I woke up to such sad news today, that David Bowie had died from cancer. Generally, I don’t feel anything when celebrities die. Especially since my mom died, I know how much the death of a real-life person you know and love hurts, and what an absolute hole it leaves in your heart. How can the death of a stranger truly matter.
And maybe it doesn’t.
But still, this morning’s news hurt. David Bowie was my first real celebrity crush. I remember when I was about 20, dreaming that he came to the hotel where I worked, and oh, by the way, he was my husband in this dream. I called him my ‘First husband‘ and ‘Maya’s step-dad’.
I think the first Bowie song I loved was ‘Space Oddity’, which could make me cry at almost any moment. So heartbreaking. My brother gave me his Bowie t-shirt with the picture from Changes One. My coworkers at Mr. Steak used to tease me for having a crush on him, saying, “Don’t you realize he’s gay?” As if that mattered in the least. I mean, what were the chances of me ever meeting him, and of him noticing me in any way and taking me away to be his wife? Zero. So I stuck by my guns.
I’ve not always been enamoured with his music. I love so much of it. But sometimes his more artistic works were not really my cup of tea. But sometimes they were.
I’m sad for his wife, Iman. For his children, the youngest who is younger than Maya. I’m sad for his friends. Mostly, I’m just sad that he’s gone.
I don’t know. What else is there to say? I found myself crying a little bit when this morning. Which surprised me, because as I said, why cry over a stranger? But my heart hurts for the loss today of such an artist, and my first husband.