Friday Randomness
It feels like our descent into fascism is speeding up exponentially, doesn’t it? I suspect that is because it is. This has been a rough week or 30, hasn’t it? Oh hell, a rough century so far. To say I don’t understand this world is a gross understatement.
Ted recommended a podcast to me. Forum is a locally produced NPR show, and this episode is about the tension between the stresses in the world while we still need to go about our day, and continue to find beauty in our lives. Life Goes On While Systems Fray – How Do We Make Sense of the Dissonance? Give it a listen if you have time, it’s well done.
While worrying about the state of our Democracy and whether we will still have a country in 4 years, I wrote some postcards to voters in Mobile, AL for their special election. The race is a runoff between Democrat Barbara Drummond and Republican Spiro Cheriogotis. I’ll admit that I have not been making phone calls to my Representatives, nor have I been emailing them. They are all Democrats, so the urgency feels lower. But I know they need to hear from me, so I should will make a plan to do more of that. I didn’t go to last week’s protest against Trump, I went to see Downton Abbey and eat Mexican food instead. I’m planning to go to tomorrow’s protest, and am glad that it won’t be too hot. I’m fortunate that we live in an area with so many opportunities to let my voice be heard.
While stressing about global warming and how it will affect our future, I continued my decluttering project. I do not physically get rid of one thing a day, but I do definitely get rid of at least 7 things a week. So I might not get rid of anything on Monday, but then on Tuesday I might take 2 books to a Little Free Library.
I am trying to be mindful of how I dispose of things that no one wants. I don’t know where we got this candle, it may have been part of a bunch I picked up from my Buy Nothing group, and I wanted the others and took this one as part of the deal. But I don’t really like the smell, and the color doesn’t go with anything in my house, it’s blah. I could throw it away, but a better solution was to let it burn down, then remove the remaining wax and recycle the glass. Also recycled this week, a bunch of lightbulbs and batteries.
While worrying about the escalation of violence in Gaza, and the famine there, I still had to feed my own family. This week, Ted made crab cakes, Maya made a tuna white bean salad, I made the roasted cauliflower and chickpea tacos that Nicole made when Birchie was visiting her, bbq chicken/veggie burger, and chicken chili. Tonight is our night to go out for dinner.
While thinking about my local community and what I can do to bring bits of joy to my life and those of others, I visited these sisters, Kara and Lena. I continue to volunteer to clean kennels at our local PetCo, where they are placed for adoption. I like seeing them, they are so sweet, and the employees really seem to love having them there. But of course they’re even happier when they are adopted. These two are not considered to be a ‘bonded pair’, but I hope they are adopted together nonetheless.
While trying to escape from all of it, and to just enjoy myself, Maya and I finished the 3rd season of The Summer I Turned Pretty, and I finished the 2nd season of The Gilded Age and am now well into the 3rd. It’s no Downton Abbey, but I am definitely enjoying it.
Now that we’re just about at the Equinox, it’s feeling more like candle time. I like having a candle on our mantle in the evenings. It’s bright and cheerful. I got the original candle from Bath and Body Works, but instead of buying another, I put a small votive in the emptied jar and burn it that way. Much less expensive, and still lovely. Also, maybe the Sunset in Maui is discontinued, so I couldn’t buy another one if I wanted to.
Alley Bean had a post the other day about the Why of the things she does. She mentioned that one of the main reasons she doesn’t shop at Walmart is because it is inconvenient for her, there are lots of other places that are closer. That started me thinking about my reasons for voting with my pocketbook, as it were. I don’t shop at Walmart because I don’t like it, it’s inconvenient, and I don’t want to give that family any more money than they already have. I don’t judge those that do shop there, though. After my mom lost her last job and was living on unemployment, their prescription prices were much lower than her other options, so she grumbled about how much she didn’t like giving them her money, and then she did it. Needs must sometimes. And some people are simply not political. They go where they want to go and do what they want to do, and don’t stop to consider how it matters or doesn’t matter. A lot of people are this way, actually. I am this way at some level. I bank where I bank because it is convenient for me, even though the head of the bank is pretty shitty. I console myself that I don’t keep a lot of money there, and that because I have 3 credit cards that give me cash for points, which I pay off every month, I cost them money. That’s my rationalization at least. I have cut way back on Amazon and Target and Whole Foods, but it has been pretty convenient for me to do so. I have plenty of other places to get groceries, and if I do a bit of searching, I can usually find items that I would have gone to Target or Amazon for. Recently there was an item that we wanted, and I had been to 4 different stores to buy it, with no luck. Our options came down to Target or online. It seemed better to buy it from Target, rather than the carbon footprint of having it shipped to us.
