Holidays at our House

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It’s the 6th night of Hanukkah, and we’ve lit the menorah, and the candles are burning low…the Christmas tree is lit, and there are depressing Aimee Mann Christmas songs playing. Just another holiday at our house.

A few years ago, we decided, for fun, to start celebrating Hanukkah. Neither Ted nor I know of any Jewish folks on either side of our families, so this is a pretty secular celebration of a religious holiday, but we kind of felt like since we’re not Christian, and we celebrate Christmas, it would be nice to expose Maya to some of the other traditions of the season, and heck, what’s not to like about latkes and candles and fun? (Click to see a video of Maya singing “Oh Hanukkah”)

I must confess, however, to a small amount of discomfort in this tradition we have started. I’m afraid that Jewish friends might not take kindly to our purely secular celebration of their religious holiday. Does it seem somehow disrespectful to them? Or, as I hope, is it more a case of the more the merrier, let’s expose our children to different cultures and enjoy, and any excuse for a party?

What do you think? Do any of you celebrate a holiday that has no link to your personal culture? Which ones?

16 Comments

  • debra

    It is my personal belief that anything that exposes people, especially young people, to other cultures, beliefs, and points of view is a GREAT thing. Think of all the horrible things that have happened throughout history (or just in 2006) because of prejudice, unfounded hate, and bigotry towards people other than those ‘just like us’.

    As long as you’re respectful, which I’m sure you are, I think it’s a beautiful tradition for your family. I think world religions are one of the most fascinating topics there are and even if you don’t ‘practice’ them, they can teach great lessons.

    That’s my $.02. 🙂

  • Ml

    I believe you should celebrate any holiday of any other culture you want. It’s not that you’re making fun of their celebration, you’re embracing it and wanting to broaden your and your child’s/children’s horizons.

    I think it’s a lovely tradition you’ve started. Enjoy!

  • Wendy

    I think anything that exposes children to other cultures and traditions is wonderful – We never celebrated Christmas growing up and while that is fine, since we are Jewish, I regretted not knowing ANYTHING about what the holiday meant since, well, the rest of the WORLD celebrates it – so I wish I had been exposed to it, even if it was not my religion – so I think what you are doing is wonderful – Happy Hanukkah!

  • Heather

    I think we probably all celebrate holidays outside of our religion – perhaps without knowing it. Even Christmas is not purely a “Christian” holiday – it’s got deep roots in paganism.

    I think it’s good to honour other cultures and I don’t think people would be offended.

  • Py Korry

    I guess we didn’t get the “Memo” from other secular humanists that there’s not only a war on Christmas that we’re supposed to be fighting, but maybe by extention a war on Hanukkah, too? 😉

  • ally bean

    It’s all about intent. I think all holidays have something to offer to anyone who takes the time to learn about them. So if your intention is to learn and share and grow, how can that be insulting? Your idea sounds like a good plan to me.

  • prescott

    Ditto to everyone above. If I’m not mistaken, Hanukkah is a pretty minor Jewish holiday, and not really religious in the sense of celebrating some big significant event (like Easter or Passover), but just an overall spiritual celebration of the longevity of the Jewish people through infinite hardships. And what’s wrong with others acknowledging that?

  • Gina

    I think it’s great, and I have to admit that I didn’t even learn about Hanukkah until I was in my late teens or something, simply because I wasn’t exposed to it and had no Jewish friends.

    So many of our problems in the world come from not understanding other cultures, so I think nothing but good can come of your celebration!

  • Beenzzz

    Hey, that’s a great idea. Z. goes to a private school that is associated with the local Jewish community center. So, for holiday programs they light the menorah and sing Hannukah songs, and Christmas songs too. They also perform Shabbat every Friday. It’s a great school and I think its good for her to learn about different religions.

  • hellomelissa

    i keep threatening to celebrate passover because i grew up with it at a good friend’s home. and i’m distictly not jewish. i wish i was, but i’m not. so, go for it! and throw in a pinch of kwanzaa for good measure.

  • Heidi

    I’ve contemplated honoring “Festivus”, but honestly, Snowflake wouldn’t understand my grievances. I’m a wee bit Irish, but SUPER Irish on St. Pat’s(actually in the ancient days of college, that was).

  • Michael Wells

    Hi sweetie,

    Celebrate whatever you want. Hanukkah is basically a celebration of the victory of the Maccabees, the last victorious Jewish army until modern Isreal, so not really a pacifist thing. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hanukkah) But then Jesus didn’t plan on today’s Santa Claus (nor did saint Claus, an obscure Turkish patron saint of travelers), so holidays sort of take on meanings of their own over time and Hanukka has sort of become a Jewish Christmas.

    I loved the Maya video, thanks for letting us know about it.

    Mozel Tov,

    Dad

  • Kvetch

    Well I thought your idea of exposing Maya to different holidays was a great one – unless you think that like the previous poster here, that Hanukkah is the Jewish Christmas, as it is not, in any way, shape or form. As previously stated, it’s a minor holiday, actually classified as a festival. It celebrates a victory over a bad king, and a miracle (if you go for that stuff) of enough oil for one day lasting for eight days. Gifts have gotten more extravagant in some families through the years, but gifts of gelt (money) or candy were always part of the festival of lights.

    Learning about other cultures is great – I would never celebrate Christmas in my home though, because we are Jewish. Not even secularly would I have any stitch of Christmas around here. But I LOVE partaking of friends traditions and joining them for their celebrations.

    I think you do a great service to Maya exposing her to all this — and I don’t know who Michael Wells is — but please make sure Maya knows Hanukkah is NOT the Jewish Christmas.

    Latka away!!!!!!

  • J

    Kvetch, Thanks for your words…MW is my father, and I think all he meant was that for many Jewish families, Hanukkah has become much more about the gifts than it used to be, perhaps because of all of the pressure of the Christian neighbors and their expensive gifts. He meant no offense, and don’t worry, Maya doesn’t think of Hanukkah as the Jewish Christmas. 🙂

  • Michael Wells

    Thanks Julie, that’s absolutely right. The celebration of Hanukkah, in America at least, has been changed by pressure of the majority culture. It’s by no means religiously a Jewish Christmas, but I’ve seen Jewish friends kids treat it as a gift time. Kvetch, perhaps I stated it badly. What I’ve observed over the years is that the secular parts of religious holidays head off in their own directions in unpredictable ways. Several years ago we were in Singapore in mid-January — a primarily Buddhist city/country, with more Muslims than Christians. There were Christmas decorations and “snow” and toys for sale everywhere, heavy on Santa and almost no Jesus. They absorbed the mall shopping part of Christmas and it had become part of the local commercial culture. What I was trying to express is that in todays multi-cultural world, we can all take part in whatever celebrations we want. In my neighborhood last week, one night we did a Solstice walk with candles and the next we went caroling — Christians, Jews and pagans alike.

    Kvetch has an excellent and important point. As we mix and match all of these holidays, it’s important to not lose their true cultural, historical and religious significance. I hope we can strengthen all of these traditions by celebration, not dilute them into mush.

    Dad