Have you seen the beautiful tribute to my first husband, David Bowie, at the BRIT awards? This is the entire thing, I think, including a tribute by Annie Lennox, a tribute by Gary Oldmam, and a song by Lorde, backed up by performers who had worked with Bowie in the past. I’ll confess, Lorde’s song brought me to tears. I miss David Bowie being alive in the world. It was a better place with him here. Coming so soon after the Emmy awards, which included a tribute by Lady Gaga, of course invites comparison. I’ll chime in and say that Gaga’s tribute left me feeling cold, didn’t move me at all. Hers was an over the top performance, with her dressed to honor the glam rock Bowie from the 70s. She did a fine job, but tried to squeeze in too many songs, and it sounded like she was trying to pitch her voice to match his. Lorde instead did a straight up version of ‘Life on Mars?’ that was gorgeous and simple. The video above is the whole BRIT tribute. If you want to see just Lorde’s performance, it starts about 9 minutes in.
Speaking of Gaga, I read today that Joe Biden is going to introduce her at the Academy Awards on Sunday, where she will perform her Oscar nominated song about rape and sexual assult. This comes in the wake of a court decision this week that Kesha, who was (allegedly) sexually assaulted by her producer, Dr. Luke, will not be released from her contract with Sony. Kesha says she wants to break all ties with Luke, but Sony says they are unable to do so, because the contract belongs to Dr. Luke’s company, which has a deal with Sony. What a mess. This is just an injunction, however, and the actual trial hasn’t started yet. So we’ll see whether she will be contractually required to create 4 more albums with her attacker. I don’t know more about the case, but I’m glad it’s getting attention. Sexual assult is hard to prove, and so often the blame is put on the victim. We need to change that mentality.
How’s the weather where you are? It’s stupidly gorgeous here, 70 degrees outside right now. We’ve had a very dry February, though not as dry as recent years. January was pretty wet, which was good, unless you live on a cliff in Pacifica. But February is prime rainy season. It’s not unheard of in an ‘el nino’ year for us to have a dry spell, so I’m hoping still for a wet March and maybe even April. After that it pretty much dries up around here. What we need are winter storms to drop a lot of moisture, and we’re just not getting that right now. Ugh.
Did you watch ‘Freaks and Geeks‘ when it was on back in ’99-2000? We did, though I think we missed it first run and watched in reruns. The entire series (only 18 episodes) is available now on Netflix. If you came of age in the early 80s, you should give yourself up to a good binge and watch the entire thing. We just finished the other night, and it really held up well.
I thought the series finale of Downton Abbey was this coming Sunday, but maybe they didn’t want to go up against the Academy Awards. It’s next week, March 6th. We have the DVD, so we’ve watched already. Clearly I’m not evil and I won’t spoil anything for you, but I will say I think they did a really nice job with it.
Do you like Spaghetti and Meatballs? We do. We’re especially fond of the recipe in my Alice Waters cookbook. It’s fairly involved, though, and usually Ted makes the meatballs while I make the sauce and it’s a real team effort weekend type meal. So I was happy the other day to see that Smitten Kitchen had an everyday meatball recipe. And instead of serving it with pasta, she said maybe you might want to have it with garlic toast, as sort of an open face meatball sub. So that’s exactly what we did, and gosh it was good. I think I would have liked the sauce portion to be a bit more complex, maybe some onions or carrots or something in there, but for a quick sauce, it was quite good. Happily, there are leftovers on the menu tonight.
Lastly in this rambling post, for some reason last night I was thinking about these TV dinners, Libbyland, we sometimes got when I was a kid, in Alaska. They were made and marketed to kids, so there was a game or a puzzle or something on the box that you could occupy yourself with, there was a packet of Nestle Quick that you could mix with milk and have chocolate milk (maybe they even had strawberry milk with some meals, I’m not sure.) TV dinners back then were cooked in the oven, and these for some reason often came with chocolate pudding, so that was hot. Strange. The food was definitely geared towards kids tastes, and was fairly gross. But boy, I loved those things. I think we would get those if my mom was going on a date, so not a nightly thing by any means.
In line with catching you up a bit, life here has been good, not crazy, not too different than it was before. We’ve had another month with dog-boy, Mulder, and he’s settling in so very well. We all adore him so much. He’s playful and loving and wonderful. He’s learning a bit of manners, learning to walk better on a leash, etc. He doesn’t jump on the furniture as much anymore. He doesn’t bark nearly as much anymore. He’s only vomited twice. He did wake us up barking Christmas Eve morning, maybe 1 A.M. Not good. But it turned out he was barking at the police officers who were here, because our neighbor’s house had been broken into. He didn’t bark during the actual burglery, but based on the layout of our houses, I doubt he even heard it. So he’s a good guard dog. And so darned darling.
