Blonde Jokes

Way back when I was 16, I worked first as a hostess, and then as a waitress, at the local Mr. Steak. I worked there for about 2 years. The first year I was there, the owner had a Christmas party at his house, and there were awards given for the person deemed to be the most this, best that, whatever. Guess who was the only blonde working there? Me. Guess who was voted ‘biggest airhead’? That’s right, me. The blonde. The blonde who was working and going to school and getting decent grades and had plenty of brains AND common sense, thank you very much. That really, really hurt, that my co-workers thought I was an airhead. And ever since then, I cannot stand it when people describe someone stupid or airheaded as being ‘blonde’. Why, oh why, is it OK to make a joke about a woman being blonde, and it means that she is 1. dumber than a brick, and 2. easy to get in the sack. Go ahead, google ‘blonde jokes’, and these are the stereotypes you will find. It’s insulting as hell. I don’t see that my Jewish friends enjoy being called cheap, or that my black friends enjoy being called dumb, or that my fat friends enjoy being called lazy. I don’t see that my religious friends enjoy being considered fanatics, or that my atheist friends enjoy people assuming they have no morals. My muslim friends are not terrorists, thank you very much, and my friends with big boobs are just as smart as my flat chested friends, even though not many people notice the color of their eyes, if you know what I mean. Anyone out there that ENJOYS the stereotypes that are thrust upon you? Probably not.

OK, so, having ranted about that, letting you all know that when I do or say something dumb, it’s ok to tell me that I did or said something dumb, but PLEASE don’t say I’m acting ‘blonde’, I’ll now relate to you my favorite blonde joke. My apologies to my lawyer friends.

A lawyer and a Blonde are seated next to each other on a flight from Los Angeles to New York. The lawyer asks if she would like to play a fun game. The Blonde, tired, just wants to take a nap, so she politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists and explains that the game is easy and a lot of fun. He says, “I ask you a question, and if you don’t know the answer, you pay me five dollars, and vice versa.” Again, she declines and tries to get some sleep. The lawyer, now agitated, says, “Okay, if you don’t know the answer, you pay me $5, and if I don’t know the answer, I will pay you $500.” This catches the Blonde’s attention and, figuring there will be no end to this torment, agrees to the game. The lawyer asks the first question, “What’s the distance from the earth to the moon?” The Blonde doesn’t say a word, reaches into her purse, pulls out a $5.00 bill, and hands it to the lawyer. “Okay,” says the lawyer, “your turn.” She asks, “What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four legs?” The lawyer, puzzled, takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references … no answer. Frustrated, he sends e-mails to all his friends and co-workers but to no avail. After an hour, he wakes the Blonde and hands her $500. The Blonde thanks him and turns back to get some more sleep. The lawyer, who is more than a little miffed, stirs the Blonde and asks, “Well, what’s the answer?” Without a word, the Blonde reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer $5, and goes back to sleep.

15 Comments

  • Ml

    You’re right about the stereotypes. I also don’t like like the male or female bashing either.

    Funny joke! ๐Ÿ™‚

  • Gina

    That’s funny.

    I think the thing about stereotypes is that it is just so much easier for people to pigeonhole someone than to take the time and effort to get to know them as a person.

    And see, I just stereotyped people who make stereotypes.

    Maybe it’s just in our DNA! ๐Ÿ˜‰

  • MsMamma

    I Love that joke. Hilarious. And what Gina said… it’s always the American nature to make fun of what we don’t understand or know.

    ps… I loved Mr. Steak as a kid! Remember their logo? ๐Ÿ˜‰

  • kookiejar

    Hilarious joke!

    I don’t know many blondes, but the ones I do know are as smart as whips (you included, J). And I do know quite a few ditzy brunettes, so people should always beware.

  • Maya's Granny

    The best humor is the unanticipated. Very good one.

    I won “Best Retro” in The Most Humiliating Child contest with our story of not needing to be a virgin to get married. Thought I’d let you know.

  • dew

    Ha ha, that’s a great joke.

    I have very dark hair, but I hate that whole blond stereotype too, and call people on it whenever I hear it. It’s funny how people assume that if you aren’t the one being insulted you won’t mind.

  • Cherry

    I vividly remember the day I learned you didn’t care for negative blonde references. I had made a comment about myself having a blonde moment, and you were so obviously upset. Even though the comment wasn’t directed at you, it hurt you.
    I became much more aware of my stereotyping actions after that day.

  • Beenzzz

    Blonde jokes are kind of funny, though stereotypes suck! What sucks worse is when the someone plays up their stereotype (Britney Spears and Pam Anderson.) It makes you shake your head.

  • Dot

    People are dumb. I have the hardest time believing that someone who knows you would say that you were a dumb blond. Which goes to show you, they obviously didn’t take the time to get to know you at all.

    I actually use the blond thing to my advantage. I’d rather say I’m having a blond moment than actually admit I don’t know something ๐Ÿ˜‰ But I’m stubborn like that.

  • Karen MEG

    How insensitive of your colleagues and not funny at all, especially when you were at that particular age as well. I wonder if it was in some warped way a back-handed compliment in that they figured you could handle it because you were the complete opposite. Or maybe that gives them too much credit. Some people have no clue.
    Although not a blonde, I’ve never liked blonde jokes, perhaps because I’ve found them akin to racial stereotypes etc. as you’ve pointed out. Although I really like the joke you’ve posted – good one.

  • Carol E. Cox

    Britney, Pamela, ANS, Courtney, Lindsay, Marilyn, and 70% of prostitutes in the US are Bleached Brunettes who have assumed the name Blonde as a ‘business’. That’s where the dumb slut reputation comes from and it’s about time they were the ones named, blamed and shamed by the jokes. Go ahead, tell a Dumb Bleached Brunette joke and watch what happens to these subnormal Brunettes when they finally get that they are the joke.