Deserving More

Last night we went to a graduation party for one of Maya’s friends, and of course there were several families there with kids who had also graduated. I was talking to one of the moms about the cost of college, and talking to her brought a couple of things to mind.

1st, the issue of deserving things that you cannot afford. The daughter is going to an expensive private school, even though the family cannot afford that in any way. The cost is about $60,000 a year. The daughter has worked hard and is receiving scholarships through the school that will cover half of that, bringing the cost down to $30,000 a year. Which the family still does not have. So they’re taking out parent loans for the difference, which means when the child graduates from college (and they still have a second child right behind her), they will be $120k in debt. They feel this is a worthwhile investment, because the daughter has worked hard and deserves it. More power to them, I suppose, but the concept of deserving is one I’ve come up against in the past, usually when someone is about to put something on a credit card that they cannot afford. “I know this is too much money, but I deserve it”. Once in awhile I suspect most of us do something similar, get tired of never having the better things in life or whatever, but if it becomes a mind set, you can find yourself in trouble pretty quickly. So really, the issue isn’t whether the daughter ‘deserves’ it because she’s worked hard. Of course she deserves it. But that’s not the same thing as, can she have it. At least not to me.

2nd, again, how expensive college has become. People who tell you to go ahead and apply to a private school are right. That fancy $60,000 a year school is REALLY $30,000, if you have the right mix of whatever they’re looking for. That’s the same price as a UC, a public University system that is unlikely to give much financial aid at all, unless you’re a star football player or something like that. So you can go to Cal and be lost in huge classrooms, taught by Teacher’s Aids, or you can go to a small private school where your teachers will know you and your work. For about the same amount of money.

3rd, how glad I am that Maya is attending a Community College for her first 2 years of college. She deserves a private education just as much as the other girl does, but we don’t deserve to be $120k in debt when she graduates. We’ll be taking out loans of some type when she transfers to a 4 year, I’m sure. But cutting that cost in half is well worth it. I do wish she were going to a 4 year right away. But at the same time, I’m glad she’ll be living with us for 2 more years. I’m not really ready for her to fly the coop just yet.