Sometimes Ted and I get each other similar gifts, without knowing that would happen. One year it was cozy bathrobes. This year it was art for our walls, at least sort of. I say sort of, because while he bought me a photograph/print to frame and hang, I bought him a set of frames to hang record albums. This is big for us, because we have such different taste in art, we have a lot of trouble finding anything to hang on our walls. He likes abstract art, geometrical with contrasting colors. I like flowers and more girly type things. I have a theory that he likes the contrasting colors because he’s somewhat color blind, and I like flowers and portraits because I’m girly. See the beautiful picture of San Francisco and the cloudy sky up there? That’s the picture he bought me. I love it. I think it’s contrasting enough for him and pretty enough for me, is why it works. It was taken by a friend of his, who does great work you can find here, if you’re so inclined.
I love Jacques Pepin and enjoy watching his cooking shows on PBS. He has a new one now, ‘Heart and Soul’ that I’m enjoying enough that Ted gave me the cookbook for Christmas. Yay! One of the recipes was this one, which is a deconstructed sushi. I decided to give it a try the other day, and it was delishious. Our favorite grocery store has a sushi counter (don’t they all?) and they sell the spicy sauce, wasabi, and pickled ginger, so I bought those to add. It was really good, but I think the trout roe that I bought was a bit too fishy for me, so maybe I’d save myself a bit of money and not use that next time. But overall it was good.
What else…well, I turned 50. Ted threw me a lovely party with family and friends, and we feasted on delicious lamb curry, curried pumpkin, and roti. So so so good. My friend Marilee was in Canada and couldn’t make it to my party, but she sent me the most gorgeous bouquet of flowers. I don’t think I’ve ever seen orchids this way before, but aren’t they amazing? I love them. Here we are a week later, and they’re still stunning.
What else…We’re enjoying Downton Abbey, and I’m looking forward to getting the DVD in a couple of weeks so we can forge ahead and binge watch. It’s how I started watching D.A., and really my preferred method.
We’ll see if I end up posting here more than I did last year. I certainly HOPE that I do, but I’m not going to make it a resolution or anything like that. Happy New Year, everyone.
I’ve spoken here before about Thanksgiving, about how as a child, it was my least favorite holiday of the year. (I should clarify that I am only talking about the years when I was in California…I don’t remember much about Thanksgiving in Alaska, but I’m sure it was lovely and fine.) My entire family (on my mom’s side) is obsessed with weight. My grandmother decided at a young age that she was NOT going to be fat like her parents and aunts, and pretty much has been on a diet ever since. To the point where now, at age 92 and weighing in at about 88 lbs, she will still make comments like, “Well, since I ate that brownie, I’ll have to starve myself tomorrow.” It’s digusting. She raised her kids to be obsessed with weight as well, putting my mom on a diet when she was about 10. It backfired, and the combination of her obsession and family genetics put all of her children into the overweight/obese category, though my aunt Colleen was much thinner than my mom or my uncle.
As might be expected, the conversation at family gatherings was often about dieting, about what one should and should not eat, what works and what doesn’t, on and on and on. And all the while, of course, there’s turkey and stuffing and potatoes and candied yams and gravy and pie and fruit salad and cranberry sauce and rolls. Please eat, enjoy…with an undertone of, you wouldn’t be so big if you didn’t enjoy quite so much. Ugh. Add to that the chain smoking by both of my grandparents, and throw in a big helping of my grandpa’s acid tongue and sarchasm, and you get the idea. No family gatherings were particularly wonderful or happy, but Thanksgiving seemed to me to be about food food food, and with this family, that was not a good thing. Plus most of the food wasn’t good. Turkey was dried out, mashed potatoes from a box, brown gravy from a packet, cranberry sauce from a can, yams from a can. Almost nothing was fresh.
I did always like the fruit salad and the cranberry sauce, canned though it was. Actually, I liked the mashed potatoes and gravy from a box/packet, if truth be told. It wasn’t until I was older and tried these things made from scratch that I realized that my grandparents’ cooking was like living in Plato’s cave, eating shadow versions of dishes, and there was a real world out there with delicious versionis of these same foods.
I remember the first time I tried cranberry sauce that wasn’t canned. It was 1993, and Ted and I were newly married. My mom had moved to Alaska that summer, though Richard and his wife had not moved up there yet, and were still in California. Richard and Kathy were married the Saturday after Thanksgiving, and my mom had flown down for the wedding. Generally we have Thanksgiving at Ted’s parents house, but we decided that year to have Thanksgiving at our apartment in San Francisco. Kathy asked what she could bring, and I don’t remember if she brought pie or something else, but I do remember that she brought cranberry sauce. It was a revelation. SO good. Not overly sweet. Fresh tasting. I begged her for her recipe, and she looked at me, stunned. “It’s on the back of the bag”, she said. “1 cup water, 1 cup sugar, cranberries….cook over medium heat until the cranberries pop. Chill. That’s it.” I think she felt that day about the same as she did when she told Richard they were going to make mashed potatoes, and he grabbed the box of powdered potatoes, while she grabbed fresh potatoes from the produce aisle.