What else. I finished a couple more books, so I will have more book reviews for you coming up. I know you can’t wait. 😉 I don’t think we have any big weekend plans, which is nice sometimes. I’m hoping to spend some time getting caught up on your blogs.
What about you? Do you find yourself marveling that the world around us continues, while at the same time everything seems to be falling apart? Any tasty dinners lately? Fun plans?
50 Comments
AC
Being in a town without all of the shopping available in a city, we did make an Amazon purchase this week, but we try not to. As for WM, we do have one in town, but I find it a sterile place that tends to suck my sould out of me, so I avoid it if possible. And it has been very possible for many months. I cannot remember the last time I darkened their doors.
We bought some itty bitty candles that supposedly smelled of apple pie. Not quite IMO.
Have a good dinner out tonight.
J
Yeah, I have bought a couple of things over the past 6 months at Amazon, but I am much more mindful of it than I used to be, so that’s a good thing. Same thing with Target.
StephLove
It’s hard figureing out how much action could possibly be enough. I go to a lot of protests and write postcards, too, but not every protest and not all the postcard campaigns. Walks, concerts, reading, movies, etc recharge me. And sometimes in my darkest moments, I think if I end up in a prison camp, I won’t be sorry I did those things I can’t do now. Not that I really think it’s going to come to that (probably).
And the boycotts… We’ve given up on Amazon and Target entirely and we never went to Whole Foods much anyway. Disney/Hulu would be hard, though. They own so much. And Beth and Noah really like the Star Wars tv series. I guess we’ll have to talk about it.
J
Whole Foods has been the most difficult for me. They are the only place locally that carries Roquefort cheese, which is made from sheep milk and thus my husband can eat it. (His tummy has grown more intolerant of cows milk over the years) Actually, now that I’m thinking about it, there’s a fancy store in a neighboring town that might carry it…I’m going to try that today! But WF would definitely be more convenient.
My daughter has HULU, we’ll see what happens with that. I’m hoping the pressure on ABC will mean they reinstate Kimmel soon.
Lisa's Yarns
The news is very bleak these days. And I get depressed when I think that we are not even a full year into this presidency. Gah.
Our shopping decisions are so very tricky. I still shop at Target because the alternatives – Amazon and Walmart – are worse IMO. And Target is a huge employer in my area. I don’t agree with things they’ve done this year but I still want them to thrive so friends/family don’t lose their job. It’s complicated.
The chickpea/cauliflower tacos look so good!!
J
It is complicated, right? I agree. I might go there more often if I knew someone who worked there. And you’re right, sans Bezos, they are much better than Amazon. Sans the Walden family, they are much better than Walmart.
Ally Bean
Thanks for the shoutout. I understand your reasoning about shopping, or not shopping, at Walmart. My in-laws shopped there, loved saving money on their canned goods and prescription prices. They were indifference to political reasons for not shopping there. I figure we all have to go to the stores that work for us and shouldn’t kick ourselves for doing so.
Different note: The 3rd season of The Summer I Turned Pretty? I just heard about this show for the first time about a month ago! I know I’m not one to be in the know about current TV but I am shocked. Once upon a time I was more with it.
J
Ally, yes, we all need to make our own decisions and not kick ourselves. Case in point – The Summer I Turned Pretty is on Amazon. We used to have Prime, but I cancelled it when Bezos got more serious about censoring the Washington Post editorial page. Maya signed up just so we could watch this show, which was a win for me because I could watch and still not give him any of MY money. Ridiculous, right? I hope she cancels her monthly subscription now that we’ve finished it, but we’ll see. She’s very political in that she has a lot of opinions, but I’m not sure she sees the real point of putting your money where your mouth is. She’s grown up in an era of billionaires, so likely that has jaded her view a bit.
Ally Bean
Interesting about Maya’s way of viewing things. [No pun intended.] Each generation does what makes sense to them, even if no one else gets it. That’s good, right?
J
To be fair, I haven’t talked to her about it, I’m just guessing from her general attitude. But yes, you are right, it’s good that she has her own mind and follows it.
K @ TS
I love the meme at the top. That actually happened to me, I read a headline about fall and in my mind it was physical. I think re Target and Amazon etc sometimes you have to do what is convenient, or less expensive or closer. If you drive around to four places, you are wasting gas and ruining the ozone layer, so is it better or worse than just walking to the Target next to your house? I don’t know, but I do know that nobody is perfect and usually blanket actions or statements are not completely correct. We can only do our best in some cases.
