The “F” Word….


Warning…this post contains SWEARING
I lived in Fairbanks, Alaska, from the age of 4 until I was 9. It was the early 70’s, and it was much more a frontier society than we have down in the lower 48. I haven’t been back since, so I can’t speak to the modern sensibilities, but I digress.

In Fairbanks, at that time, everyone swore. I mean, EVERYONE. At one point, we lived next door to a church, and it wasn’t unusual to hear people come out and say, “Jesus Christ, it’s 45 Mother-Fucking Degrees Below Zero out here!” Needless to say, my brother and I grew up with what is politely known as ‘potty mouths’. This was a problem when we moved to Stockton, CA, in 1975….people in CA simply did not swear with the same degree of abandon as Alaskans did…at least not the 10 year olds.

So, one day, a boy at school was pestering the heck out of my brother, and my brother said something akin to, “Leave me alone, Fucker”. The boy said, “Uuuummmmmm, YOU SAID THE ‘F’ WORD!!!”, to which my honestly confused brother replied, “What the Fuck’s the ‘F’ word?”

The principal soon found out about this, and had to make a call to my mother at her office.

Principal: “Mrs. Ward? This is Principal X at JFK Elementary. We have to talk.”
Mom: “What seems to be the problem, Principal X?”
Principal: “Well, today on the playground, Richard said the ‘F’ word.”
Mom, honestly confused: “What the Fuck’s the ‘F’ word?”