Ever since that year, I’ve made this version of cranberry sauce, with a few exceptions. One year I tried a savory version, which I did not care for. One year I added a pinch of salt, which was fine but not really any different. This year, for Canadian Thanksgiving in October, I tried a new recipe. I don’t know what motivated me to do so, but I did. It’s very similar to the one on the cranberry bag, but has less liquid. You start out over low heat with the sugar, cranberries, and only 2 tblsp of water instead of a cup. When the sugar dissolves, you have plenty of liquid, so then you turn up the heat to medium and cook until the cranberries pop. I found the recipe on Food Network, and they added a strip of orange peel, which I don’t fancy. Some commenters used 2 tblsp OJ instead of water. Result? A lovely cranberry sauce! Not adding as much water gives you more concentrated cranberry flavor. Also, I used a bit less than a cup of sugar. Maybe more than 3/4 of a cup, I’m not exactly sure. Delicious. So this is the cranberry sauce recipe that I’m making for today’s Thanksgiving feast.
I’ll be thinking of Kathy, and thanking her for introducing me to fresh cranberry sauce. I’ll be thinking of my mom and all of the years when she would come to California for a month, and Thanksgiving was during that time and she would spend a week with us. I wish we were able to do that this year. I’ll be thinking of my grandma and how much I love her, even if a visit with her means coming home smelling like cigarettes. I’ll be thinking of my grandpa and how much I loved him, even if he was a mean old man. I’ll be enjoying a lovely day of delicious, freshly made food, laughter, music, wine, and fun with our new dog, at Ted’s parents house. I do have a lot to be thankful for. (I considered changing that to the more gramattically correct, “I do have much for which to be thankful” but I don’t like it, so I didn’t.)
If you’ve not tried fresh cranberry sauce, or if you have only tried the version with 1 whole cup of water, give this one a try. It’s delicious.
12 0z cranberries (fresh or frozen)
3/4 cup sugar
2 tblsp water or orange juice
1 strip orange or lemon zest, optional
Put all ingredients into a saucepan. Cook over low heat, stirring occasionally, until sugar dissolves and the cranberries are soft, about 10 minutes. Increase the heat to medium and cook until the cranberries burst, about 12 minutes.
Yesterday found the three of us going into the City. For Ted, it was a work day, so we dropped him off a few blocks from his office, and then we went to have some fun. We met up with our friends, Marilee and Paul. Marilee is my dear friend, whom I met in Latin class while studying at San Francisco State back in the early 90s. Paul is her wonderful husband, who she met on an archilogical dig in Greece. We went to b. Patisserie on California Street, and enjoyed kouign-amann, the lovely pastry that you see above. I had never heard of kouign-amann, but it is similar to a croissant, though sweeter and a bit crisper. Delicious. The picture above I took from the Wikipedia page on kouign-amann, though it was taken at this same little restaurant. We spent a lovely hour or so there, catching up and enjoying our coffee and sweets. It was perfect.
Then Maya and I drove to Grace Cathedral, which is actually only 2 blocks from Marilee and Paul’s house, and they walked back from the restaurant, but the arthritis in my feet would not have allowed such a journey. It’s almost 2 miles (from the restaurant to GC), which my feet can do, but I would have suffered the rest of the day for it, which did not interest me. Also, pretty steep hills. Anyway, Maya is taking a class in Art History that she is really enjoying, and one of her assignments was to go to Grace Cathedral, it being the closest Gothic Cathedral to us. Paris would have been better perhaps, but much more expensive.
I’ve been to Grace Cathedral once before. Another dear friend of mine, Janet, was married in one of the chapels there, way back when Maya was a baby. I did notice how grand and beautiful it was at that time, but I was also busy being a bridesmaid and doing bridesmaid things, so this time I had more time to look around. The architecture, the pointed arches, the art on the walls, the gloreous stained glass. It was wonderful. We spent about an hour and a half there, really trying to get a good feel of the place. If I were religious, and if I lived in the neighborhood, I think I’d stop by from time to time. Heck, even if I just lived in the neighborhood. Really beautiful.
We were intrigued by the frescos on the walls, which depicted the history of California and of the Church. This one depicts the fire of 1906 that destroyed the old Grace Church, the predecessor to the current Cathedral. After the earthquake and fire, the Crocker family, which had had a mansion at this location which burned to the ground, they donated the land so the Cathedral could be built.
I considered the labyrinth inside the Cathedral, and started to walk it, but found my mind wasn’t in the right place for it. Perhaps it was the $2.75 per 15 minutes I was paying to park at the garage across the street, perhaps it was the beautiful architecture and art surrounding me, that seemed a better use of such expensive time. It is supposed to be very calming, and to help one spiritually. You can read more about it, if you’re interested.
