Friday Randomness

Diwali Puja
Diwali Puja

Friday morning, and instead of exercising like I should, I’ll write a post. Good thinking, right? So, what’s up in the world of J and her family, and the world at large?

Genevieve is still blind. Not that that’s going to change. We still don’t know if she has Cushing’s or not, and if she turns out to have it, we’re not sure what we want to do about it. Blech.

Last Saturday was Diwali, and after a day in the City that included a trip to the Conservatory of Flowers and some yummy crab melts, we put on our salwar kameez and went out to have a lovely puja with Ted’s parents and brother. It was very lovely, and Ted snapped the quick photo of the offerings, above. Ted’s mom’s curried pumpkin always comes out better than mine, even though she taught me how a few years ago. I noticed something this time that I hadn’t before…”What are these in the pumpkin, ma?” “Mustard”. Oh. I guess we didn’t have mustard seed when she taught me, so it didn’t make it in. Gonna have to find out more about that, n’est pas?

Maya had flu last week, with a fever and body aches mostly. We watched her closely, and it never got bad, thankfully. So there’s the question…was it seasonal flu, or swine flu? I guess it doesn’t matter. We had her immunized against seasonal flu, but that takes time to kick in, and it hadn’t been two weeks yet. We’ll still get her immunized against swine flu, if we can get our hands on the vaccine. I was waffling on this, because I had heard some questionable things about the vaccine, and whether it’s safe or not. I looked into it further, and it seems like the questionable ingredients won’t be in the vaccine we get in the U.S., and that while they may be in the vaccine in Europe and Canada, they’re not considered questionable there, and people have been getting vaccines with these ingredients for years with no side effects. So we’ll see on that one.

I was truly disappointed to read that one of my favorite authors, Milan Kundera, signed the stupid petition asking that Roman Polanski be released from Swiss custody and allowed to return to France, rather than extradited to the United States to face justice. I just don’t understand how people can defend his actions. He raped a 13-year old girl. He plead guilty to a lesser charge, and was sent for evaluation. He was released early, and the judge said he wanted him sent to jail for another 45 days or so, to fill out his sentencing of psychiatric evaluation. Whether he would have then be sent away for the 2 years that the system allowed for the lesser charge (unlawful intercourse), no one knows. (Or at least, I don’t. I keep hearing different things.) The judge in the original case is now dead. But the facts are, he had sex with a 13-year old girl, and he ran from justice when things didn’t go his way, like a true coward, and people are defending him. I don’t understand that at all. How does one defend his actions? Interesting to me that Jack Nicholson didn’t sign that stupid petition, and it was his house where the rape occurred.

This is ‘Fat Talk Free Week‘, a week when people pledge to not speak value judgments based on a person’s weight. No, “You look great…have you lost weight?”, or “She’s too big to be wearing that outfit”. That kind of thing. I wish every week were fat talk free week, actually. I swear, this stuff pops up at the most random times. A bloggy friend of mine had a post where she was talking about the casual behavior and clothing of people in restaurants, and how she wished for a more civilized age. A commenter mentioned, ‘have you noticed how many large people are eating at restaurants lately?’ WTF? Are large people supposed to stay home in shame? Give me a break. What if she had said, ‘have you noticed how many black people are eating at restaurants lately?’ I’m assuming that would have given people pause. Anyway, since I know that most folks won’t click the link above, I’ll copy and paste a bit from it here, about why this is important, and more than just the thoughtless comment I mentioned above, more the casual praise or criticism that is lobbed at us every day based on weight:

I can hear some of the scoffing now; all those little comments might seem like no big deal. But put yourself for a minute in the place of, say, your 10-year-old daughter who’s lingering nearby. Here is what those comments tell her: “You have no right to show your body unless it is perfectly thin” and “Being skinny is what makes you worthy of praise.”

Now, I’m not trying to say that we should advocate for a full-throated embrace of obesity-chic, but when 81 percent of 10-year-olds like your daughter live with the persistent fear of being fat and 51 percent of them feel better about themselves if they are on a diet, we should take a moment and think about what our thinness-obsessed culture is doing to the girls and women we love.

Imagine if the messages these girls regularly received were more like, “Being engaged and confident is what makes you look good” or “Being strong and healthy is what makes you worthy of praise.” It would be a very different world for them.

I feel I should mention the balloon boy, since I wrote about it last week. I don’t have much to say. His parents are turds. There’s talk that the children should be removed from their custody. I’m not sure that’s the best answer. There’s not much more traumatic to a child than being removed from their parents, so if they’re not in danger, if their parents are somewhat decent, they should be allowed to stay. But the parents should have to pay for all of the expenses that were incurred for those helicopters, any damage done to crops and so on due to the search, and they should pay a hefty fine to the F.A.A. for the trouble caused at the Denver Airport. Idiots. And there should be a fine for anyone stupid enough to give these people a reality show in the future. Don’t encourage stupidity!

