Dreaded Day

The dreaded day came and went this week. Gen’s medical conditions got the better of her, and we decided that we didn’t want to keep fixing one thing to just have another pop up. So we put her to sleep on Monday afternoon. We miss her sweet face SO MUCH. She was such a good girl, and we love her so much, and we’re so sad. But we know that she’s not suffering now, and that making sure she didn’t suffer was our responsibility. Damn it.

I keep thinking, I want my dog back. But when I think that, I don’t mean the dog that paced the house for hours at a time, unable to settle down. Not the dog that couldn’t see and spent her time bonking into things. Not the dog who was losing her fur and had a big bump on her back from injections. Not the dog who was beginning to suffer from seizures. I want the dog back in that picture up there. The dog with the big smile on her face who used to run down the stairs to greet us when we came home. The dog who would lick our toes when we went barefoot. Who would spin around and around and dig up the condo complex dirt when she was excited. The dog who went for long walks with me and slept by our beds. That’s the dog I want back. Goodbye sweet baby girl. We miss you horribly.

(Ted wrote a lovely post, with a nice picture montage that shows what a pretty girl she was, here.)

23 thoughts on “Dreaded Day

  1. Oh Julie, this made me cry. Our relationships with our pets are so pure and uncomplicated compared to the many layers of our human relationships. It’s hard to explain to someone who isn’t in to animals how strong and precious and vital the bond is. I know you and yours are hurting now in a way that many people don’t understand. Just here to say, I have an idea of how big your loss is, how huge the hole in your life feels, and all the joy Gen brought to you just by being herself.

  2. So sorry to hear this, my thoughts are with you. It’s very hard to make that decision, but it must be made.

    Take care guys!

  3. Hi Julie, I’m very sorry for your loss. I’ve had to do the same thing with beloved dogs. Dogs bring so much love and happiness. My boy Vince is eight years old now, and still in his prime. But your experience reminds me that this time is so precious. The smiles when he knows he’s loved, his inquisitive smelling when I come home, his love of his frisbee, and coming to bed with an uneaten rawhide bone last night. To your friend’s comment above, pure and uncomplicated. Pure love.

  4. Oh Julie, I’m so sorry — that awful aching lonesomeness in your heart & gut is just devastating. I think you did the right thing by releasing her from her tired, worn out old body to let her spirit run free in always green fields and sunshine. But for those left behind, it’s an ache that never quite heals.

    I hope I can be as insightful & stalwart as you were when Charlie’s time comes. Because it just isn’t easy, no matter what our heads say.

    Big hugs,
    Auntie Kate

    • Auntie Kate,

      My head knew what it was doing, but my heart protests! And maybe I was stalwart, but even so, it took me a couple of days to be able to write the post. ๐Ÿ™ Sigh.

  5. I’m so sorry Julie. ๐Ÿ™ She was a very good doggie. I love watching this video of her being silly and you laughing. xoxoxo

  6. It’s tough to see her picture and not get emotional, but seeing her smiling face make me think how happy she made us and how her vet said: “Genevieve is the kind of dog who is grateful for every day.”

  7. Oh, I am so, so sorry. The only time dogs ever cause us pain is when they leave us, and it’s only worse knowing it’s the last thing they want to do. But that doesn’t mean it wasn’t time, or that it wasn’t right. (Darn circle of life.) She was a wonderful dog (and a wonderful post writer, too. We always enjoyed that.) I’m so, so sorry.

  8. I’m so so sorry to hear this but you did the right thing by your beautiful girl. I hope I can be as brave as you when the time comes. Your post made me cry and then as I watched the film clip, I was smiling through my tears.

    My heart goes out to you all, it must be such a hard thing to no longer have your wonderful girl by your side.


  9. Oh, my heart goes out to you and Ted and Maya. So sorry Julie. I think Deb’s comment says it best. To me,their lives are just too short and it doesn’t seem fair they can’t be with us longer.

  10. Oh, dear–I’m really, really sorry, Julie.

    Please accept my condolences on the loss of your beloved girl.

    (As my father said when I had to do it, making this difficult decision is a kindness we owe a creature who is dependent on us. You were great parents. You did the right thing, but I’m so sorry she is gone.)


  11. Words cannot comfort the pain i’m sure you and your family are feeling. I lost my beautiful dog of 14 years and i never felt so much hurt and broken hearted. You did the right thing in ending her pain. She had amazing parents who loved her (she looks so loved and happy in the video). Now, she is looking over you with those adorable puppy eyes loving you still.

  12. Pingback: Goodbye Genevieve «

  13. Oh, Julie,

    I’m so sorry for your loss. She was a very GOOD GIRL!!! And I know how much you love her.

    Sending you, Ted and Maya big hugs of comfort and friendship from Texas,


  14. Oh Julie, please accept my condolences, too. She was indeed a beautiful dog–such a colorful coat! Our old boy Ernie is limping more and more, straggling behind on our walks. I know he will never again be the bouncey pup we adopted all those years ago, and try to savor the time I have with him, now.

    When our older dog Vinnie died back in 2005 I wsa surprised that my wife was ready to go out and adopt another so quickly. But we added Edie to the menagerie, and in hindsight it may have been a good thing. Much as the loss of Vinnie was still surprisingly sharp.

    Again, my sympathy for your loss.

  15. Sending so much love to you and your family. One of my best friends also put her dog to sleep this past week. They had been together for 14 years. Sigh…our dear, sweet pets. I just know they are happily at peace all together! xoxoxo

  16. Julie, Very sorry for your loss.
    I stumbled across your blog when I Googled “Bob Hanlon”. Yours is a very fitting tribute.
    I was in Bob’s first class, back in ’71. His grace touched a great many of us.
    Having had many four legged friends, I find this quote comforting:
    “It came to me that every time I lose a dog they take a piece of my heart with them. And every new dog who comes into my life, gifts me with a piece of their heart. If I live long enough, all the components of my heart will be dog, and I will become as generous and loving as they are.”
    Peace – Tim

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