We took a moment to stop in the Interfaith Aids Memorial chapel of the church, to remember the friends I had who died from Aids, back before the current medicines that are allowing people to live so much longer with the disease. Two of my coworkers from my hotel days, Damon and Shelby, both died horrible deaths. Ugh. It was a long time ago, and it was nice to reflect on their lives.
From there, we drove over to Nordstrom, so Maya could get her leather boots shined. She had been playing soccer in them with some kids at her work (She works in the after school care at her old elemtary school), and the boots were pretty dirty. That task accomplished, we shopped a bit, then voila, Ted’s work day was over. So we went to pick him up, and then we went to dinner.
We went to the Clement Street Bar and Grill, a sentimental favorite. My friend Janet first took me there, I think, or at least suggested it to me when I first moved to SF in 1987, I don’t remember which. It’s where I had dinner with my parents that same fall, the first day I had ever met my dad. It’s where Ted and I, with some friends, celebrated our graduation from college in 1990. It’s basic California cuisine. I don’t think the menu has changed much over the years, but that’s OK. Ted had a delicious steak, I had lovely crab cakes, and Maya had a goat cheese salad.
It was a lovely day, but by the time we got home at a little after 9, we were tuckered out, and ready for bed.
Today is my birthday! This is the last year of my 40s, and next year I’ll be 50, which seems so much older than I feel. Then again, with the arthritis that’s been plaguing me, I am feeling a lot older than I did 6 months ago. Oh well, I’m treating myself to a prednisone, which should help somewhat and allow me to have energy for the things I want to do today. Which include:
- Going to breakfast with Ted and Maya. We’re going to a place in Pleasanton that is known for its omelets. I love eggs, so this seems like a great idea to me.
- Going to San Francisco, to the Yerba Buena Center for the arts. I thought of going to the Legion of Honor or the DeYoung, but neither of them have exhibits I really want to see right now, and we’ve been so many times…so we’ll go somewhere new for a change. Fun!
- Shoe shopping! A DSW opened in our neighborhood a few months ago, and we’ve not yet gone. I’m not sure what I’ll find, but hopefully there will be something interesting or comfy or pretty (or all three, how would that be?)
- Nice dinner. Ted’s making duck, per my request. We’ve never cooked duck at home, so this will be a treat and an adventure.
- We may or may not stay up until midnight to ring in the New Year. It’s rarely my favorite thing to do…I generally like sleep more, but who knows? Could happen.
I’m looking forward to my birthday gifts, which are mainly in the form of delayed gratification this year. My brother got me Season 5 of Downton Abbey on DVD (can’t wait!), but that isn’t released until near the end of January. Ted got me the annotated biography of Laura Ingalls Wilder, which is on back order and I’m not sure when it will come. My parents sent me money, which I am going to use to go to the hair salon. That won’t be as long of a wait, I just need to make an appointment. I got a gift certificate for a massage for Christmas, which I haven’t used yet. I haven’t decided WHEN I want to use it, yet. Maybe on a warmish day, as the spa is connected to a gym, and they have a nice outdoor pool. The shoes, should I find them, the breakfast, the day with my family, the duck, those are all no-wait treats, and I know that I’ll enjoy them mightily. One nice thing about a New Year’s Eve birthday is that I always (at least since I left hotel work) have the next day off. So that will be nice. Oh, and Maya has a job now, which means that she has spending money, and bought me very nice Christmas gifts, and there’s something under the tree from her for my birthday, which I look forward to opening. (A birthday near Christmas often means birthday gifts under the Christmas tree!)
There’s something about birthdays that tends to make one reflect a bit, and a birthday on the last day of the year likely enforces this proclivity. So I’m reflecting today on all of the things I am thankful for…my beloved husband and daughter, my family, my friends, my home, my job, my health. I feel so fortunate to have so much.
I miss my mom every day. I miss her on Mother’s Day, her birthday, and the anniversary of her death (which sometimes falls on Father’s Day), more than ordinary days. But the day I miss her most is my birthday. I’m not sure why. Perhaps because of everyone on Earth, she knew me the longest. We were together before I was born. She knew me for all of my childhood, my ups and downs, successes and failures. I’ve lived with Ted now longer than I lived with my mom, which is a crazy thought. So likely he knows me more than she did, or at least, the adult me. But there’s something about that mother/child relationship that is unique. I miss her uniquely.
Happy Thanksgiving to my Canadian friends! Our Friends to the North celebrate Thanksgiving in much the same way we in the U.S. do. Get together with family, eat some turkey, stuffing, sides, maybe a pumpkin pie. Very nice. My loyal readers will remember that my darling husband, Ted, was born in Canada, and has citizenship there, though he’s not claimed it in any way at this point. Because we are a family that enjoys celebrating life when we can, we like to have a Thanksgiving feast in October, just us, and then again in November, with Ted’s family (my parents came to California last year and joined in, which was wonderful). So I spent the day cleaning and shopping and cooking. Set the table with our wedding china, crystal, and silver. I vowed years ago to start using it more often, but when I said those words, I lied them. (My little homage to Dr. Seuss there…anyone know which story?) So we haven’t broken out the good stuff all together in years. You know what? It was really nice. The table looked beautiful, the food was delicious (even if I do use Stove Top stuffing rather than making my own), and we had a really nice evening.
