What, Me Worry?
(Alfred, found here)
I’ve been unemployed for 3 weeks now, and people keep asking me how I’m doing…am I worried, am I stressed, am I OK? I’ve gotta say, thus far, I’m fine. I’m sleeping well, feeling fairly relaxed during the day, doing OK. I don’t have as much time for reading/blogging/watching TV/going to movies as I expected to have, but I guess that’s fine. I run a lot of errands, I volunteered at Maya’s school yesterday, I take walks or bike rides in the middle of the day. I look for work, but there isn’t much out there right now. I have a few job leads, which will hopefully work out, but if they don’t, I’m going to try to enjoy this bit of down time. I’ve worked pretty hard thus far in my life, and once in awhile, it’s kind of nice to chill out a bit. If Ted weren’t working either, of course, this would be a lot more stressful. Maybe that’s a big part of it. Seeing that he was unemployed for half of last year, and we came through it OK, makes me feel a bit more safe. And to be honest, after losing my mom, everything else seems minor in comparison. I’m still sad about my mom. I’m sad about it every day. But it’s not that crushing sadness that makes the sunshine look too bright, and the corners of the world seem sharp and dangerous around me. I’m starting to come out of that, and being out of work doesn’t really seem to matter. I’m more cheerful, the days are getting longer, it’s finally raining in California, and while I suspect that these next months will be difficult, things are looking up.
Of course, if it gets to the point where we can’t pay our bills, if we were to lose our house or something like that, it would be very different. If it meant spending Maya’s college fund (such as it is) on food and shelter, I’d be more stressed. But right now, I’m just not willing to freak out. I’m taking things one day at a time, and hoping for the best.
15 Comments
KelliAmanda
Good for you for making the most of this time and enjoying it while you can. I would be freaking out, but I haven’t been laid off (yet) and I’m already freaking out. Of course, I’m living paycheck to paycheck, so there would be no time for enjoying anything. Sigh. Oh to have made different decisions earlier in life…
J
KA, we’re fairly paycheck to paycheck here, too. The decision that saves me is one that I am thankful for every day, which was to marry Ted. 🙂
Cherry
This is so great that you are being able to relax during this time. I hope you can take all the time you need/want and are able to find a job when you are starting to feel the itch (no sooner or later).
I can imagine that the gravity of today’s troubles now pale in comparison to the pain you felt last year.
Autumn's Mom
It’s good to know you are doing ok. I was relieved when I got laid off five years ago. We do work hard and sometimes these are nice breaks. I hope you find something that truly makes you happy 🙂 I sure wish I lived out your way and we could go to lunch at Mary’s!
Jenny (your cuz)
I am glad your not worried. You deserve some down time. To greive for your mother, to relax, to spend time with your child, or simply chill. Enjoy it now, because I know soon you will have a new job to take up all your down time.
Donna
I like your attitude. I hope mine will be as good come May. I was hesitant to say anything when we met up yesterday because I knew you were probably getting asked all the time. And you’re right…slim pickings out there right now. 🙁
Starshine
It sounds like you’re in a really good frame of mind.
Enjoying life is so important.
Linda Atkins
Good for you! I admire your cheerful spirit. This line is very poetic: “But it’s not that crushing sadness that makes the sunshine look too bright, and the corners of the world seem sharp and dangerous around me.”
Nance
It’s all a matter of perspective,isn’t it? Imagine if this had been your situation last year, and you had this among other worries to count. It would be so different. Thank goodness also that you have some strength and such a great attitude–about everything. I don’t know if I’d be the same way.
patois
I do think a healthy outlook is for the best. Glad you’ve got that perspective.
(un)relaxeddad
Shit! We really need to organise college funds. I’m seriously impressed. You’re doing all the right things – not taking it to heart AND getting in some sensible CV filling activities (I know that’s not why you’re volunteering at Maya’s school but – with my careers person hat on – it’s canny stuff in any case)
Jimmy
Oh my gosh! I feel guilty because I still have my job,and my mancave is paid for as well as my vehicles and money still seems tight at times.
I couldn’t imagine being unemployed and wouldn’t take it well?
I wish you the best!
J
Jimmy, no guilt because you’re doing ok! I don’t feel guilty when I’m doing OK. I just feel thankful. 🙂
Laluna
Keep a stiff upper lip and remain hopeful…
Jason
Just wanted to chime in here (a little late) to let you know that I find your attitude on life really inspiring.