Friday Randomness
I’ve taken the week off from work, to correspond with Maya’s Spring Break. One thing that we did with our time was to go to the Legion of Honor in SF, to see the current exhibit of Impressionist Art. I do love impressionism, and Maya has to see one exhibit a semester for her art class. So we went, and we saw beautiful art. We got through the exhibit fairly quickly, and decided to skip the rest of the museum, as we’ve seen it several times, most recently in November. One nice thing about the Legion of Honor is that if you pay your admission there, you also get same day admission at the De Young Museum in Golden Gate Park. As this was a Wednesday, parking was manageable, and the museum wasn’t crowded. We saw a couple of exhibits there, and had an over priced lunch.
Then we went to look at USF, one of the schools Maya has been accepted to. (Side note, that while I did not attend USF, my first 3 years in SF were spent about 2 blocks from the campus. It’s beautiful. It’s a Catholic University, and that beautiful church was almost enough to change me from atheist to Catholic. God got in the way.) We started out at their financial aid office, where the news was depressing. It’s looking more and more like Maya will be attending our local Community college. Really, it’s a smart idea. First 2 years, general ed, very affordable. But it’s not at all what she wants,and she’s worked so very hard in HS, so of course we wish that she could go to a 4 year right away. At this point, it’s looking less and less likely. Frustrating, and we do wish we had done better for her, earlier, to perhaps save more by now. I’m not sure how we could have, given the jobs we’ve had, but I do wish it had worked out. We were disheartened by this news, and skipped the rest of the tour and came home.
This American Life this week had a story about a boy who said he wanted to be spanked, rather than the alternative punishments doled out by his parents. Rather than being spanked, which would get it over with, he had to pull weeds. My story is very different than his, my reasons vary greatly from his, but as a girl who was raised without spanking, I’ll confess that there were times when I wished I could just be spanked and get it over with. If I broke something, I often had to pay to replace it. Since my tiny allowance would not pay for such things, I would have to do chores for many days. Ugh. JUST SPANK ME! Of course, never having been spanked,or worse let, beaten, it was clearly a case of “The Grass is Always Greener on the Other Side of the Fence”, right? Someone getting hit with a wooden spoon or a hairbrush may not have agreed with me. And though I may have occasionally wished to just get spanked and move on, I did not take that mentality into parenthood, and prefered to make my child suffer through time outs, replacing items if required, that kind of thing. We’ve both turned out well.
Ted and I went to the movies on Tuesday. We saw The Grand Budapest Hotel, which was a lot of fun. Just a silly movie, but well done and sometimes gorgeous. I recommend it. We haven’t been to a movie in the theater in awhile, but this one was worth the trip and money.
One thing I like about having time off from work is sleeping in. I don’t sleep like I did in my 20s, and on an everyday basis I don’t have to get showered and fed and out the door in order to get to an office on time, but still, not having to think about being online by 8:00 has been nice. That’s one reason I like to take time off when Maya is out of school. Of course, I enjoy having some time with her. But I also enjoy the feeling of sleeping until I wake up, rather than until her alarm goes off.
Now that Maya’s 18, the rules change a bit around here. I mean, she still has her chores, she still gets an allowance, she still has to follow our household rules of common courtesy and so on. But at the same time, things that were once forbidden are now Her Business. Such as, getting a piercing or a tattoo. Oh please god, not a tattoo. She has wanted a nose piercing for about 5 years now, and I have said no. I am not fond of them, no matter how cultural they may be to her Indian half. But now she’s 18, and if she wants to spend her money to get a piercing, I cannot control that, so I will not try. Well, guess what. (I’ll bet you’ve guessed already) She got her nose pierced the other day. It’s a very delicate, tiny little nose ring. Very tasteful, if such a thing can be said about something that I find distasteful. I find myself understanding my mother more, when she did not like a haircut I came home with (shaved on the sides) or my double ear piercing. She tried to be supportive, and yet still would not lie and say she liked it. So that’s me. It’s her nose, and I will respect that. It does her no physical or mental harm to have it pierced. But still, I think I liked her little nose better the other way. I kissed it goodbye before she went to the piercing/tattoo parlor. And thankfully, she did not come home with any tattoos.
Back in February, my blog friend Nance came for a visit. She has a good friend in SF, who is younger and enjoys shocking her a bit. So I went to visit her in the City, and he planned our evening tour, which turned out to be a porn studio housed in an historic building, The Armory. It wasn’t exactly my cup of tea, but it was still interesting. Anyway, I thought of Nance and Mike when I saw this article in yesterday’s paper. Looks like the safety regulations around porn are getting more serious, making it likely that Kink.com will be moving out of state. So what to do with the building? Perhaps office space. It is a cool building.