Here’s the menu:
Turkey and Stuffing for Two (I doubled the recipe)*
- Sweet Potato Pudding
- Cranberry Sauce**
- Crescent Rolls (from the tube)
- Spinach Salad with pomegranate seeds, avocado, Granny Smith apples, and mandarin oranges, with Julie’s OJ and honey dressing.
- Dessert – a trio of tiny treats, which I purchased at the bakery. Fruit tart, petit fours, and cheesecake brownies.
We had flowers and candles and wine. It was lovely. Generally, we have Canadian Thanksgiving dinner on Monday evening, but this year it made sense to do it on Sunday, which appears to be more authentic anyway. So yay us! It was a little strange, though, as it got up to be almost 90 today, and the talk is about the Giants and their World Series dreams.
It’s Sunday evening as I write this. The Giants just lost game 2, but it’s best 4 out of 7, and it’s currently 1 game each, so don’t give up yet. (I pretend to care, when one of our local teams get this far. Truly, of course, why would I care? The players don’t know me or care about my victories and losses, so whatever.) Ted’s celebrating Thanksgiving by watching “The Walking Dead”. Ugh. I think I’ll read my book, this is far too gory for me.
Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!
* The formatting here is bugging the crap out of me. I’ve fixed this list 3 times, and it keeps getting wonky. I’m going to have to ask you to just ignore how wrong the spacing is on the bullets here, if indeed they are rendering strangely on your screen. For me it’s fine once, then a mess again.
** I had a bit of trouble with my cranberry sauce. It’s early in the year for fresh cranberries, but I found frozen. I didn’t have time to thaw them before boiling with sugar and water. I don’t know if I didn’t boil them long enough or what, but after a couple of hours, they still hadn’t jelled. I read online to add a little pectin, which I didn’t have. I remember reading that apples have pectin, and I’ve made strawberry jam with strawberries, sugar, and apples, so I diced up about 1/3 of a Granny Smith apple and threw that in, cooked for maybe 8 minutes, and then let it cool. I had to put it in the freezer to get it cool in time for dinner, but it worked. Whew. Thanksgiving is NOT Thanksgiving without cranberry sauce.
21 years ago today, I married the love of my life, my best friend, my partner in crime. As with any marriage, we’ve had times that were good and times that were more difficult, but never once have I regretted the choice we made, to marry our fortunes together.
21 years. Our marriage is now old enough to drink. I keep telling people that, and no one thinks it’s funny but me. Oh well.
Our coffee table has a glass top, and drawers inside that can display treasures. We have books in both drawers. One side is Jefferson’s Letters, and is open to a piece titled, Bastille Day. We have a fondness for Bastille Day, as we were in Paris on our honeymoon on Bastille Day in 1993. The other side is Essays, Poems, Addresses, by Ralph Waldo Emerson. The book is open to this poem, Give All to Love. The book shares the drawer with a single rose from my wedding bouquet.
Give All To Love
Give all to love;
Obey thy heart;
Friends, kindred, days,
Estate, good fame,
Plans, credit, and the muse;
‘Tis a brave master,
Let it have scope,
Follow it utterly,
Hope beyond hope;
High and more high,
It dives into noon,
With wing unspent,
But ’tis a god,
Knows its own path,
And the outlets of the sky.
‘Tis not for the mean,
It requireth courage stout,
Souls above doubt,
Such ’twill reward,
They shall return
More than they were,
And ever ascending.
Leave all for love;—
Yet, hear me, yet,
One word more thy heart behoved,
One pulse more of firm endeavor,
Keep thee to-day,
To-morrow, for ever,
Free as an Arab
Of thy beloved.
Cling with life to the maid;
But when the surprise,
Vague shadow of surmise,
Flits across her bosom young
Of a joy apart from thee,
Free be she, fancy-free,
Do not thou detain a hem,
Nor the palest rose she flung
From her summer diadem.
Though thou loved her as thyself,
As a self of purer clay,
Tho’ her parting dims the day,
Stealing grace from all alive,
When half-gods go,
The gods arrive.
