Fashion DON’TS
You all know of my obsession with What Not To Wear. I love to see them take a person with a misguided sense of fashion, and turn them into a lemming fashion plate in one short week. Really, for all that the folks DO tend to come out looking a bit cookie-cutterish, they ALWAYS look 150X better than they did going in. Well, after a particulary entertaining episode yesterday, when the victim participant (Eddie, over there on the left) reminded me of no-one so much as Bobcat Goldthwait in Scrooged, I had to go look at the website. While there, I saw that one of the host/stylists, Clinton Kelly, had some tips on the new fall fashions. Some of them are really important. Why? Because, people, stretch pants and ‘skinny jeans’ do NOT look good on 95% of the population. I just KNOW that leggings now means stretch pants soon, and I want to stop that trend in its tracks. I know I have no power to change trends nationally, but I think that if I can save just one person from the absolute horror of standing behind somone in stretch pants, I will consider myself a success. (And I’m not claiming that I haven’t done my share of horrifying the masses, back in the day….no need to remind me.)
So, without further ado, here are the tips that I thought we all need to remember the most:
Gotta Love Leggings!
Yeah, they’re back, and quite frankly, they’re not for every woman. Anything that clings to the lower half of the body will emphasize curves. So, if your lower half is curvier than you’d like, you might want to proceed with caution. Instead of wearing leggings under a long bulky sweater, try pairing them with a pretty, full skirt (also a trend) and ankle boots (yet another trend). If this still scares you, stick with opaque tights; they’re just as stylish.Get Juiced For Jeans
Skinny jeans are difficult to pull off (figuratively and literally), but they’re really sexy. They tend to create curves on a body that might be a bit boyish. Not for you? (J’s note: PAY ATTENTION PEOPLE…he’s saying they’re sexy on people with stick thin bodies here…if that’s not you, step away from the skinny jeans!) Straight legs never really go out of style and trouser jeans keep getting more and more popular.
That’s it. If you want to read more of Clinton’s tips, regarding fall colors, gold chains, ballet flats, jumpers, etc., you can find them all here.
17 Comments
Beenzzz
HAHAHAHAHAH! Ok, this post cracked me up. It’s true though, people who don’t have the figure for leggings and skin tight tube jeans will most likely be the ones wearing them. I remember wearing these clothes in the 80’s and quite frankly, I’m afraid to go there again!
Ml
Oh, fashion and its trends. I’m staying away from the leggings and skinny jeans. Why would I want to look like a lollipop in my clothing?
Scrooged is one of my all time favorte Christmas movies. It’s right up there with White Christmas and It’s a Wonderful Life.
Maya's Granny
Skinny leg jeans — one more bit of evidence that women are supposed to look like teen aged boys in order to be acceptable. What is wrong with being a curvy woman? That, after all, is how the female body is meant to be. Why would we want to look like boys? But, each of us, in her day, is apt to really want it.
Tabitha
Can I just say that I am horrified at the thought of:
skinny jeans
leggings
leg warmers
big hip belts
off the shoulder shirts
wearing 2 layers of the big, scrunchy socks (I have seen them in stores..aaaaggghhhh)
any shirts with elongated wastes
I’m sorry, but I’ll have to be horribly out of style in my boot cut jeans & hippy-ish clothing until these horrible trends run their course.
I guess I should start stocking up on the boot cut jeans before I can’t find them anymore – except for the ‘Husky’ section in Sears or something. How would that be for my ego??
Tracy
J,
I feel that you’ve now done your duty to society to keep skinny jeans and leggings at bay! This curvy girl THANKS YOU!!! I’ve been observing the resurgence of the ’80s all around me, and I’m just not wild about it. I didn’t dig 80’s fashion in the 80s, and I guess I’m not wild about it now. And I think it’s because 80’s fashion looks best on super thin people, which I’m not!
:),
Tracy
Cherry
Even back in the 80’s and people said I was stick thin I had already developed my birth barin’ hips, and I couldn’t fit into the skinny jean back then, so I’m certainly not going to try now. Although I was a slave to leggings, and stirup pants for quite a while, I’m not going to go back. Yoga pants are as close as I get and those rarely go out of the house unless to the gym.
I must admit that all of those Gap billboards all over the city make me a little pissed off, although I do love the Audrey Hepburn commercial.
J
Yeah, Audrey looks good in them. But I’m pretty sure she was at least bullemic, maybe anorexic. Not that you have to be that thin to get away with the jeans, but almost.
Heidi
Leggings only look good on chunky baby thighs. Skinny jeans? Yeah, they totally work for Audrey Hepburn in that Gap commercial. And teenagers.
What about “the muffin top” effect? My friend Annie explained it as the “roll over” the top of your lower waisted jeans. Muffin? Let me just say Bagel.
wordgirl
I’d love to get several pair of the skinny jeans. I’m a sucker for the GAP commercial.
Py Korry
My problem is that I’m attracted to a style of clothing, but it doesn’t really fit my age or body type…
J
I think that’s the probem for a LOT of us, dear Py. We all want to look young and hip. Sigh. The trick is to still look cool, somehow, without falling into the “oh, s/he’s trying WAY too hard…” trap. Not easy.
Amy
Hey, J, love the new look! Good for you. As for all the 80s style coming back in (ANKLE boots? NOOOOOO!), yuck.
Andie D.
Neither for me, thank you! Been there, done that (around, say, 1986?).
How funny that you wrote about this! City Slicker Mom just wrote about leggings too!
http://cityslickergirl.blogspot.com/
la luna
Stretch pants are so comfortable, and I think a little more attractive than P-Jammer pants. I see the school age girls walking around in p-jammer pants with sweat shirts. Looks comfortable but a little ugly. Even skinny jean are prettier. But, I believe some day they will come up with a fashion look that is orginal and not a repeat from the past. On top of that it will compliment every womens figure. Yeah I am a dreamer.
CG
I live in those tight things. Seems that’s all I wear these days. I really don’t care that I get a lot of kidding from #1 daughter about my butt being too flat.
Lotus
Love this post! Fashion is probably one of my 15-year old’s favorite things to discuss, so when I rattle off all that I’ve learned from this post, boy, she is sure to be impressed! 😉 And no, somehow, I cannot bring myself to wear leggings, not unless I’m in the gym. As for drain pipe (skinny) jeans – I can’t decide if I like them or not, so until then I’ll stick with my straight-cut classic trouser jeans.
hellomelissa
i’m boycotting both trends. if we all band together and refuse to buy… hmmm… the trend will probably continue much in the way that the ultra low rise pant has. but hey, here’s hoping retailers will take notice!