Friday Randomness
This week’s randomness is pretty random. Silly, sad, poignant, all of the feelings and things.
Spotted at Total Wine in the check out aisle. Don’t worry, if Pinot is not your thing, they had a white and a rose as well.
Spotted on my morning walk. It’s not really watermelon season yet, but here we are. This is the same area where the woman with the cat on her shoulder was a few weeks ago.
The other day I was listening to my local NPR station, to a locally produced show, Forum. It’s a discussion and call in show, and this episode was about rivers as living beings. In the lead in, the host says that the author is exploring an idea: “That rivers are living beings who should be recognized as such in imagination and law,” and then the host said, “To do so he daylights our own rationalist assumptions…” And I couldn’t even. The topic was interesting enough, I love nature and clearly if we were kinder to Mother Earth and our surroundings, we would not be in the pickle where we currently find ourselves. But ‘daylights’ as a verb? Instead of ‘reveals’ or ‘explores’ or whatever? I looked it up, and maybe it’s grammatically OK? But it wasn’t OK with me.
A friend posted this poem on her Facebook page, and I just loved it. The aching longing of it. Sigh.
Speaking of aching longing, and grief, this memorial bench was recently installed in our neighborhood, at the site where a young man took a turn too fast late one morning a couple of years ago and died in a single vehicle collision with two steel poles.
Yesterday on my morning walk, I got close enough to see the plaque, and I was so sad to read two names there rather than the one I was expecting. It turns out that the young man who died was the younger brother of a boy who died 10 years earlier, a wrestler at Maya’s high school, at the age of 18, from brain bleeding. So this family has lost two young men far too soon. So heartbreaking.
In one of those twists that the universe gives us sometimes, while I was looking at the sad, lovely plaque, I was listening to this Ezra Klein podcast, about holding grief and joy inside of us at the same time. From his description:
”This is a bit of a strange episode. It’s an attempt to explore the difficulty of everything we’re supposed to feel in a day. We’re in a time when to open the news is to expose yourself to horrors — ones that are a world away, others that are growing ever closer, or perhaps have already made landfall in our lives. And then many of us look up from our screens into a normal spring day. What do you do with that?
But that’s not new or exceptional. It’s the human condition. It exists for all of us, and it always has: life intermingling with death, grief coexisting with joy. Kathryn Schulz’s memoir, “Lost & Found,” is all about this experience — the core of her book isn’t losing a parent or finding a life partner. It’s the “and” that connects them both. How do we hold all that we have to hold, all at once? How do we not feel overwhelmed, or emotionally numbed?”
I really liked what they said about duty and fun both being parts of happiness. I found the discussion so moving and interesting. You may enjoy it too.
What else…well, I’m off to San Diego on Sunday, then on my family cruise to Baja, California next Wednesday. That meant I had to buy a new swimsuit. I’ve needed a new swimsuit for years, and have pretty much ignored the issue. The other day I braved a local department store and tried on suits. I will tell you that it was not pleasant. Yes, I’ve been lifting weights 5 days a week since November, I walk at least 6 days a week, I do yoga every day. But you wouldn’t know it to look at me, because I haven’t lost any weight at all and cellulite is real and so is menopause belly. I wasted some time regretting my diet choices for the last 6 months (well, let’s just say for my entire life, not just the last 6 months) and kind of hating myself. That’s not a good mindset for a fun vacation, is it? NO. I found an acceptable bathing suit, for almost $130, which would work. I bought it and brought it home and thought if I could find something better I would return it. I reminded myself that NO ONE cares about how I look. My cousins won’t care, strangers won’t care, no one will care. I mean, I will still care, but I will try to not care so much. I can just enjoy myself and swim in the glorious ocean off of Cabo San Lucas.
Then a couple of days later I went to our local DSW to see if they had any waterproof flip flops I could take with me for poolside time, since all I have is my nice leather sandals and I didn’t want to ruin those. After buying these cute shoes, I went to Dick’s Sporting Goods next door, and I found a swimsuit that makes me feel much better about myself. Yeah, the cellulite and menopause belly are still there. I don’t look 20, or 30, or 40. I don’t even look 50. Things are sagging like they didn’t used to, and I really miss estrogen. BUT, I like this suit a lot more, and it’s half the price of the other one, so I bought it, and I am a lot happier. I’m looking forward to sitting in the hot tub with my cousins, sitting on a deck chair reading a book, seeing a tiny bit of Mexico, all of it.
It’s been a while since there was a cat for me to care for at our local rescue, and now it is kitten season! These two (one playing, one hiding under the shelf) are a bonded pair, clearly litter mates, named Jason and Momoa. They’re adorable but very shy and afraid. I saw them on Wednesday, and was hoping to bring Maya to see them today, but they were adopted Thursday afternoon. A happy ending!
Speaking of kittens and cats, look at this adorable postcard that Stephany sent me!
Speaking of blogger friends and postcards, look at this lovely postcard that Birchie sent me from Muir Woods. Muir Woods is glorious and I’m so glad that she was able to go there.