The other night was awards night at Maya’s high school, where the Seniors with awards of one kind or another are recognized before their families and their peers. The kids who are members of CSF (California Scholarship Federation), the kids who have received special honors from the school or district, the kids who have received outside scholarships, the kids with athletic honors. All are honored. We knew what some of Maya’s honors would be, but there was one (The Walnut Creek Women’s Scholarship) that we did not know about ahead of time. We knew she had applied…it was the scholarship I mentioned in an earlier post. So we’re sitting there, listening to all of the scholarship awards, and they came to this one. They said something like (I got excited, so I don’t remember exact words), “This award, we received many applicants. But when it came time to choose, we were unanimous. The winner has been a girl scout for 10 years. She has an accomplished GPA and academic record. She has volunteered for…and then she went on to list the many volunteer activities in which she has been involved. I imagine it’s kind of like being at the Oscars with your child, when they win an award. We were SO happy, so excited, and then they called her name! (of course they mispronounced it. She is Maya, but we pronounce it “May-Uh”, not “My-Uh” Who knows that? No one but friends and family.
Do you know what this means? It means that between the two scholarships she has received, her first year of college is paid for. That, my friends, is an amazing feeling. In this day and age, when costs have gone up SO MUCH, and we have saved so little. And it was so wonderful to see her receive the award, to go in not knowing, and then to come out knowing. Wonderful. I’m so proud of my hard working daughter.
And no, we have no pictures. We were pretty far back, and pictures we took came out blurry. There were official pictures taken later, which I’m sure we will have the opportunity to purchase later. We’ll see how that comes out.
Next week is graduation. I’m so looking forward to that. I know it’s a boring evening, until you hear your own loved one’s name called. But when it is your own loved one, your child, it’s suddenly not so boring to hear the speeches and the other kids’ names. At least I hope that’s the case.
Isn’t that a cute Graduation Invite, for a proud parent to send out to invite her friends and family to show off her daughter, and celebrate said daughter’s accomplishment in school? Yes, it is. See how cute, the picture of her Kindergarten graduation? Her official Senior photo (in my great aunt’s pearls), her other, casual Senior photos? Sigh. The thing is, Maya doesn’t want a graduation party. She doesn’t want to hang out with a bunch of Ted and my friends, feeling self-conscious because everyone is looking at her. She and her friends will have been partying at the ‘All Knighter’ (They’re the Knights), and she’d rather go from party to party at her friend’s houses. I don’t blame her. But still, I’m a little disappointed. I have attended parties for several of my friends’ kids, and I enjoyed them. I enjoyed admiring the graduating senior, hearing about their plans going forward, all of that. I want my friends to enjoy that coming to see my child. So here I am, letting it go. LETTING IT GO. It’s her graduation, not mine. I’ll have a party later in the summer with my friends, and we will have a lovely time. They will admire my child, not because it is her graduation, but because they love her, and they love me. So there.
Friday afternoon, our front door lock broke. Always on a Friday, right? Of a holiday weekend? That’s when the kid comes down with a fever (though generally they wait until the doctor’s office is closed), the stove/air conditioner/hot water heater goes out, that kind of thing. All things you want fixed NOW, and you will have to wait until Monday. I’ve heard that what duct tape doesn’t fix, WD-40 will, I tried oiling the dead bolt. No help. (The issue was that the dead bolt would only come out about 1/5 of the way, not the full extended way.) So I took the door knob thing apart (two little screws were all that was needed), figured out what was wrong, then went to look in my ‘fix everything around the house’ book that my Grandmother gave us years ago. No help at all. None. So I took the pieces to my local Ace hardware store, hoping that they could either tell me how to fix it, or sell me a replacement. Nope. However, at 4:40 in the afternoon, they gave me a recommendation to a local locksmith. Across town. So I called them and asked them if they could maybe stay open until I got there. They helpfully said yes. Across town I sped, thankfully against the afternoon traffic. I got there at 4:55, before they even had to stay late. The locksmith took one look and said, “Nope, can’t fix it. The part that’s broken, they don’t sell just that part.” So we looked at the several options. One was $15, but very temporary. One was $300, and required us installing the new door stuff ourselves. The fact that I call it ‘door stuff’ should inform you about how good I am at this stuff. Ted is better at it than I am, but he’s not a handyman, he’s an academic. The third option was to pick a different brand of hardware (aka, door stuff), which would be cheaper on the parts, but would mean drilling and painting our stupid door. Blech. So here I am, it’s 5:05 on Friday of a three-day weekend, and I’m frustrated. Finally, the locksmith said, “There’s another option. I can remove the broken part, which isn’t necessary. The broken part, being broken, is getting in the way of the rest of the mechanism. It will certainly get you through the weekend, and it may even work long term.” OK, I’m in. Why couldn’t he have suggested this to begin with, I wondered. However, all I said was, “How much?” Free. I love that price. I said no, he should be paid for his time and expertise, and he said no. So he took out the broken part (which required some expertise to do), and I took it home and put it back together. The door knob is looser, doesn’t fit just the same anymore, but it works. It works well, locks properly, and was free. So I went on FB and yelp and gave full props to the locksmith, hoping maybe I could pay them back in some way. If the solution falls apart and it turns out that we need something more, they’ve earned my business and I’ll go back to get a long term solution.
