Such Sad News


I woke up to such sad news today, that David Bowie had died from cancer. Generally, I don’t feel anything when celebrities die. Especially since my mom died, I know how much the death of a real-life person you know and love hurts, and what an absolute hole it leaves in your heart. How can the death of a stranger truly matter.

And maybe it doesn’t.

But still, this morning’s news hurt. David Bowie was my first real celebrity crush. I remember when I was about 20, dreaming that he came to the hotel where I worked, and oh, by the way, he was my husband in this dream. I called him my ‘First husband‘ and ‘Maya’s step-dad’.

I think the first Bowie song I loved was ‘Space Oddity’, which could make me cry at almost any moment. So heartbreaking. My brother gave me his Bowie t-shirt with the picture from Changes One. My coworkers at Mr. Steak used to tease me for having a crush on him, saying, “Don’t you realize he’s gay?” As if that mattered in the least. I mean, what were the chances of me ever meeting him, and of him noticing me in any way and taking me away to be his wife? Zero. So I stuck by my guns.

I’ve not always been enamoured with his music. I love so much of it. But sometimes his more artistic works were not really my cup of tea. But sometimes they were.

I’m sad for his wife, Iman. For his children, the youngest who is younger than Maya. I’m sad for his friends. Mostly, I’m just sad that he’s gone.

I don’t know. What else is there to say? I found myself crying a little bit when this morning. Which surprised me, because as I said, why cry over a stranger? But my heart hurts for the loss today of such an artist, and my first husband.

5 thoughts on “Such Sad News

  1. Beautifully written. My condolences on losing your first husband. I feel older knowing that another fragment of my youth is gone. Yesterday was a weird, sad day. My world shifted.

  2. It was such a sudden and sad announcement, wasn’t it? Here in Cleveland, where he got his start in the US, they have lowered the flags to half-staff at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. He made the front page of the Cleveland Plain Dealer, too. His appeal was surprisingly broad even though he was so avant garde and reinvented himself and his music so many times: even my father was a fan, especially of “Space Oddity”, which Dad used to sing AND dance to around the house.

    If you Google “David Bowie Cleveland”, you’ll get some wonderful results to read and watch, and some great photos to look at, too, one of which Bowie himself accepted from the Cleveland photographer as a gift and later hung in his home abroad.

    “The stars look very different today” indeed. We have lost one who shone brightly.

    • Oh Nance, thank you for sharing that article. I’m all choked up reading it. I feel so badly that he’s gone…esp for his wife and kids, the youngest of whom is only 15. So sad.

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