Lastly, if you think I’m above laughing about Trump and Musk’s squabbling over the last few days, you would be wrong. Utterly stupid, entirely predictable, who knows what fresh Hell might come from it, but in the moment it’s just awesome. I’m looking forward to seeing what John Oliver and John Stewart and so on have to say. Ted says it’s just a distraction from the stupid Bill, and Musk trying to save Tesla, and he’s probably right, but I want to enjoy the idiocracy for now. Also, wouldn’t it be fitting if this meant the end of big money in politics? (AS IF)
(oops…I just meant to hit schedule and I hit publish and then I put it back to schedule, so if you get this as an email on Thursday but it’s not on my blog until Friday, that is why.)
17 Comments
PocoBrat
Funny how things can make us feel better. I’m glad your second swimsuit makes you feel more like yourself and Put you more in a vacation frame of mind to enjoy all the things…
What an exciting trip it promises to be!!
And such cute kitties!
J
Those kittens were so cute, I was looking forward to bringing Maya to see them. I assume more opportunities will present themselves.
AC
I’ve lived long now and ‘daylighted’ is absolutely new to me.
I understand the body issues very well. After losing weight, I am pretty flabby and saggy. I possibly looked better before in a way. Or possibly not. It’s probably been a long time since I looked good at all. Enjoy your cruise.
J
I had dinner a few weeks ago with a friend who has recently lost a lot of weight, and yes, the sag is real. I think you look handsome in your photos, both before and after weight loss, so there’s that.
Ally Bean
Now I know a new term *daylighted* and for once the term makes sense. With you about enjoying Musk and The Donald get petty about each other. Who saw that coming? Agree it may lead to even worse things but for now I laugh. Loudly.
Enjoy your vacay. Not jealous at all.
J
LOL on Elon and Trump. What asshats.
nance
I am not legitimizing Daylight as a verb. I don’t care who uses it or where it appears. That’s ridiculous and completely unnecessary. I’ll treat it with the same high dudgeon that I have for the jargony Onboarding. (Imagine me sniffing with derision and rolling my eyes, maybe even curling my lip a little, like a snooty Elvis.)
The random watermelon on your walk is completely charming me, like a Magritte painting or some sort of ultraModern art installation. What is it saying? Is it a commentary on waste? On hunger? On the brokenness of America?
Swimsuit shopping is brutal, and the menopot is dastardly. I’m glad you found a cheaper and happier suit to pack for your cruise. You’ll have a lovely time, and as you said, no one will care. Do you have a nice coverup and hat?
J
SNOOTY ELVIS FOR THE WIN. Thank you for supporting my disgust of the use of the word ‘daylight’ as a verb.
I love your interpretations of the watermelon, they are perfect. I was just thinking about Magritte the other day (because his paintings were a Connections category).
I have a nice hat, and am debating whether I need a nice coverup or not. When we go snorkeling, I plan to wear a rash guard and board shorts, as protection from the sun, so I likely won’t need one. But at the pool it might be nice…I have a couple of days in San Diego, so maybe my cousin and I will buy one. But they had a nice one for 50% off at Dicks, so maybe I’ll just go back there…
Suzanne
Your description of the body image stuff hits the nail right on the head for me. Excuse me, DAYLIGHTS my own feelings. No. I am not a prescriptivist, and I love the evolution of language and words, but NO. Why do we need “daylights” when “spotlights” is right there???? And much more apt, too, I think???? Anyway, I’m glad you found a good swimsuit. It’s so hard. It’s also so hard to keep the “no one cares what I look like” thing in mind, even though it’s true.
Your cruise sounds awesome and I hope you have a wonderful time!
J
Thank you Suzanne, for supporting me on both body image and language. I’m all for new words or a changing language, but ‘daylights’ is just wrong.
Rebecca Jo
Glad the kittens got adopted – hope they have happy homes.
That bench. Anytime I see any sort of memorial a family puts up – it just breaks my heart. Losing TWO members? I just cant fathom.
J
I know, it made me so sad to realize the connection between these two young men. So sad.
Margaret
I think Ted is right and that there are other unseen forces at work trying to manipulate us. I’m not a swimsuit fan either. I would really like to lose 20-30 pounds; I don’t know how I put it on except that it mostly happened after I quit running. 🙁 That may have boosted my metabolism but it sure wasn’t good for my knees. DAYLIGHTS? No, absolutely not!
Have a wonderful and relaxing trip!
J
Yeah, running is hard on the joints for sure. But great for burning calories!
ernie
Such a cute postcard. Blog frineds are lovely, and meeting them in person is so fun. Glad you guys got to do that. I read Birchie’s account and I fear that I missed your post on it, and I will back things up at some point. The broken open watermellon – huh? Such a sad thing for a family to lose two sons at two different times. Some families have so much to endure. It breaks my heart. On a lighter note- hooray for a cheaper and more satisfying bathing suit find. I have second hand excitment for your cruise.
J
I miss so many blog posts from my blog friends, don’t worry about catching up!
The watermelon was weird, but also yay, blog fodder!
Allison McCaskill
The grief thing is on point for me today particularly, since it is the fifth year anniversary of my mother-in-law’s death from lung cancer at an absurdly young age. I miss her terribly and still sort of forget that she’s not here anymore.
I love the description of the bathing suit – the best clothes obviously don’t make us any thinner or younger, they just make us feel fine about exactly what we are.
“Daylighted” reminds me of ‘well wishes’. Everyone seems to find “thank-you for the well wishes” acceptable, but it’s WRONG. You can ‘wish someone well’, and you can thank people ‘for the good wishes’, but NOT the well wishes unless they literally came from a wishing well. I will die on this hill!