This morning, Maya had a job working for one of her teachers (who has a successful side business, Pinot Days, very wine related), so while she went and took care of that, Ted and I went and ran errands. We went and picked up the badges earned by Maya’s Girl Scout troop, then to breakfast at a place we haven’t been to before. It was tasty. It was a little expensive for a semi-fast food breakfast place, but the quality of the food was good. We liked it. Then we went to the farmers’ market and got the essentials…strawberries, nectarines, and eggs. We ran a few more errands, then came home, and I took a delicious nap. Saturdays can be lovely indeed.
The other day I went to the video store…we still have a video store we love to try to keep open. I picked up a DVD, ‘Labor Day’, with Kate Winslet and Josh Brolin. For some reason, I knew nothing about the film, and thought it might be a romantic comedy. It wasn’t. It was closer to a love story. Josh Brolin is an escaped convict, convicted of murdering his wife and child, who forces his way into the home of Kate Winslet and her young teen son. He’s camping out for a few days. The pace is slow, the acting superb, the story not quite as dramatic as you might want, but at the same time, because of that, it seems more real. We really liked it a lot.
I’m reading the new ‘David Sedaris’ book, borrowed from our library. I like it a lot, though I can’t plow through it as quickly as needed for the online rental. We’ll see how I do, if I finish in time.
In other news, I tried a new quinoa recipe. YUM. So good. I’ll post it here soon. It had pickled onions, nectarines, and arugula. Really good.
Enjoy your weekend.
Last night was the Senior Ball for Maya and her classmates. The ball was held in San Francisco, at the new Exploratorium (which Ted and I have not yet seen). They started out with pictures in a local park, then moved on to dinner, then a limo ride into San Francisco for the dance. Home again, then to an after party/sleepover at a friend’s house. She drug herself in at about 6:30 this morning, and as of this writing, is still asleep.
I remember my Senior Prom well, what a good time I had, and how nostalgic I started feeling for my classmates, and how we were on the verge of going on into the world and our many separate ways.
I mentioned something about the dance to the checker at Safeway, because I was getting cash back for her share of the limo ride. The checker said that when she tallied up the price of her daughter’s senior ball, it was about $1,000. I was horrified. And very thankful for my daughter, who wore her cousin’s dress, shoes from last year, carried her aunt’s clutch. She did her own makeup, and I did her hair. So we paid for limo, restaurant, earrings, the ball, and a manicure/pedicure. They didn’t do official photos, as they all gather at the park for photos. I’m not sure exactly how much the total would come up to, but it was definitely around $200.
Her date is an aspiring photographer, and actually took her senior photos for her last summer. He had a fabulous camera set up. I’m looking forward to seeing the pictures he took of the group.
Ted put together a slideshow of photos from his phone. Go check it out on his blog. Gorgeous!
(Jesus the Homeless, by Timothy Schmalz)
Last Saturday morning found Maya and me (and her friend) in San Francisco, handing out meals to homeless people. We had done this once before, when she was in 7th or 8th grade. In that instance, it was for a class, Teens Around the World, in which they learned about kids in other cultures. A group of 10 or 15 kids, the teacher, and several parents went into the city and handed out bag lunches, which the student had assembled the day before in class. It was kind of an amazing experience, and I think it helped Maya to overcome her fear of homeless people.
Back when she was 5 or so, we were in the city for the day, and walking around Union Square. There was a very angry, confused, smelly, and LOUD homeless man, who was yelling profanities at people as they passed by. He was scary. From then on, Maya said she didn’t like San Francisco and didn’t want to go into the city. As time went on, she amended that to say she didn’t like downtown, but the park and some of the outer neighborhoods were OK. Finally, as she got older and had more good experiences in the city, she finally overcame her dislike of downtown, though it took engagement and interaction with homeless people in 7th grade to cure her of her fear. It helped her to humanize them and realize that they are people, just like everyone else.
So for her senior project in English class, she had to write a paper, work with a mentor, have a practical aspect, and give a presentation. For the paper, she worked with her mentor, who is a journalist at the San Francisco Chronicle who focuses on homelessness. The practical part was giving away sandwiches. So she recruited some students from her Human Rights Club at school to assemble lunches, and then she and one other girl went to Civic Center and started handing them out. Again, it was really a rewarding experience. Taking the time to stop and look at, talk to, the homeless amongst us not only reminded us of their humanity, but of course of our own as well. Similar to volunteering at a soup kitchen or delivering Meals on Wheels, I think that when you do these things, do just a little bit to lighten the load of someone in need, you get more than you give. Maya told me that not many of the kids in the club could come that day, but they were inspired by assembling the meals, and they may try to organize a bigger group and go in again. I hope they do.
