What are you thankful for?
This morning I was looking at the local paper, and I saw where a 2 year old boy had been mauled to death by 3 of the family’s 5 pit bulls. The tragedy that has hit that family has hit them hard, and I would assume they are now a family in crisis. The dogs (all 5) have been put to sleep. The grandfather, who owned the dogs, is in jail. My heart goes out to this family at such a horrific time. And I’m thankful that, at least so far, nothing that horrible has happened to me and my immediate family. Which got me to thinking about the different kinds of thankfulness. There is this kind, where I read about the boy who was mauled, or the woman who was raped recently about 2 or 3 blocks from here, or the woman who was hit and killed by a drunk driver last weekend, on the road that I walk several days a week. And I’m thankful that this kind of crisis has not hit us. This is the kind of thankful that makes you want to protect and defend the life you’re leading, hold your loved ones close, and shut out the ugliness of the world.
Then there is the more cheerful kind of thankfulness. Like walking this morning, when I saw a deer bound across six lanes of semi-heavy morning traffic, and make it safely to the other side. I was thankful for that, because of course I don’t want to see a deer get hit by a car or truck, and I also shudder to think of what a big deer (200 lbs?) would do to the front of a car, and certainly killing a deer on your way to work is a crappy way to start your day. Like enjoying the fact that the fog has come in enough to keep the nights bearable, and we haven’t had any horrid heat waves yet this summer. In fact, it’s the coolest summer we’ve had in several decades, which is mostly OK by me, because I get grumpy when it goes above 100. It’ll happen. But so far, I’m thankful for the cool weather we’ve been having. I’m thankful for my health, and that of my family. I do not take this lightly or flippantly. I know too many people who live with chronic conditions to do that. And I know that no one’s health lasts forever, so I am extra thankful to have mine now. I’m thankful for the beauty that is the world, for wonderful paintings, interesting music, movies, trees, birds, my dog. This is the kind of thankful that makes you want to smile at the beauty of the world because you’re feeling good, and you want to share that.
So there are two kinds of thankful here…thankful for what is, and thankful for what isn’t. Thankful for what we share, and thankful that some of the misfortune of others has not been shared upon us. Thankful for the gifts we have been given, and for that which has not been taken away.
I don’t know…I feel like I’m skirting the edge of something that I want to say. I wish there were only the good to be thankful for, and not the lack of bad in one’s own life, which certainly means that someone else is having a hard time of it.
8 Comments
Ted
I too am thankful for the lack of tragedy, injury, and general misery in our lives, and also thankful for all the good things.
Maybe you ought to re-post this around Thanksgiving. 🙂
Starshine
I’ve thought about this lately. We are so thankful and so happy for the two children we are adopting, but we are also very aware that our joy is intertwined with the pain of their birthmother, who had to let them go.
Selina Kingston
I used to lie in bed at night and think back on all the things that had happened during my day that I was thankdful (and sorry) for. My version of a prayer I suppose. I should go back to doing that. I’ve realised recently that I take too much for granted – especially my health
Linda Atkins
I agree that lots of people have horrible things going on, but I don’t know that it’s because you or I or others have (at the moment) less misfortune. I don’t think there’s a certain amount of unhappiness, so that if I have less, others have more. The good part about that is that there’s also not a certain amount of happiness, so (theoretically), we can all have plenty. (Happiness being not the same thing as material good fortune, where indeed some people having a lot does tend to have a direct correlation to others suffering.) Anyway, I’m glad you and your family and friends are, on the whole, well and happy! I hope it only increases.
J
Yeah Linda, I knew I wasn’t saying it right. I guess what I meant is, if I read something horrible in the paper, and it makes me thankful that those misfortunes are not mine…then yeah, someone else is having a crappy time. I don’t like that aspect of it. But it’s true. We are reminded of our good fortunes by the misfortunes of others.
Linda Atkins
Sorry; I hope I didn’t sound like an English teacher! I understand what you’re saying.
J
Linda, I didn’t think you were correcting me. 🙂 Just that maybe I wasn’t being as clear as I had hoped. Which I felt when I was writing it, actually.
OmbudsBen
The Greeks had several words for the different types of love.
You should coin words for your different types of thankfulness.
There’s a German word, schadenfreude, for joy at the suffering of others. Perhaps there’s some hybrid of schaden-gratitude for not suffering as others do — just thinking off the top of my —