Safety
This week was the final week for the PEP program I’ve been teaching at Maya’s school, and the lesson was on health and safety. One of the exercises that we did was to write categories on a flip chart, and have the students (4th and 5th graders) give as many examples of how to be safe within that category as they could think of. The categories were: safey in the home, personal safety, water safety, bicycle safety, outdoor safety, and nutrition and exercise. One thing that struck me when they were brainstorming their answers is, these kids are pretty sure that they or someone they know is going to be abducted. When did this become such a huge fear for our children? If you’re from California, perhaps it was when Polly Klaas was abducted from a party in her home. If you’re older, maybe it was the Stephen Stayner case. There are, sadly, plenty of cases of child abduction around our country, so to name them all would be difficult. However…the chances of being abducted, especially by a stranger (the majority of child abductions are by non-custodial parents, NOT strangers) are fairly slim. Look at yesterday’s news…two girls were missing, two girls were found, one tragically dead, one tragically locked in a tiny closet, but my point is that it was national news. A really big deal. This would not be the case if it were common. If every time someone died in a car accident, for example, it made NATIONAL news, our newscasts would be of nothing but gory accident results. And yet, not one child, when discussing personal safety, mentioned seat belts. Not one. Safety in the home? Nothing about the house burning down, or electrocution, or safety with knives, or washing your meat before you cook it, anything like that. It was all about locking the doors, having a dog, having an alarm, taking karate, etc. Outdoor safety? Watching for strangers, keeping mace on you, knowing karate, etc. One girl finally brought up sunscreen and bug repellent, (a girlscout from Maya’s troop…Yay scouts!), and how many people do you know who have had skin cancer scares vs. people who have been abducted by a stranger? I was blown away.
I am in no way saying that children should not know how to keep themselves safe. Of course they should understand “stranger danger”, pay attention to what is happening in their surroundings, take a self defense class or two, whatever they can to make themselves and their parents feel safe. {Maya took a karate class when she was younger, and it focused on safety with strangers. But at one point, the instructor made it pretty clear that a large adult will be able to overpower a small child, no matter what wicked martial arts moves the kids know, strictly based on size and strength. He then proceeded to prove it, bringing the oldest child up (a young teen, I think) and holding her while she tried her hardest to get away. It was a sobering and somewhat scary exercise, but what it taught them was to try their hardest not to get into that situation to begin with…and use the tools they do have, like screaming ‘fire’ and telling, ‘you’re not my dad/mom’, something like that. Good skills to know, I think.} But I do wonder if our children are growing up scared of the world in which they live? I wonder if they’re afraid to go out and walk to the store alone, afraid to walk home from school alone, afraid to be without the protection of their parents 24/7? Do they really think that the world is THAT dangerous of a place? Perhaps. You can’t talk to a parent anymore about kids safety without someone saying, “It’s different than when we were kids. Things have changed so much. You can’t let your kids play in the front yard anymore.” Ted and I were talking about this the other day, wondering, how much have things really changed? It’s certainly more congested around here than it was when Ted and I were Maya’s age. There’s certainly a bigger chance of getting hit by a car if you’re not paying attention, and there are more people around our neighborhood than there were then. But the older, more developed neighborhoods? I suspect the neighborhood Ted grew up in is just as safe now as it was when he was a boy. And I hope that the families in the neighborhood let their kids run around the neighborhood and play until dinnertime. After the class I taught the other day, though, I kind of doubt it.
11 Comments
CuriosityKiller
It must have terrifying for these kids to actually have an instructor demonstrate how powerful human predators are!! It’s not a movie and not about kung fu. Sometimes it’s simply impossible. I think it’s a very good exercise to clear the notion of the “what if” and “you should have”. There are definitely more understanding and mutual awareness. But still…
It’s must have been such a sobering day for you. Oh my God, I can’t believe these kids are raised to be afraid. This post reminded me when I was in Junior high school in NYC, and our “lunch room cafeteria” was the basement with barred windows and doors. We get called into lineups to get lunches by tables which are numbered. Kids there were raised like they’re in prison over there, and kids in your area are raised to be comfortable in fear.
