Hi Everyone, this is Genevieve! Guess what I figured out? After all of these years with my pack, eating that stupid kibble they give me, being grateful for every day, I finally decided I had had enough. I just couldn’t take it anymore! I mean, they make all of this delicious smelling shash (J’s note…Gen calls food ‘shash’), and the best I can hope for is to smell it, and once in awhile I get a bite, and one scoop of stupid kibble in my dish. Not fair! So I went on a hunger strike. Oh my goodness, did I scare the bosses! They would coax and beg me to eat. Big boss would hand feed me, which sometimes worked. I felt sorry for him. But then I’d remember my plan, and spit out the kibble. Smart, huh? Then they would put a little bit of chicken juice or milk in my food, to tempt me. I wasn’t falling for it. No way! Stupid kibble. Then they said, “blah blah blah, afraid to change her diet, blah blah blah, sensitive tummy, blah blah blah, carpet cleaner, poop, mess, blah blah.” I’ll tell you, they talked about it a LOT. Whatever. I don’t want that stupid kibble any more! This went on for a few weeks. I would have to give in and eat once in awhile, because I was really hungry! But for the most part, I got good at not eating. Sure, I was tired. I was weak. I didn’t have any energy. HA! That scared them.
And you know what? My hunger strike paid off! Medium boss mixed me up some food that tastes a lot like what they eat! Maybe they’ve finally accepted me as one of the pack! All I can say is, it’s about time! I have a very sensitive nose (we dogs are known for that), and I smell (and taste!) chicken, rice, chicken juice (J’s note, I cooked the rice with low sodium chicken broth), carrots, and cottage cheese in the new food! Medium boss mixes it with my stupid kibble, and you know what? My stupid kibble tastes kind of good with all of that mixed in! The only part I don’t like is that they mix in something bitter tasting at the last minute. It tastes like the milk from Mommy’s last boo boo, which as everyone knows, is not the best milk. Medium boss says something like, “eat the medicine, blah blah blah, no poop in the house, blah blah blah, carpet cleaner, blah blah”. Whatever. I wish I had thought of this YEARS ago! I could have been eating people shash all of this time, if only I had gone on strike sooner! Pay attention, doggy friends! You too can have a home cooked meal, rather than that stupid kibble!
In other news, I’m a baby! Really, I’m the cutest dog that ever was or will be. The only thing cuter than me is me as a puppy. Can you imagine what a cute little ball of fluff I was? Sometimes I like to lie there, napping, and think about how cute I am, and how cute I was as a puppy. Let me tell you, it’s pretty cute, and I have good dreams.
Other news, Medium Boss has started making me wear stupid scarfs around my neck. I’m not sure I like them. I mean, I can’t see them, because it’s still dark here (is it dark where you are?), but I can feel them. She said something like, “blah blah blah, thyroid issue, hair loss, blah blah blah, cover it up, blah blah”. Whatever. Hey, if it makes her happy, I guess it’s OK. Sometimes you have to throw the bosses a bone, you know? Remember that. Those are words of wisdom from my Mommy to me, and I’m passing them on to you.
Talk to you soon I hope! Bye! Remember, no more stupid kibble!