Open Letter to Creepy Guy
Dear Creepy Guy,
(Why say “Dear”? You are not dear to me. A better start would be, “Hey Asshat”)
Hey Asshat,
Just because you get some kind of creepy thrill from giving me the willies every morning on the bike trail doesn’t mean you’re going to stop me from walking my daughter to school. You ride by on your way to work (or wherever you’re going, I assume work because it’s the same time every day), and you stare at me, and sometimes you scowl, and sometimes you smile a skeezy smile, and once you blew me a kiss. Perhaps you think you’re sexy and charming, and I harbor a secret crush on you now. Perhaps you think it’s a compliment to approach strange women, even in this small way. Perhaps you get off on giving me the creeps, causing me to wonder if I am safe from you even with my dog being with me, and on a fairly populated trail. Making me feel like I should wear sunglasses so you can’t make eye contact. Making me try to stay close to other groups of people walking my way. Making me angry that I even have to pay attention to this crap during one of my favorite parts of the day.
Whatever the case, asshat, I bought you a present. It’s called pepper spray. It’s got your name on it, so get too close and it’s going to get really close to those beady eyes of yours, capiche?
Love,
~J
ps – a note to all of the genuinely nice guys out there, who wonder why nice girls won’t make eye contact with you, why they don’t smile and often look like they have a pole stuck up their ass, when all you want to do is say hello and find out if they might be nice…it’s guys like this. You take a room with 100 nice guys, and 1 creepy guy, and he’ll make the rounds to all of the women faster than you can say “what a f@cking douche bag”, and you won’t have a chance. Because from then on, from the first time a young girl goes out for a walk by herself and some skeezo pulls ‘it out’ for her enjoyment, or some guy calls her a bitch because she’s ‘too good’ for him (meaning she won’t give a total stranger on the street her phone number or jump in his car), she’s on the watch. She’s defensive. Which makes it hard for the nice guys, doesn’t it? Stupid asshat creepy guys.
19 Comments
LauraH aka MrsGrumpy
I’m glad you got the pepper spray. You have nailed it. It is why I worry about my daughter every day when she gets in her car for school. Be safe. Do you have his plate number, in case he does get too close?
wordgirl
Amen, sister. Amen.
Py Korry
My first instinct is to take a day off, take a walk with you and kick his ass. But, I think pepper spray is a better method of sending a message — if he messes with you.
My guess is that if he just sees the the pepper spray device, he’ll back off. But you never know. Some guys are as dumb as dirt.
J
Py, I didn’t even see him at all yesterday, so taking the day off might be a waste. Except for sleeping in a few hours more, and could you sleep in knowing you were going to get in a fight? Ugh.
I feel better with the pepper spray. I hope I never see him again, or have to use it.
ML
Asshat is right! Creepy is right too. Yeah, if he approaches you, spray he rass right in the eyeball!
I hope he’s gone and NEVER comes back!
Jenny
I hope you never get a chance to use it, but if you do it WILL hurt. I know, I was pepper sprayed twice in trainings. It is NOOOOOOO fun.
Mrs. G.
OK, I actually think coffee came out of my nose…asshat. I haven’t heard that one before. You go girl!
Autumn's Mom
I’m sorry J. What a fucking dick. I hope you walk with that in your hand so that the next time you see him he takes one look and never bothers you again.
Hey, maybe someone elses husband beat the crap out of him! haha One could hope.
Starshine
Have you talked to the police about this? If there’s one thing I believe in, it’s trusting your instincts. I hope you have no need for the pepper spray, but I commend your for arming yourself with protection.
Gina
Argh, can I come with you and take pictures of the asshat when you spray him? Some people can be such jerks and ruin it for everyone else. I’m sorry you have to deal with him.
J
Gina, if you do that, can we double post the picture on our blogs? 😉
Starshine, there was a patrol car at one of the trailhead places today, just hanging out making sure everyone was safe…I do trust my instincts, hence the pepperspray, but I thought of talking to the officer, and I wondered what I would say…Some guy is giving me the heebies when he rides his bike by, because he looks at me and smiles and once made a kissy face? I don’t know if any of that is illegal, so I wasn’t sure if they would care or not.
Beenzzz
What a friggin’ creep! UGH! I’ve been accosted twice with the “pulling it out” thing. Both times on campus. The second time I had to go down to campus police and identify him. So gross. What is up with these assholes anyway? I hope you never have to be in the position to use the pepper spray!!
Maya's Granny
J,
Do talk to the police if they are there again. That may be why they are there and it could help them to know his schedule. And if they aren’t already looking for him, it would be a good idea if they were.
As much as you hate it, do walk near other people. These creepy guys can be very unpredictable.
Starshine
Hi J,
I have no doubt that you are following your instincts! I just meant that they are definitely telling you that something is wrong with that creep, and it is worth mentioning to the police. You mom’s reasoning is really good, too! I’m glad they were there patrolling today. I bet you’re not the only one who he is creeping out.
Jimmy
J
Take your camera with ya. Let him see you taking his picture! If he confronts you in a less than friendly way, then bust his ass with pepper spray.
Then post his creepy picture on the internet!!!!!!
Chrissy
OMG, J! That is creepy! At least you have good instincts and you’re smart…and smart enough to follow your instincts.
J
Starshine, I was agreeing with you. 🙂 The downside of comment conversation.
Next time I see the cops there (they come by from time to time) I’ll tell them.
Jimmy, I had thought of taking his picture with my cellphone, but at this point, he’s only creeped me out a bit, and I don’t want to bring any more attention to myself…
Heidi
I’m with everyone on the instinct thing…it’s there for a reason! I don’t thinkit would hurt to tell the patrol about this dude. Maybe he’s done it to other women. I love it when you write with total gusto…you’re like Pam Mutha Fuckin’ Greer!
lalunas
I always walk a different route every day. Break it up. The route you go has two alternatives. May be you can alternate?