J
You make a good point about going to the closest store rather than driving further to shop somewhere that you perhaps like more. We are in such an urban area that that really hasn’t been much of a factor for me…unless I go to Lafayette today to find Roquefort. I may instead wait until next time I am out that way. Or I may go and call it an adventure. I know I’ll be sad if I go all that way and they don’t have any.
Nicole MacPherson
There are SO many things to worry about but for some reason I am stuck on the Jimmy Kimmel thing. So…I guess we just get rid of opposing opinions now? It feels like Putin, or communist China, in which dissenters disappear. Not that he’s dead but sheesh.
I never, ever judge where people shop, because I do not know their story. It’s such a privilege to be able to say “I’m not going to shop x” because not everyone has the choice. Sometimes people need the lowest cost option. If it’s a choice between Amazon or Walmart or what have you, or not getting the groceries a person needs, well, then it’s not really a choice. I discussed with a friend about her Amazon boycott, and she said “yes, it’s not giving JB my money, but also, I’m kind of screwing over some writers” because some writers are only published on Amazon. It’s not black and white, and we all just have to do the best we can.
It reminds me of that scene in Billy…what the hell was that movie, the one with the boy who danced ballet, in England during the Thatcher years? I can’t think of it. Anyway, the dad was a miner and they were on strike, and it came to the point where he had to chop up his dead wife’s old piano for wood to burn for the fire because they were freezing and had no money for heat. The next day he crossed the picket line and went back to work. He was so ashamed to be a scab, particularly in front of his fellow miners, but he needed to provide for his family. And what I’m saying is we can’t always stick to our principles. Sometimes we just can’t.
Whew, this is a long comment! I’ll close now! Glad you enjoyed the tacos!
J
Well, the Kimmel thing is scary. I hope it scares conservatives (vs. MAGA) and they wake the hell up.
I’ve never seen the movie you’re describing, but is it Billy Elliot? Yes, we all have to do what we have to do to get by, and you are right to not judge. And if there is something on Amazon that I want and cannot find elsewhere (like the book with Maya’s poems!) I will buy it. I’m just being a lot more thoughtful, and it feels pretty good.
Diane
Billy Elliot! I hadn’t seen it when it first came out and everyone was talking about this fabulous movie about a boy who wanted to dance ballet. And I finally saw it a few years ago and (maybe because I’m older and now a parent), but really it’s a movie about a dad who wants to do the best by his kid. And OMG that movie made me cry so much.
J
Oh goodness, that would get me too in all the best ways I think.
Nicole MacPherson
YES THAT WAS IT!!! I watched it many years ago and I could never, ever bring myself to watch it again. What a heart wrenching movie.
J
Now I think I need to watch it…
Gina
Jumping in to say I adore this movie so much.
J
Now I really need to see it, clearly.
Coco
I agree that a lot of choices we make is due to inconvenience, we will only change for strong ideological belief if it’s not too inconvenient.
We are going to Ketty Perry concert in few hours and I made 3 batches of pizza fought for birthday party tomorrow.
J
I hope you enjoyed the concert! How fun!
nance
As I remarked on Ally’s page, I have the luxury of being a political shopper. I don’t live in a food desert and I have Rick to drive me to places that are too far for me to drive at present. I refuse to give Walmart my business. My nephew gets my book business if he can get the book for me, and I’ve only resorted to Amazon for a particular supplement for Piper, my cat with FHV. The pet stores around us just don’t carry it anymore.
My dad was a union steelworker. He taught me about workers’ rights and boycotts before I was even a kindergartener. Politics was a frequent topic in our house. I learned that even food was political just by grocery shopping every week with him.
But I also learned from him that some people need help. And that we cannot ever judge anyone else’s actions unless we know their life. So we have to do what we can–whenever we can–because we can.
J
You’re right, it is a luxury to be able to shop politically. I think that’s why it’s so important for those of us who can to do so mindfully.
I love the lessons that you learned from your father. What a wonderful man he was.
Jenny
Lots of interesting things here! I’ll have to go read Ally’s post. Yes… everything seems so complicated these days. We’ve cut back on Target and Amazon, but not cut them out completely. I guess what we’ve been doing is just buying less in general, since there seems to be a problem with every place we shop. We’ve discussed buying more secondhand items as a family- but that doesn’t help with food, of course.
Love that top meme, ha ha. And- those kitties definitely go together! I hope they find a home soon.
