Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow…
A few weeks ago, I found myself at a crossroads. One of the complicated (well, it doesn’t HAVE to be complicated) moments in a woman’s life…to cut my hair short, or not to cut my hair short? Way back as a young child, circa preschool, I LOVED long hair, but I wasn’t allowed to have it. Once I was old enough to care for it myself,  I was allowed to grow my hair long (not that much later, actually). Since then, it’s been a back and forth, a dance, long hair for a few years, short hair for a few years, grow it out, long hair for a few years, always with the comfortable knowledge that as a woman with thick hair, I could grow it or cut it as many times as I would like.
Until this time. For some reason, now that I’m in my early 40s, short hair seems so practical…so soccer mom….so…not sexy. Never mind that Ted is one of the few men who LIKES short hair on women, and though he’s pretty much fine no matter what I do, he’s happier when I chop it off. Never mind even that I like having short hair, that it seems more stylish and modern. Still – I don’t really want to be that 40 something woman with the sensible hair and the mom jeans. So, here I was, for the first time in my life, afraid that my haircut is somehow going to define me. That people will look at me and know…know who I am, the 41 year old mother who lives in the ‘burbs and drives a 21 year old Volvo with blown out speakers in the back. Lovely. Isn’t that pretty much who we all want to be? A boring suburban woman with sensible hair? (Never mind that this IS who I am…it’s not me inside..inside, I’m still in my early 20s, living in SF with very cool, trendy hair) So…I decided to stare that boring bitch in the face, and chop off my hair. If I want short hair, to hell with it, I’m not going to let my preconceptions and my grandmother’s warnings about long hair ‘aging’ women after a certain point bug the hell out of me. So, I chopped it off. And part of me loves it. But part of me thinks it’s time to buy a minivan and accept my fate.
And then, last night…last night, Maya came downstairs after her shower for a good night cuddle, and she told me, “D (her friend at school) said that with your hair long, you just look like a mom, but since you cut it short, you look 25.” Wow. I always liked that D kid. I mean, I KNOW I don’t look 25, but I’ll take what I can get.
21 Comments
Beenzzz
What a sweet compliment! I’m getting so tired of my hair, but I’m afraid to cut it. It’s almost to my lower back now!!!!
ally bean
I don’t think that it really matters if your hair is long or short. Whether it’s high maintainence or easy care. I think that when a style is right for you you’ll look and feel energized– which is what people will notice. The vibe, not the length or style.
Maya's Granny
I like your new haircut. Of course, I’m predisposed to like whatever you do, being your mom and all.
Gina
That child deserves a cupcake or something, don’t they? 😉
I felt the same way, and it seems we cut our hair at around the same time. I cut off about six inches and I think it looks much better. Hubba-hubba on the other hand, not so much. But everyone else thinks it looks better too, so it’s just him.
Shelliza
I recently saw a pic of you with short hair and it looks so much better, not that you didn’t look good before. Your face just looks brighter, seriously. You’re already getting the popular vote at school:)
I prefer my short hair and have also struggled with the “young vs. old image”. I first cut my extra limp, fine hair when I was 21 and have had it for close to 10 years now. Sure I’d love to have long hair like the rest of people my age, but I think short looks better on me. You’d be amazed though, how many men love short hair:) Besides the minivan, you’d have to join the Moms/Playdate Group cults to be more suburban. Stick to the short hair, you’re rocking it!
Autumn's Mom
Ok, Maya and her friend ROCK! I’m with you on letting your hair define you, you know I am. I like having sassy short hair. It’s easy breezy beautiful, covergirl!
MsMamma
Wooohooo! That kid is a Sweet Pea. You look great and it shows, sister. PERIOD. Long hair, short hair…it just doesn’t matter because you’re a beautiful person(in another life I was a SanFranciscan circa 1968). They are starting to make some might cool, tricked out vans, BTW.
Cherry
I admit, it took me a couple of minutes to get used to you back in a short do. I just kept staring at your hair. After that first day, I don’t even notice it, because it’s all J all the time. You shine through no matter what your hair is doing.
ML
I saw you yesterday 😉 and I really like your new do! It’s stylish, attractive and you look great.
joan
Funny, good for you. My hair is in layers above my shoulders. I’d love to have longer hair but it just gets heavy and doesn’t look good.
ann adams
I’m the older version with the jeans and short hair (no Volvo anymore but still a mini-van.
I know you said no need to respond to your kind words but it honestly helps to at least say thank you.
So, thank you.
Ann
Starshine
I like the idea of changing my look every once in a while. It’s fun! I don’t think age and hair length matters much. I’ve seen beautiful women of all ages and stages with both long and short hair. So…here’s to doing what you want! Express yourself, sister!
CuriosityKiller
I love long hair, but every now and then – I get sick of my hair and want something chic and stylish. So I chop it off. I’m certain you look super stylish and chic, and LIGHT!! Everything seems fresh and light with a fresh haircut.
The hard part is the upkeep. LOL
Geeky Tai-Tai
I had the shorter trendy hair in my mid-30’s up until the last three years (I’ll be 50 in August). Living with the humidity year-round here, it’s impossible to keep a hairstyle actually “styled”. The stylist I went to told me to let it grow out and he layered it for me. Now, my son has said, “Mom, you’re looking really hot now. Don’t cut your hair short again because then you’ll look like a regular mom!” Oh yeah, I also had the old Volvo, then a minivan (I hated that thing). Now, I don’t own any vehicles, we walk or take a cab. Good times 😀
Ginger
I’ve always worn mine long and curly. Even if I sometimes wonder about short hair I am too much of a coward to try it. I am 36 now and I fear the day I’ll be too old to wear it long.
Lalunas
Your new hair cut is great, refreshing, sassy, cute, stylish and you look fantastic.
V-Grrrl
I’m with Ally Bean, the right style has its own energy.
I’ve worn my hair long, short, and in between and liked to change it every so often. As I’ve gotten older, my face contours have changed and so has my hair. I doubt I’ll ever wear it long again, and I’m cool with that.
hellomelissa
photo?
photo?!
J
Hello Melissa,
The only picture I’ve managed to get so far that I don’t hate is on a post about a wedding shower I went to already, last week…I don’t hate my hair in others, but there’s always SOMETHING I don’t want to post…a double chin, too many wrinkles, SOMETHING. Sigh. Stupid vanity.
Jimmy
🙁 …..I have a minivan, and I don’t even have kids!
Jenny
Just Friday the kids were describing a somewhat crazy guy on the public bus. I thought if he were old like they were less likely to be in danger. Maybe they could out run him or fight him off easier if he tried coming after them. They kept talking about how they could outrun him because he was really old. I said how old, and Exavier says like probably 40 and then he said no, not that old but over 18. I said about how old, now realizing he isnt old at all. They said maybe 20 or 25. So what does that make me? I must be extremely old if 20 is really old.