Mom

  • Land Mines

    This morning I woke up from a disturbing dream. I was sitting at an outdoor cafe, and my friend Katie, along with some family and friends, walked past on the sidewalk, pretending that they didn’t know me. I caught up with them, and asked one of the friends what was wrong, why was Katie mad at me? “Because you didn’t bring a gift to her funeral.” Oh. Rats. I should have done that. Wait, I DID bring a gift…I brought a framed photo of Katie and Janet and me. Perhaps my card with the gift had gone missing. I was so sad to have Katie mad at me. Later, her…

  • Mother’s Day

    Mother’s Day turns bittersweet when your mother dies. A day to celebrate her when she is not here, it is difficult. I miss my mom every day. When I had Maya and became a mother, I felt a different bond with my mom than I had had before. I understood her more. She gave me such grace and understanding, laughed with me, gave me guidance. She was proud of the mother that I became. I don’t think there is anyone in your life that will love you as unconditionally as your parents, with the possible exception of your child or your dog. I am very thankful to have had the…

  • Meme Monday – Convenience Food Edition

    My mom was big on raising us to be self sufficient. I think it was her number one priority as a parent. Perhaps because she was 6 when her father died, and her family was thrown into chaos. My Grandma married my Grandfather just before graduating from High School, had my mom a year later, and my uncle 5 years after that. She was in no way prepared to support a family. She ended up losing her children (temporarily, thankfully), my mother to a convent, my uncle to a foster home. When she married my Grandpa, she got her children back. But my mom had learned a lesson, to make…

  • Grieving with Flowers

    Today is my Mom’s birthday. She would have been 76 years old. I was thinking about her, and remembering how much she loved fuchsias. So I bought one, hoping that I can keep it alive. They do not do well in our micro-climate. It’s too hot in summer, too cold in winter. They do well on the other side of the Oakland hills, in Berkeley, Oakland, and especially San Francisco, where there are lovely fuchsias in Golden Gate Park. My mom would buy them and hang them indoors, but I’m going to try, and am putting mine outside. It’s in the shadiest part of our yard, where they will not…

  • Catching Up

    It’s been a busy time, since last I stopped by here. The entire month of December is gone, and we’re a week into a New Year. So what’s going on? I went to Portland for a long weekend in early December. It was my step-mom’s 70th birthday, and I went up to help her celebrate. Ted didn’t come with me, mostly because of his cat allergies, which means he can’t come inside (or at least not for long) most of the houses for our family. That can work fine in summer, we sleep at a hotel or house sit for neighbors, and we eat dinner in my parents’ back yard.…

  • Happy Birthday to Me!

    Today is my birthday!  This is the last year of my 40s, and next year I’ll be 50, which seems so much older than I feel.  Then again, with the arthritis that’s been plaguing me, I am feeling a lot older than I did 6 months ago.  Oh well, I’m treating myself to a prednisone, which should help somewhat and allow me to have energy for the things I want to do today.  Which include: Going to breakfast with Ted and Maya.  We’re going to a place in Pleasanton that is known for its omelets.  I love eggs, so this seems like a great idea to me. Going to San…

  • Friday Randomness (belated…)

    Isn’t that a cute Graduation Invite, for a proud parent to send out to invite her friends and family to show off her daughter, and celebrate said daughter’s accomplishment in school? Yes, it is. See how cute, the picture of her Kindergarten graduation? Her official Senior photo (in my great aunt’s pearls), her other, casual Senior photos? Sigh. The thing is, Maya doesn’t want a graduation party. She doesn’t want to hang out with a bunch of Ted and my friends, feeling self-conscious because everyone is looking at her. She and her friends will have been partying at the ‘All Knighter’ (They’re the Knights), and she’d rather go from party…

  • Air Pollution Hits Home

    I was looking at the news today and one article in particular made me sad, and for some reason I decided to bring that sadness here. Bad idea, probably. Here’s the article. It is about the 7 million people every year who die from air pollution, 1/2 of whom die from complications of indoor pollution. “One of the main risks of pollution is that tiny particles can get deep into the lungs, causing irritation. Scientists also suspect air pollution may be to blame for inflammation in the heart, leading to chronic problems or a heart attack.” Indoor pollution comes from coal and wood-burning stoves, leaky furnaces, etc. It’s that leaky…

  • 5 Years

    Today is the 5 year anniversary of the day my mom died.  I still miss her horribly, and I’m still pissed off sometimes that she had to go and die on me, but it’s easier than it was.  More of a dull ache, not so sharp and jagged.  She was a real character, boisterous and loud at times, always with an opinion on almost anything.  She loved her kids to distraction.  She was my friends’ favorite mom, because she would listen to them, and it was obvious to them that she genuinely liked them and cared about their problems, their hopes, and dreams.  She was completely besotted by Maya, wrote…

  • A Tale of Two Nurses

    I’ve been fortunate enough in my own life thus far that I have seldom needed the help of a nurse. Not that nurses are bad, but often you find them in hospitals, and I’m fortunate to have only been in hospital myself when I had Maya. I was reminded of two nurse stories by two different comments on Facebook, by two friends who do not know each other, neither of whom I’ve met in real life. One is a bloggy friend of mine, who commented that Karma is real, and we need just wait for it to catch up with us. The other is Kelli, who was an online friend…

  • Revenge

    There’s something about grandchildren, where they exact revenge upon the parents, and the grandparents sit back and laugh.  When I was young, I did this or that or the other thing to my mom, which surely drove her crazy.  She survived whatever it was, but then, when Maya came along and did to those same things to me, and drove me nuts, HA!  My mom was so happy.  Grandchildren are the best revenge, right? What I didn’t know before, was that children can also be some kind of revenge exacted upon your grandparents as well.  (See how I skipped an entire generation there?  Crazy, huh?)  Way back when I was…

  • Under the Table

    No, not drinking someone under the table. Napping under the table. When I was a kid, I loved to nap. I still love to nap. Now, my favorite napping place is on my sofa with my cozy napping blanket, or maybe on my bed. But when I was a kid, I loved to nap under things. Especially under tables. It felt so cozy, like a little cave, and if there were a party going on, I could hear the adults laughing and talking, and just soak it up until I dozed off. I know, I’m weird. I once fell asleep under a piano on a river boat*, and didn’t wake…

  • Pomegranate Love

    I adore pomegranates, but truth be told, I seldom buy them. They’re expensive, $2.50 or more each, and they’re a lot of work. While I’m at the store I might think, “Sure, I’ll de-seed it, and we can snack on the seeds, or I can put them in a salad, or whatever…” But then, the expensive fruit ends up just sitting there, not getting eaten, because none of us obtain the wherewithal to deal with them. Until now. On Saturday, Ted and I went into San Francisco in search of some specific walnuts to make a walnut pie for Thanksgiving (Franquette, which are rumored to have the best walnut flavor)…