Family Treasures

Monday was my mom’s birthday, and it was also my Great Aunt Flo’s birthday. My mom was born on her 18th birthday, and Aunt Flo always said she was the best birthday gift she ever received. Aunt Flo married my great uncle Wes on her own 26th birthday, and my mom spent her 8th birthday being a flower girl in her beloved aunt’s wedding, a job she cherished.

Aunt Flo became a widow after only 11 years of marriage. She never had children of her own, and Uncle Wes’s girls were mostly grown by that point. 2 of them were married, and I believe the 3rd had also moved out already. Aunt Flo had to find some direction in her life. Her husband had left her well provided for, so she need not go back to work. She decided to go to college, and went to the University of the Pacific, in Stockton, to become a teacher. She had to get special permission to live in her own house down the street, because the rules of the college were that female undergrads had to live in university housing. After graduation, she dedicated her life to taking care of others. She took care of a cousin who was dying from cancer, until that cousin passed away. Then she took care of her parents, until they died, first my Great Grandfather Percy in 1975, and then my Great Grandmother Lillian in 1987. Not long after that, she bought a house in Stockton, but didn’t live in it. She rented it out, and moved in with my Grandparents, and helped my Grandma take care of my Grandpa until he died in 1988. As they aged, she became the caretaker for my Grandma. Grandma’s health was not great, she had too many years of smoking and dieting, which combined gave her osteoperosis at a very young age. She broke her hip at age 40. She also had scoliosis, which became painful as she aged and her spine compressed, combined with arthritis. Grandma never attributed her health issues to these factors, always to having 4 kids. Aunt Flo was healthier, because she had never had children. Admittedly, Aunt Flo has also dieted from the age of about 13, never wanting to get above a certain number on the scale. But she didn’t have scoliosis, and she never smoked. And of course, some of good health is also good luck. More than we realize, I think. She takes some supplements, but the only medication she takes is a once a week pill for osteoperosis.

Aunt Flo was in the room when I was born. She stayed with my mom for several weeks prior and I believe a few months after, helping take care of Richard, who was 2, and of me. Grandma couldn’t be there, because treatment for her broken hip wasn’t great, and though she broke her hip at 40, and was now 42, my mom used to tell me that I walked before she did. So it took her almost 4 years to walk properly again, because finally the artificial hips were improved enough to not shatter bearing her weight.

Aunt Flo is amazingly methodical, and thus can take FOREVER to do anything. My mom told me that when she used to pin her hair at night, if one pin was wrong, she had to undo her entire head of hair and start over. When we were growing up, and would go to see Aunt Flo and Great Grandma for lunch or dinner, my mom would feed us on the way, knowing that it was going to be hours and hours before food was ready. Indeed, the meal we were on time to enjoy might actually still be frozen. Once, when Maya was about 9 or so, we were visiting Grandma and Aunt Flo, and Aunt Flo offered ice cream. Maya said she would like some, and Aunt Flo got up to get her some. 20 minutes later, Maya asked me if I thought she might get her ice cream soon. I said, “it’s going to be at least another 20 minutes, just be patient.” And it was. To take the ice cream from the freezer and put it in a bowl took her 40 minutes of puttering around. The only thing she could do (semi) quickly was make coffee.

When I moved to San Francisco to go to college, without knowing how I was going to pay for anything (I did have a job, but no savings for rent deposits or books or tuition), Aunt Flo loaned me the money for tuition. And when it took me more years than I would like to admit to pay it back, she saw it as a welcome treat to (eventually) be repaid. She had forgotten all about it.

When I was 10 or so, Aunt Flo and her eldest daughter, Carol, took me with them for a drive through Yosemite, up to Lake Tahoe for a couple of days. It was a wonderful vacation. I remember her putting a dollar into a slot machine at a casino, and telling me it was for me, if she won, the money would be for my college education. She didn’t win, and I think she was more disappointed than I was. They took me to an all-you-can-eat buffet, and she encouraged me to get 2nds and then 3rds of chocolate mousse.

So on Saturday, I drove to Stockton to take Aunt Flo to lunch at her favorite restaurant, Red Lobster. The same Red Lobster as in the picture above, where she and Grandma were enjoying Strawberry dacquiris. I suggested she might get one this time, and she said she didn’t think she had ever had one before. So I showed her the picture on my phone, and she was thrilled. I printed up a copy of it for her and mailed it on Monday, so she can have a picture of her and Grandma together at their favorite place. Aunt Flo has a serious sweet tooth. She sucked down her dacquiri, ate 2 cheese biscuits, a few bites of salad, and 2 fried shrimp, then declared herself full. She did manage to eat about 1/2 of the asparagus. Not to worry, she took the rest home for her dinner, or perhaps lunch the following day. The staff at Red Lobster are always generous with the biscuits, and brought her more to take home, no charge. She did manage to have room left over for the ice cream sundae they brought her to celebrate her birthday, and she really enjoyed them singing Happy Birthday to her. Then we went back to the house, where she enjoyed 3 pieces of the See’s candy that I had brought her. But she probably will deny herself proper meals for a week to make up for the indulgences.

Aunt Flo is now 94, and is in the phase where she wants to know who is going to get what when she dies, and to give some of those things away early. I brought home two family heirlooms, a bible and a rolling pin. The rolling pin does not appear to be anything out of the ordinary, and if she had passed away and we were cleaning out the drawers in her kitchen, I am sure it would have gone to goodwill. But she told me the history of it, which is that Aunt Flo’s great-grandfather Herndon made it himself, as a wedding gift to his new daughter-in-law, Aunt Flo’s grandma Lucinda. Aunt Flo’s grandma Herndon was married in 1895, so the rolling pin is 123 years old. Quite a treasure.

My Great Grandma’s bible is battered and well loved, and is full of newspaper clippings of deaths and anniversaries and so on. There are names and dates of the children she had, as well as brothers and sisters and so on. Included is her brother Chester, who was shot and killed in a robbery, because someone thought the container he was carrying out of his business office was full of money. It was his lunch. Also her daughter, Roberta, who died at age 5 after eating poison berries from a bush outside, likely oleander, which grows all over the place in California. . There are happier stories, of my grandma’s birth and marriage, my mom’s birth, and so on. I am debating whether to add to the book with my own line, or leave it as is. As the blank pages are all full, I suspect the answer is simple enough, that I can add to it on spare paper.

I am beyond honored to have these treasures. I remember going to visit my Great Grandma many times growing up, and I loved her very much. Hers was the first family death that really hit hard, as I hadn’t seen my Great Grandpa in many years and didn’t really remember him when he died. He was ill when we moved back to California, and died soon after. While these things take me back and make me think of their original owners, they also will always bring my darling Great Aunt Flo and my Grandma to my heart and mind. They were only 16 months apart, and were best friends their entire lives.