What a mess.
Py Korry
I feel bad for kids that they have to be afraid of being abducted. But nowadays, it seems like kids are more interested in being behind a computer than playing outside — except when they do get a chance to play outside. 🙂
Ml
With abduction so common, I can see why kids are fearful. It’s so sad because they can’t even play in they own backyards! Last summer a four year old was abducted from her own backyard by the neighbor. Parents and police spent a long time looking for her and she was right next door the whole time. It was not a good ending either.
J
The sad thing is, ML, it isn’t any more common than it was when we were kids. It’s just on the news a lot more, so we all know about it. Sigh.
Wanderlust Scarlett
I don’t think children really see the world as that dangerous a place, but (and I quote) “Children are like wet cement, whatever falls on them makes an impression”… tis true.
When our little ones are very small, how many times do we tell them ‘don’t talk to strangers, don’t take candy from strangers, don’t get into anyone’s vehicle… if you are approached by someone, this is what you do…’
WE drill it into their open little minds from very early on, ‘watch out, the world is not always a safe place’ and that is good, to an extent. It’s good to be wary and careful, I think that’s part of the reason that abduction isn’t common, our kids are more aware about these things. Street smart.
As with anything, it can be over done, though, and I think some parents go a little overboard, which (I believe) can strip a child of just a little too much innocence.
On the whole though, it all falls back to ‘better safe than sorry’. As they get older, they tend to relax about it a bit. They begin to understand that not every stranger is dangerous, but they still have the wits to be safe.
Glad to know you are participating in Maya’s school, it’s so important to take advantage of those years, to make a difference in their childhoods and those of their friends. Bravo to you, lady. I wish more parents did that. I’ve been to schools in the early years to read stories and show videos, lecture in classes… makes a big difference.
Best,
Scarlett
Maya's Granny
Kids are way more afraid than they need to be. Parents are way more afraid than they need to be. The news is always sensational, always on the basis of “if it bleeds, it leads.”
The world has always been a dangerous place, and always will be. If it isn’t bears in the back yard it’s cars on the road. People are people, and there have always been and always will be predators. By the same token, most people are good and most kids are safe. While the potential for war and that kind of violence is great these days, in most ways we are all better off and safer than at any time in history. It’s too bad we don’t get to enjoy it.
Gina
I try not to drill into Mr. P that strangers are bad and evil. Mostly, I just watch the heck out of him rather than have him give up too much freedom. I wonder if that will change, though, with the arrival of a baby. He would rather play outside any day of the week, and I am lucky to live in a pretty safe area.
Autumn's Mom
I can tell you that Autumn doesn’t think the our tiny place in the world is a scary place anymore than I thought it was when I was a kid. She still wants to wonder our neighborhood and I let her. She has a cell phone in case their is trouble. She wants to wonder up to the highway to go to McDonald’s and that I do not let her do and I tell her why. She keeps asking though.
hellomelissa
it’s hard not to frighten your kids with ALLLLLLL the dangers out there, and ALLLLLL the safety precautions. i mean, i know a mom who has stuffed her kid to the point that the kid is obese and teetering on the brink of juvenile diabetes! yes, even eating can be dangerous! ack!
wordgirl
How great it is that you are doing this very important thing…and yet…how sad that it is so very necessary.
dew
I’ve thought about this a lot, too. My biggest concern is that there is such a focus on stranger danger these days, when really, child molesters tend to be someone well known to the family. And I have seen sensational news stories that actually show maps of elementary schools and all the sex offenders who live nearby. But most sex offenders aren’t child molesters. They’re usually rapists. Not that I want my kids around rapists, of course. But the news stories imply that these predators have preyed on children, when they haven’t.