In Defense of Average
When did ‘average’ become a bad word? To call your child average is an insult, as would be to call yourself average, your marriage average, your dinner average. From Merriam-Webster, “a level (as of intelligence) typical of a group, class, or series <above the average>” Even the dictionary can’t settle for average, they have to say, “above average”. If average is what most people are, then at some point, we have to admit that most of us are average, and to deny that is to set yourself up for disappointment and failure.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that it’s best to settle in and get totally comfortable and never try to better yourself. Because I’m not. But honestly, I think that most average people do this. Don’t we all try to do our best at work? At school? I’m not talking about extreme hard work, the kind that stresses a person out and makes them crazy. (The kind that a lot of kids go through in high school and college…taking all AP and honors classes, building up their sports and volunteer work, all of that. When my parents were young, you just had to have decent grades or decent test scores to get into Berkeley. Now, you have to have a 4.5 average and tons of extracurricular activities.) I’m talking about trying to better yourself, trying to be a loving person to your family, a good employee at work, doing something to improve your community and help people in need. These are things that most of us do. Most of us lovely, average, people. People who work and pay bills, read books and make dinner. Clean house and go on vacation. Average people. We’re not winning the gold at the Olympics, or buying mansions on quiet lakes in Italy. We’re not geniuses, no matter what we’d like to think, about ourselves and our kids. We’re living our lives, doing our very best. And there’s something kind of beautiful and honorable about that, right? There’s beauty to be found in the average.
10 Comments
Rain Trueax
I think you are right on. There is nothing wrong with being average and for a lot of us to try to be more would just lead to frustration as we end up not satisfied with the best we can do. To accept less is to be lazy and never know how far we can go. Average being a bad word is like moderate also being considered bad. Not to me.
J
Thanks, Rain. I agree wholeheartedly…trying to be more than you’re capable of being is setting yourself up for frustration and anger. Who wants to spend their time that way? No one.
Nance
Well, after the jingoism of “America is The Best Country In The Universe”, average got to be a pejorative term quite some time ago. Now, every kid has to go to college, every kid has to get A’s in everything, every kid gets an award, and the breathless achievement races on and on and on until we’re all worn out from all this Fake Excellence. I’m ready for everyone to hit a Big Reset Button, aren’t you?
I love the comparison Rain Treaux made in her last line with the word “moderate.”
It’s just true that not everyone can be excellent or even very good at all things. So what?
Nice post.
J
Thanks, Nance. I agree, and I think the pressure is too much for kids, and that the ‘breathless achievement’ gives them such a false sense of self. Not all of them can be magnificent. Not all of us can be amazing. That doesn’t mean we can’t all be incredibly important to our friends and family, wonderful and magnificent to those who love us. Figuring out how to communicate this without it being an insult is a great thing.
Ally Bean
“We’re living our lives, doing our very best. And there’s something kind of beautiful and honorable about that, right? There’s beauty to be found in the average.”
I agree. Wholeheartedly. Great post.
J
Thanks Ally. This whole deal bugs the crap out of me, because I think it sets us up for failure and misery, when what we’re doing is enough.
V-Grrrl @ Compost Studios
Amen!
J
Thanks, V-Grrrl. 🙂
Jen
Word. I’m happy to be average.
J
Jen, I’m glad you’re happy to be average. You, and so many people that I know, are busy doing so much in the world. For that to be average is a wonderful thing. For us to recognize that everyone around us is also busy doing so much, is to admit that average is actually pretty good.