Tonight we’re going to an early Halloween party. Every year this family puts on a huge bash, and we’ve been going forever. Should be a good time, but we’re pretty lazy about our costumes this year. I’m thinking I’ll just drag out my witch costume from the last two years. Easy enough, right?

Oh, my rib seems to be healing nicely from my fall off the horse. Another week or two and I’ll be back in the saddle. I miss those stupid horses. Sort of.

Maya and I found ourselves at the mall yesterday. Christmas tree up? Check. Wreathes and bows everywhere? Check. Not even Halloween yet? Check.

Happy Friday, everyone. Enjoy your weekend!

11 Comments

    • J

      Jimmy, she’s adjusted, we’ve adjusted, but it’s not fun. And our hearts go out to her, too. She’s a baby. 11 years old, gray around the mouth, stinky, but still, a baby. 😉

  • CG

    Thank you for complimenting the Diwali Pooja, lights and dinner. You are a good daughter- in- law, wife and mom. Your family is blessed to have you around and that goes for me too!

  • Jacki

    Our Pug went blind over the course of a weekend last month…diabetes. He has adjusted well although there truly was a period of time where I was convinced that he might be too stupid to be a blind dog. Anyway now that his sugars are regulated he is able to see light and dark and some movement of shadows which has helped immensely. Sending sweet wishes your way for Genevieve.

  • dadwhowrites

    I feel a lot of sympathy for Genevieve – we’re going through the same slow, sad process with our cats at the moment (thyroids, bladder stones, arthritis…).
    The balloon boy thing was unbelievable. Dreadful thing to do on the part of the parents and how stupid to expect a six year old to follow the script – kids at that age have no capacity to keep a secret.

  • Nance

    J–Regarding the comment left at my blogpost. Sigh. I agree with you that it was unfortunate, and I struggled with myself about what to do when it appeared. As a person who has been every size from a 0 to an 18, and who struggled with her weight from childhood until her mid-forties, my immediate reaction was the same as yours. Having said all of that, however, I was terribly confused by the comment at the same time. The author of the comment is also someone who has repeatedly lamented her own body image on her personal blog, so I wondered at the sentiment behind it. I know that sometimes the written word on the Internet can be a poor representation of the true feeling of the writer, so I thought best to ignore it. I remain hopeful that it wasn’t meant to be as harsh a commentary as it seems.

    • J

      Nance, I’m sure that it wasn’t meant to be as harsh as it seemed. And you’re right, the internet is known for its misunderstandings. I think the first time we ‘met’ I had said something about gift giving to teachers that sounded to you like I didn’t like teachers, when nothing could be further from the truth. The comment struck me, though, as it did you, as an odd one, and one that points out the problem of size acceptance in our society. Not saying that everyone should be a size 20, but if you are a size 20, isn’t your life going to be better if you can not hate yourself for it, and not worry that other people in the restaurant will be judging you?

  • OmbudsBen

    I’m so sorry to hear about Genevieve. As sight isn’t as primary for dogs as it is for us, hopefully she has a lot of time left?

    I was curious about the Polanski case, so we Netflixed “Roman Polanski: Wanted and Desired.” He not only raped her, he gave the 13-yr-old alcohol and pot to get her in the mood. She’s interviewed in the movie. One of the most distressing things to me is how the rules change for the influential and powerful. And yes, it’s perplexing how many Europeans think it’s ok.

  • Linda Atkins

    Re: “Now, I’m not trying to say that we should advocate for a full-throated embrace of obesity-chic …” Guess I’ll have to say it, then: We should advocate … 🙂 (I feel a rantlet coming on; I’m sure everyone here already knows all this. What makes us attractive is how attractive we think we are, not the number on the scale. What makes us healthy is our genes, how much exercise we get, and how much processed food we eat or not, etc. Some large people are entirely healthy. Some small people drop dead years before their time. As long as I’m writing, lately a person or two has commented that I appear to have lost weight. Various gentlemen have been unusually friendly lately, giving me the feeling I must look completely fantastic or something. I was at the doctor today and was weighed. I was wondering what the scale would show–could I have lost 20 pounds without realizing it? 30? I had lost weight, all right: two pounds. People aren’t friendly because I weigh 100, 200, or 300 pounds; they’re friendly for perverse reasons of their own :-), or because I look happy and healthy and engaged in life.)

  • simon

    My 5-year-old daughter is already starting to talk about being “fat” as an undesirable attribute. I’m trying to fight it but she’s obviously getting these messages from a variety of sources, and taking it on board…