What’s Wrong with this Picture?
I’ll tell you what’s wrong. It’s a Porsche. A Porsche Cayenne. Since when did Porsche get into the dorky car market? I thought Porsche was supposed to be sexy and fast and a fantasy car. This is SO not sexy or fantasy. Not sure if it’s fast. I saw one while I was out on my walk the other day, and I confess, I died a little bit inside.
Porsche is driving fast at night under the full moon, top down. It’s tight corners and Risky Business and sex and loud music and fun. It’s hanging out at the ocean and smelling the salt air and hearing the waves. It’s feeling the sun beat down on you, and not worrying about skin cancer. It’s being young and wild and free. Or older and trying to hang on to that feeling, since no actual young people can afford a Porsche.
It’s not diaper bags and soccer games and cheerios and juice boxes in the back seat. It’s just not.
9 Comments
jan
I feel so betrayed.
J
Jan, I know, right? I can’t even think of a comparable analogy.
OmbudsBen
For me, one analogy would be light beer. Beer is flavor and carbohydrates and not so much alcohol it rushes your head like distilled sprits and, oh, yes, did I say carbohydrates?
Sucking all the flavor out and turning it into tin-tasting fizzy water is not beer, it’s some sort of corporate beer product aimed at people who really want something else instead, but still want to pretend their drinking beer. Like buying a sports car brand name when what you really want is a minivan.
J
Ben, nicely done. I don’t like beer, so this wouldn’t have occurred to me.
Nance
…and they think they’re really helping by calling it “Cayenne.” Yeah, right. It’s not little, it’s not hot, and it doesn’t even begin to translate “spicy.” Forget it, Porsche. This is a MOM CAR.
Curiositykiller
Ewwwww. (Scrunch face.)
Curiositykiller
I’m so disappointed! I’ve always considered Porche as the benchmark of beauty and class.
L.
Not that I would ever, ever, buy one, in a million years, but……
……I like them. I do!
I’ve seen them around Tokyo, and they look like….oh, I don’t know, oversized kitchen gadgets, maybe? And the name….a spice. Wow, I am surely their target market.
I could be one helluva soccer mom with 650 hp.
But…ain’t gonna happen. Even if we were rich, we surely would never spending that much on a car. Um….maybe a used one….?
(And yes, I realize this all makes me certifiably pathetic.)
Auntie Kate
Oh but they want it to be! Just like the sound track at Trader Joe’s is Golden Oldies — the ones that were popular in my frenzied youth. These folks know their marketing, and where the money is. It isn’t in the pockets of the people who are young and moonstruck and go listen to the waves on the beach.
Time wounds all stereotypes, doesn’t it?