J
I think being more mindful has caused me to buy less as well, which is a good thing. But I also try to buy things directly from the manufacturers, which takes a bit of effort but not as much as I thought. And sometimes I spend more, but not too often, thankfully.
San
I listened to that episode on Forum this week, and it prompted me to make a donation to NPR! I am having such a hard time this week with all the news! Good for you for continuing to write postcards and actively being engaged!
I can also relate to what Ally wrote, or should I say your take on it. I also try to “vote with my dollars” although I will make exceptions and rationalize it to myself sometimes… but you can’t do EVERYTHING ALL THE TIME.
J
I’m glad you listened to the Forum episode as well! I don’t listen too often, but after Ted suggested it, I decided to give it a listen. It felt helpful. And YAY for contributing to NPR! I’m a monthly donor, though it’s not a lot every month.
Melissa
I’m glad I don’t live in the US—it’s pretty insane, what is going on. Of course, we have our own brand of crazy here. I hope they fade away soon. I’m fairly careful with my shopping habits, but sometimes it’s a lot. I haven’t been to the bulk food store since before our UK trip, so about 6 months. Now that I’ve got out of the habit, it’s hard to get back into it. We’ve got a fairly busy weekend this weekend which I’m looking forward to.
J
I hope you enjoy your busy weekend! And yes, there are crazies everywhere. I wish they were just here, it would be easier to think we were the only ones going crazy.
Laura
Autumn does seem to have taken on a particularly downhill catapult sensation these days. Sometimes I’m tempted to insert an emoji to help capture this but then I realize I’ll be 20 in and it’s stilll a wild, wooly mess.
I’m into season 2 of The Gilded Age. I love a lot about it but haven’t quite fallen all the way in love, if that makes sense. I really enjoyed reading about how you’re being intentional. Very inspiring.
J
I’m right there with you about The Gilded Age. I love a lot about it, but am not in love like with Downton Abbey.
I’m trying to be intentional. I don’t do any of these things in a linear way….but it came together in my blog post when I was thinking about it all. The stress and the dissonance between the lives of those of us who are not affected personally. If my head were buried in the sand, it has not changed in the past year or two. But it’s not.
DB Stewart
Your opener caught me off guard. I had to laugh, but yes, your misunderstanding is very relatable. Every day is a little more like 1984. Sigh.
(But I still marvel at the world: my grandkids, art, strawberries, music…there a good people everywhere.)
J
Thankfully there is still a lot to marvel at! And welcome!
Birchie
I think a general rule of thumb for dealing with businesses that I don’t like is “don’t buy crap”. It solves a lot of problems. I’ve been “boycotting” Target for years only because they stopped carrying the staples that I was getting from them, and without the consistency of having the product at a decent price, it became pointless to shop there. I don’t like Amazon, but it would be very hard to cut them out completely. I also haven’t researched every company out there, so I’m never sure if by shopping somewhere else if I’m really spending my money for good. It’s complicated!
The kitties are very sweet. I’m sending good vibes that they get adopted together<3
J
I also haven’t researched every company, and just shut my eyes and hope for the best sometimes. But if a company REALLY pisses me off, then I start to pay more attention.
Allison McCaskill
Yeah, the cognitive dissonance that happens when you have to do day-to-day things while feeling like everything is pointless is pretty painful, and yet what would giving in to the despair actually do for anyone? And the decisions I’ve made about boycotting have not been exceedingly onerous either – I try to judge the balance of how much it will hurt me against how much it will hurt the entity I am boycotting, which does come out self-serving sometimes, but here we are. If the only place I can get something I really need from Amazon, I still get it from Amazon.
I have a friend I watch The Gilded Age with, we haven’t managed to start the third season yet, but we will not have to wait for new episodes to come out now. I just watched the first Downton Abbey movie last night, so we will probably stream the third at some point after I watch the second.
J
We can’t let the motherfuckers steal our joy, is what I say. But sometimes it’s really hard.
Margaret
It’s hard to feel good even about boycotting because I feel like a drop in the bucket. John and I go to protests since we’re safely retired and won’t put our jobs at risk. No matter the outrageous actions being perpetrated by this administration, there are still so many who support him. It’s disheartening. (and frightening) Love the sound of your meals especially your tacos!
J
All of those drops together fill the bucket, right? That’s my stance about whatever form of protest I can do, whether it’s with my wallet or my presence or mail to voters.
Diane
I just finished the third season of Gilded Age and I definitley was liked, “What the what???” I am eager for season four and whatever soapy drama Julian Fellows can dish out.
