same mistakes that other people make. Thus, if they don’t learn the correct rules, you’ll see signs on the side of the road saying stupid things like, “All of our short’s are on sale!” WRONG.

OK, end of lesson. Did I miss anything?

UPDATED TO ADD: In the comments, Cherry had some more grammar questions.  I would happily cover these, but my friend Deb from Punctuality Rules has already done a lovely job with all of them.  Go check out her recap, and you’ll find all of the answers you could ever want.

16 Comments

  • --Deb

    March 18, 2008 at 6:55 am

    Apostrophes were one of the first “Mangled Monday” segments I wrote about because this sort of thing drives me nuts. It’s bad enough in an e-mail or a handwritten sign, but on a billboard? Written, presumably, by some type of advertising agency and not exactly cheap to put up? Sheesh. This is the sort of thing that just makes me sad….

  • josey

    March 18, 2008 at 7:41 am

    arrrrgggghhh!!! thank you SO MUCH. that’s one of my huge pet peeves. hehe. it seems like i see the most of these tragic errors during the growing season here when there’s a lot of roadside farmer’s (or farmers’? LOL) stands. “watermelon’s for sale–get your’s before their gone!” (note the misuse of “their” and “your’s” as well. LOL.) it drives me NUTTY!!

    so many times i’ve thought about stopping at fast food places or wherever i see bad grammar…OY!!!

    oh and thanks for the clarification about #3 and #4. i always wondered about those…and just didnt look it up…but now i know. YAY!

    p.s. i digress…online i rarely use correct capitalization and sometimes even create my own funky spellings and occasionally skip using apostrophes if i’m inna hurry. HOWEVER, i am a straight-A grammar student (most usually anyhoo)…i just had to mention that. hehe. 😉

  • Susan in Italy

    March 18, 2008 at 7:53 am

    Oh, J! You’ve probably heard of this but there’s a book out called “Eats, Shoots and Leaves” (excellent, no? With the comma, it describes the actions of a cold-blooded killer and without, the habits of a panda.) I believe the author’s last name is Truss. She gives about 50 pages of all the apostrophe rules with a good measure of ranting, to boot. That’s as far as I’ve gotten, so far. It’s not a bad read, although I can’t help thinking her righteous zeal wouldn’t be better spent Saving The Whales or something.

  • Cherry

    March 18, 2008 at 8:45 am

    You know I always appreciate your grammar lessons. Thanks to you I have caught many an ‘its’ when they should be ‘it’s’ or ‘it’s’ when they had better be ‘its’, because I can hear J’s roller her eyes if I get it wrong.

    Oh crap, now I’ve gone and used the apostrophe all over the dang place.

    Can you please give us a lesson in the use of double or single quotes, or when to italicize or underline? And a good comma lesson would be handy too or just general punctuation.

    Thanks Grammar Lady!

  • Anvilcloud

    March 18, 2008 at 8:52 am

    You asked if I was near Belleville. Relatively. I’m in Eastern Ontario as is Belleville, but I’m nearer Ottawa. We’re probably the best part of two hors from Belleville. We used to stop there form time to time when we lived on the other side of the province and drove to this area to visit.

  • Starshine

    March 18, 2008 at 8:54 am

    “The woman’s blood was so tainted by prescription drugs, the assaulting vampire suffered for weeks.”

    Classic. You really do heart Buffy, don’t you? 🙂

  • Nance

    March 18, 2008 at 1:49 pm

    Sigh. Thank you for joining the ranks of Those of Us Who Ceaselessly Defend The Proper Use of The Apostrophe (Which Does Not Simply Mean “Look Out! Here Comes An ‘S’!”).

    I have already blogged ad nauseum about this. On my sidebar is a wonderful website for Grammar Girl: Quick and Dirty Tips for Better Writing. She is a podcaster primarily, but puts transcripts up at her site. She does a wonderful job of explaining the most common egregious errors that make us all cringe.

  • Chrissy

    March 18, 2008 at 3:52 pm

    LOVE IT!!! J, this looks like a post I would write too! One of my biggest pet peeves is the improper use of apostrophes! 😉

    Great post! Now I must catch up on your other posts! Looks like I missed out on a lot while I was in the Dominican Republic!

  • Frank

    March 19, 2008 at 1:44 am

    Over the last decade, I’ve noticed a lot more grammar/syntax errors in hardcover novels than I remember seeing in the past. I’ve been wondering lately if they’ve gotten too cheap to hire proofreaders or copyeditors. Are they doing something like trusting Microsoft Word’s native checkers?

  • Paul

    March 19, 2008 at 4:32 am

    Why? I ask myself. Why do they exist? They add nothing to comprehension, the meaning is perfectly clear without them, they are just annoying, why have a rule? why not just do away with them, are we to be slaves to the grammarians (swat) silly pedantry? please, tell me, what earthly purpose do they serve when they dont assist in meaning? No more apostrophes i say, eradicate like mosquito’s, swat, mosquitos, ahh that’s better, oh no another one, swat, ahh thats better, see, add nothing to comprehension, meaning is perfectly clear without them, i could go on, but i wont,