13 Again

September 15, 2009 /

Thirteen

(pic found here)

I remember 13.  I remember how emotional I was.  Stupid hormones going crazy.  I remember crying bitter tears because my mother thought I was ugly.  My proof?  SHE LOOKED AT ME.  Clearly she hated me.

And now, I’m the mom.  It’s a confusing position to be in, because there are days that are perfectly fine, with laughter and happiness…and then there are days when hormones run hot, and I feel like I can’t say anything right.  And when I ask her what’s wrong, she has been thinking I was mad at her the whole time.  Which I was not.  Not in the least.  I remember that, from the teen’s point of view.

I went to get a massage the other day to sooth my aching back, and the masseuse and I were chatting…he summed up the emotions of being 13 to me thusly.  “My mom would ask me a question, like what I wanted for dinner, and I would want to say, ‘WHY ARE YOU RUINING MY LIFE????'”.

Yeah.  That’s how it feels some days.

11 Comments

  • Autumn's Mom

    September 15, 2009 at 8:54 am

    I was a hormonal teenager and Autumn is as bad or worse than me. Maybe my memories have faded. It’s a roller coaster ride for sure. I’ve learned not to push, if she’s in a mood, leave her be until she can have a conversation. And then I force her to hug me. I still have irrational hormones, I guess we just learn to deal with it. My poor John. hahaha

  • joan

    September 15, 2009 at 9:36 am

    My 16 year old son is very moody. I think in many ways he puts his best foot forward all day for his teachers and coaches and there is nothing left when he gets home. I’m not condoning disrespectful behavior but I have learned to let him have his space and be less sensitive about his moods.
    So far my daughter isn’t as bad but I’m sure it’s coming.

  • V-Grrrl

    September 15, 2009 at 10:28 am

    Worst year at our house was when my son was 11. He was moody and unhappy and the bad feelings seeped into the rest of the family and filled the house with tension. Now he’s fourteen, and the past three years with him have been GREAT. My daughter turns 12 very soon. She has a sunny disposition, like her dad. I think I’m the moody, hormonal one in the family these days.

  • Chrissy

    September 15, 2009 at 1:04 pm

    Oh, I remember those days. My Mom always said that once I had children of my own, I would understand. Now I have a baby. 13 doesn’t seem all that far away now.

  • selina kingston

    September 15, 2009 at 1:43 pm

    I’ve got a fifteen and a seventeen year old and quite frankly I never know where I am with them. One minute, I’m cool funny mum who they can’t get enough of, the next I’m not worth speaking to or even looking at. I have tried to remain calm over the last few years remembering that I was in fact, far worse but please, someone, just tell me, how long does it go on for ??!!

  • OmbudsBen

    September 16, 2009 at 8:10 pm

    I think it’s great that you remember it so well, J. That’s most of the battle–and you all will get past it.

    Btw, Mrs. Ombud was an 8th grade teacher, and loved dealing with them at that age. When they acted up, she gave them choices. Basically, they could shape up, or face the consequences …

  • Jenny's BFF

    September 16, 2009 at 9:40 pm

    Everyone thinks that having a toddler and baby (like I do) is so very difficult. I don’t. I admire moms of teenagers – like you. The teen years are definitely the hardest.

  • Dad Who Writes

    September 17, 2009 at 9:25 am

    I sometimes think that the moment my relationship with my parents started to go wrong was when I hit adolescence. I think they just weren’t equipped by nature to deal with a teenager.