When I was in South Africa this summer, the other four grown ups in our part of the tour group were Black and one day at dinner there was a whole big discussion about whether or not they should still be shopping at Target. And to be honest I had never thought about it before. They all said that sometimes Target is the only option when you need things quickly so they just do it, but they don’t like doing it. It’s become somewhat fraught now when buying gift cards for teachers because I used to always just do Target or Amazon and now I just don’t know if that will upset people. Anyhow, I still do shop at Target and I still do the occasional Amazon order (and we still have Prime), but I have notice that I’m less quick to buy things. I now think, “Do I need this enough/ is it urgent enough to get it from Amazon?” And sometimes the answer is “No! Stop buying shit!” and sometimes the answer is, “Yes! you do actually need to get that thing and it needed to be here yesterday.”
Sometimes I feel like all I can do is make sure my kids don’t grow up to be assholes. Maybe that will offset my carbon footprint? (Or may be I don’t need to worry about that since Global Warming isn’t really a thing..? Sheesh.)
J
“Stop buying shit” is a good mantra for all of us, I think.
Gift cards for teachers is hard. I used to make a donation in their name to the Child Abuse Prevention Council in my area, and then give them a Starbucks card as well. Is Starbucks any better than Amazon or Target? Who knows. Yeah, it’s difficult. Too bad just giving cash would be seen as in poor taste.
Ernie
The world is so troubled. It is unsettling. A woman related to the owners of the dealership where lad works posted something on FB about the murder of Charlie Kirk. It was disturbing and the consumers are upset so very few people are buying cars from this family right now. Her post was alarming. No one should be murdered for their political views. I was talking about it with my husband and his siblings ~ I don’t remember my parents refusing to be friends with someone based on their political views when I was a child. Our country is so divisive nowadays and it did not used up be that way. So many things have changed like this. For the worse.
J
No one should be murdered for their political beliefs, you are right. And we have to learn to live with each other and find the humanity on the other side of the aisle. If we continue to see the other side as devils or evil incarnate, we will not heal. It’s hard sometimes, because what one side sees is literally not what the other side sees.
Gina
I cancelled my Disney/Hulu/HBO subscription right after they cancelled Kimmel last week and made sure to note why in the comments. I feel like my dollars are literally the only voice I have left right now. Protesting is great, but does it really make a difference here in California? I can write/call my reps but they are Dems as well, but I guess all politics are local so I should. I do feel really helpless and hopeless, but focusing on the things I do have control over is the only way I am going to maintain any sense of sanity. Which sounds like what your podcast is probably about, too!
I am grateful that I live in an area with so much amazing Mexican food. OMG, the choices that we have. We are spoiled with riches here. There is a small, local drive through joint by my Dad’s house that has been around since I was a teenager that has some of the best Mexican food (of its kind, of course) and I will never tire of it. We always try to stop by and pick something up when we go over.
And I feel Ted on the tummy being more finicky as we age thing. It definitely sucks and I would like it to stop, please.
J
Mmm. I love good Mexican food. And you are right, we are spoiled to have so much available here. When I hear my midwestern friends lament the lack of it there, it makes me sad for them.
Stephany
I’m reading a book right now that is set in 2023 and the U.S. is in the midst of a second Civil War. The book itself is meh, but I keep reading because I’m just hungry for information on how we keep going and living our lives when democracy is crumbling around us. It’s been an eye-opening read for that reason. How do we keep living our normal lives when people like Jimmy Kimmel are getting censored? (And you know it’s bad when even the conservatives aren’t happy about it!!)
Trying to find other places to do shopping has been SO hard. I tried using Aldi over Publix but they don’t really have the products I need. I still shop at Target, but only for household supplies. I need to be better about where I spend my money, but it is really such a privilege to be able to do so, which sucks.
J
You’re right, it really is a privilege to be able to say no to Target or Amazon or Walmart. Not just a financial privilege, because generally I can pay a bit more to get something somewhere else, but also one of location. Because I live in a very congested area, we have a lot of options.
Tobia | craftaliciousme
I am really ton with the shopping and where to put my money. We use amazon plenty. I know its crap but so convinient. I hate going to the stores. It brings me no joy at all and often enough your dont get what you need. BUT I am financing a very terrible human being. At least I am aware.
I have no more word for what is going on in this world. Left and right just white old dudes with a narcistic streak ruining it for everyone.
J
You know how I feel Tobia, regarding boycotting and so on? We all do what we can. If getting rid of Amazon doesn’t make sense for you, you do something else. There are many ways to fight fascism, right?