So now there are three days left of my little vacation from work. I’m not at all sure what I’m going to do with my time. Sleep in. Go for another swim (went earlier this week). I’m not sure what else. Today, Maya is going for a birthday lunch and shopping with her Grandma (Ted’s mom), and Ted has to work. I have a library book lying around that I’m not sure what to do about. It’s due today, and I’m only 1/2 way through. I like it, but I don’t love it. We’ll see what happens. I may give it a try and then decide whether I’m ready to pay fines or not.
So that’s what’s new around here. I hope you’re well.
13 Comments
AC
I saw a name that I recognized on Gina’s post, so I clicked to say hello. Sorry about the school thing, but I am sure that she will get well educated.
J
Thanks for stopping by, AC! Long time no see. 🙂
simon
Wow, you’re really opening yourself up to a lot of jokes about wanting to get spanked now, aren’t you? 😉
J
How did I not even think of that?
Nance
We were never spanked, either, and unlike you, I never wished for it. I was always horrified by other kids’ tales of “the belt” or “the switch” or “getting a whoopin’.” The idea that anyone’s parent would hit them made me sick, literally. I even knew of some kids whose parents made them go and get the belt, the paddle, or cut their own switch themselves. I find that reprehensible.
I’m glad Maya didn’t get a tattoo, but I wonder if she ultimately will. My boys and “my daughter” all have them, and I have found that one is never enough. Like you, I dislike the idea of that wonderful pristine body that I gave life to becoming marred in any way at all. But Jared, Sam, and Kaitlin all have tattoos, pierced ears, and Kait has a teensy little sparkly diamond chip in her pierced nose.
At least I did not react as my father did when I got my ears pierced at age 18; he dubbed it “a tragedy.”
It is too bad how much college costs have skyrocketed these days. It’s prohibitive, like all of the rest of the American Dream. Kids are exhorted to get a college education, but it is put far out of their reach, and the loans they must get put the rest of the American Dream on hold, sometimes forever. Two years at a junior college to get general ed. credits accomplished is cheaper and smart. That’s how I did it a hundred years ago, and I’ve never regretted it. Not that that means a thing, esp. to Maya.
Things will work out.
J
So far, she has no interest in a tattoo. We’ll see how long that lasts.
I agree that community college is a good idea. It’s how Ted and I both did it. It’s just frustrating because for us, it was our decision, we were fine with it. Whereas Maya has been more focused and worked harder than we did, so we had all hoped for a different outcome.
Nance, I updated my post to include an article I saw in yesterday’s paper about the Armory in SF perhaps switching from porn to offices. Made me think of you.
Nance
What an interesting article! As usual, I read all the comments below it, and found them interesting as well. I have to say that I’ll be glad to see something more dignified going into that historical building. I also think it deserves to be further restored.
All of us at the Dept. started at community college. I felt very happy there; it was not so impersonal and huge. It provided a nice transition for those of us who were family-oriented.
J
I know, I will also be glad to see the building restored or at least used for something else. I will say that I’ve often wondered what that HUGE building is, when driving by on the freeway, so it was at least satisfying to find out.
The local community college has something like 22k students, if the people who came to talk to Maya’s school are to be believed. So impersonal and huge it will be. The 4years she was looking at were much smaller, with only a few thousand students. I do wonder, when they say 22k students, how many of those are active and working towards a degree or certificate, and how many are people just taking one class or whatever. I don’t know the answer, but I’ll admit to being surprised by the number.
Ally Bean
Maya seems like a sensible girl so if the nose ring is her only rebellion, so be it. Kind of cute, actually.
I agree with what Nance said above. I say that because when I went off to college I got thrown into dorms filled with noisy, snobby kids. It was a culture shock above and beyond the actual academic rigors of college– and shattered me into a thousand insecure pieces. Thinking back on it, if community college would have been an option I’d have been more ready for the madness of on-campus life when I got there. [Shared fwiw.]
J
Thanks for the insight on the dorm situation. Yeah, I think a lot of 18 year olds are not really ready to move out and be far away from their family, and then to be put into a situation like you were in can be horrid. I’m sorry that you went through that! I wasn’t really ready to move out, I don’t think. Maybe. But whether I was or not, I didn’t move out until I was 21, and even then it stressed me out. Very different stress than dorm life, because I had an apartment with a roomie, and a lot of my stress came from figuring out how to pay rent and utilities. If I’d been in a dorm with someone paying the bills, it might have been easier. Who knows.
leaca
That exhibit would have been awesome. I am a little jealous.
J
It was indeed lovely.
Nuvashini Devi
I am not into piercings facial or otherwise. My ears were pierced at age 5 I did not have any control over that decision. Tattoos are hideous in my opinion but in other cultures it is part of their tradition. The ones I see around this area down the legs and arms are ugly.
Sorry if I offend anyone. In our culture (Indian) we wear gold jewellry, bangles, rings, necklaces, earrings on a daily basis, unless were are widowed, then we remove all jewellry. Maya is the love of my life and I hope she never mark her beautiful skin with ink.