Kindness
“Three things in human life are important. The first is to be kind, the second is to be kind, and the third is to be kind.” ~ Henry James
I feel as though this message is coming at me from all directions lately. My beloved Py Korry wrote a post about hatred, and how it can be used to dehumanize others…then Ms. Mama wrote a post about the death of someone she knew, and how we should all be kind to those we love, for you never know when we will see them again…then Cherry wrote about how we can start a peace revolution, spreading peace with kindness. Last night, in a class I’m taking to help children with resiliency skills and making healthy choices, they showed a very short bit about the power of one, and some of the brave people there were people who were known for their kindess, like Mother Theresa and Gandhi (Update: Thanks YouTube! You can see the inspirational video here, if you like. It’s maybe a minute and a half).  The other day, I received an email from a local organization, Creek Kids Care, which included one of my favorite quotes, the one from Henry James, up above. (Creek Kids Care is a small group of children…the younger ones make drawings and paintings, the older ones cut them and make them into note cards, which they then sell. The proceeds are used to buy food, sleeping bags, and tents for local homeless folks. Great idea, getting the kids involved in such a great, creative way. Maya’s going to an art party there this afternoon.) Heck, even my sidebar mentions kindness, in the Lyrics Section. One of my favorite Jewel songs, Hands, which says:
I will not be made useless
I won’t be idled with despair
I will gather myself around my faith
for light does the darkness most fearMy hands are small, I know,
but they’re not yours they are my own
but they’re not yours they are my own
and I am never brokenPoverty stole your golden shoes
but it didn’t steal your laughter
And heartache came to visit me
but I knew it wasn’t ever afterWe will fight, not out of spite
for someone must stand up for what’s right
cause where there’s a man who has no voice
there ours shall go singing
In the end only kindness matters
In the end only kindness matters
(btw, if you want to hear the song, there’s a cool Listen button over there on my sidebar. Go for it!) I know, it’s probably not cool or hip to like Jewel, but whatever. I am nothing if not a dork. And I remember this song really helping me a lot internally after September 11th. There was so much pain in the air, so much horror and sadness and fear of what was next, that the idea that I could in some small way keep that horror at bay was important to me.
So now, here I am, inundated with a message from so many directions. I am open to it, I hear it. I believe it. Is there something more I need to do in my daily life, to be more mindful of being kind? And if I’m more mindful of kindness, do I have to give up my snarky side? Because, uh, she’s me, too.
Here’s what I think. I think that if we are mindful of the words that we choose, of our actions and attitudes and beliefs, we can still keep that snarky side, the ironic side, that side of us that sees the bitter humor in life and can find some sick joy in it. I think there’s a balance to life, and without seeing both sides, I for one cannot really be myself.
14 Comments
Tabitha
Thank you so much for this post! I REALLY needed to read something like this. I feel like you do – there are many messages to be heard. We all need to be peaceful and kind…I try to live that way & teach my children that way….however. There is a side to me that is ‘snarky’ as you say. And people don’t always see that as a way of delivering humor?
I took great comfort in reading this. It has made me feel a warm embrace – from your coast to mine.
Ml
What a great post! Awareness and mindfulness is always so important. Kindness is what makes the world go round, and it needs desperately to replace the hate that’s consuming us. I do agree that we need to be ourselves, though. As long as we’re kind, good people, we can still keep our true well rounded self.
Py Korry
Wonderful post! I think you’re right to appeal to the better angels of our nature, but it can be so difficult to be kind in certain environments. Yesterday, I told you about and Cherry about an incident while driving. And while I didn’t do anything to further inflame the situation, my blood was boiling and I didn’t feel the least be kind when thinking of my fellow human in the car behind me.:-(
Beenzzz
I do believe its good to be kind, but sometimes…….it’s good to be very unkind! Sometimes people deserve a slap in the face. Other than that, it is good to be kind! 🙂
Tracy
“I know, it’s probably not cool or hip to like Jewel, but whatever. I am nothing if not a dork.”
That’s why I like you, J! You have your own opinions about things. To me that is far more interesting than saying that you like whoever’s music us currently topping the charts all in the name of being hip. 🙂 Go, you!
Gina
To me, there is too much selfishness in the world, which leads to unkindness. If all you are thinking about is how to get yourself ahead, get things for yourself, etc.. there is no way you are going to take anyone else and fit them into your equation.
We all need to be reminded to practice kindness. Thanks J!
Heidi
I defintiely don’t think you’re a dork for liking Jewel. She can write and your post I find NAMASTE. Thank you.
It can be fun to be sarcastic and cutting at times, but in the end, it feels so much better to find the beauty in all things.
Cherry
J, you really are one of the kindess people I know. And your snarky side isn’t a mean one. You know the difference between being snarky and being unkind. And on occasion there might be a moment of crossing that line but you are mindful of your actions and you make amends.
Keep being you.
Pony Storm
Hi J.
How delightful that someone actually misses my blogging.
The last time I tried to post on “Pony Storm’s Ride” I screwed something up, and couldn’t get back to the posting site.
Inspired, I’ll give it another try.
Lately I’ve been bombarding my friends with blog-like e-mails and driving them nuts. They wouldn’t read my real Blogs regularly, so I turned to this intrusive technique. Some of those “friends” are friends no more.
Thanks again for the note of encouragement!
Maya's Granny
The difference, for me, between snarky and mean is that I may say the snarky thing about X to Y, knowing ahead of time that Y is not the sort of person to pass it on or think it is my true opinion of X and I will never say it to X. It relieves the tension so I can go on and be kind.
If I really think it of X, then it is something I need to do something about or accept that I can’t and have as little to do with X as possible.
You are a very kind person. You have been kind and thoughtful all of your life.
Dot
I guess at this point I will ditto what everyone has said. I hope through my haze of PMS this weekend, I can remember to spread a little kindness J STYLE!
ally bean
Kindness, goodness, gentleness have all gone out of fashion during the Bush administration. I find this very ironic because one of the most basic Bible verses says,
“But the Fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Against such things there is no law.” Galatians 5:22-23
Maybe their Bibles are missing that chapter.
wordgirl
Those cards are wonderful. And what a great cause! I’ll raise tonight’s glass of wine to KINDNESS in all it’s many forms.
Wendy
I just love the way you write – i think you are an optimist and it comes through in your words – makes me want to be a better person somehow, even just reading your words from afar..