Isn’t this a pretty cake? Gah, it’s sideways. I’ve decided to ignore that for now. I love the little brown branches, and the cherry blossoms. I’m afraid to say that the butter cream frosting was just too sweet. Should have tried for a cream cheese frosting, I think. The cake itself was chocolate with a fudge chocolate filling. It was very nice, except perhaps for the too sweet frosting.
Maya and her cake. My darling BFF sent her a tiara for her birthday, an appropriate gift indeed. She wore it all day.
It’s hard to believe that my baby is 18 already. Our little row in the condo complex is full of young couples with young children, and when I see them, it takes me back to when Maya was so little and young. Of course, there’s something about a child’s birthday that takes one back to when your baby was born. I remember when Maya was a toddler, or a pre-schooler, doing all of the cute things that our neighbors’ children are doing. I did love that time. One of the wonderful things about children, though, is that (contrary to popular culture), every age is wonderful if you’re lucky. Maya has been a joy from the moment she was born (aside from those many horrid hours of colic when she was a baby), and we’ve enjoyed every stage she’s gone through since then.
Happy (belated) birthday, my darling girl. You are my dream come true.
I’ve been off almost all week. Tuesday I thought it was Wednesday, Wednesday I thought it was Thursday, and Thursday I thought it was Friday. But finally, Friday is here. Yay Friday! This will be a busy weekend for us, because…
Tomorrow is Maya’s birthday! She turns 18, which is INSANE. I cannot believe my baby will legally be an adult. She can gamble, see R rated movies, whatever she wants to do. Every year I find myself reminiscing about those early days…so 18 years ago today, I was going into the hospital. I spent the night, and was induced in the morning. Gross, but effective. OK, gross is not the right word. The right word is pain inducing, which is, I guess, the entire point. So 18 years ago, the whole thing was starting to hit me, that I was going to have to go through this, that I was going to have to get my baby safely out of my body. Terrifying.
So tonight is her birthday party with her school friends. They’re going to dinner without an adult to accompany them. Symbolic I guess. I hope they have a great time.
Tomorrow will be the family party. Maya loves Ted’s lamb curry, so we’re having lamb curry, chickpea curry, curried pumpkin, roti (aka, naan), rice, and appetizers. It will be a lot of fun, as always.
Yesterday was Meals-on-Wheels. One of the couples on my route has a big bush out front, with lovely birds of paradise. They let me cut some blooms to decorate the house for Maya’s birthday party. I love the vibrant orange, with the hint of purple. I was thinking I would buy some irises to put with it, and how that might look nice. Guess what? Maya came home from school with a bouquet of irises. She has NEVER come home with flowers for no reason before. Synchronicity! They’re lovely.
Before the flowers, yesterday was kind of a crummy day. I can’t point to anything specific…just kind of work wasn’t going great, I was tired, I don’t know. But then Ted’s mom called and said, “I have some crab for you, still alive it’s so fresh”, and she appeared with crab. YUM. We had delicious crab with ciabatta bread, chardonnay, and salad for dinner. I got flowers from my MoW folks, and then from Maya. I had two things I wanted to get done for work before the end of the day, things that have been hanging over me and bugging me. I am taking next week off from work, and I wanted to get things done before going. Happily enough, it worked, I got the chores done, and now they are off of my plate before my week off. Right when I was getting ready to put dinner together (very quick, as I had already cooked and chilled the crab), Maya said she was going to go for a walk. After she left, I considered sitting down and having a glass of wine and reading my book. Then I thought, “No, I’m going for a walk too.” So I did, which felt good and took away that tired feeling. So the day started out kind of bleh, and came out really nice.
What else…well, Maya has been accepted into 4 good colleges. She didn’t get into one (very competitive) school, and is wait listed at another. I’m SO proud of her. She has worked so hard on all of this, with her AP classes and volunteer work and so on, and now it has paid off. The frustrating part is that, so far, there isn’t enough financial aid coming in, so she may end up going to a community college for the first two years. I was fine with that for me, and Ted was fine with that for him, but neither of us were so focused or hard working as she is. We SO wish that we could afford to send her to a 4-year right out the door. There’s still a chance…she has applied for a couple of scholarships, we haven’t gotten financial aid offers from 2 schools, what if she lives at home, etc. Chances are it will be community college, and if that’s the case, she will do well there. But we’re holding out hope still for a 4-year to work out in the next month.
I took next week off, because I haven’t really had any time off since December, and I like to take a couple off weeks off every year. OK, more than a couple. A few. This will be spring break for Maya. She is taking an art class, and one thing they have to do is to go to either a museum or a gallery, and report on a work of art. The SF Legion of Honor has an exhibit starting today, Impressionism from the National Gallery of Art. It’s stupid expensive, but I’d like to see it anyway. The first Tuesday of the month is free (not for this exhibit, but at least the general museum admission), so I’d like to go do this on Tuesday. I’m not sure what else we’ll do…maybe go to the ocean, though it’s colder now than it was in February. Not cold, but colder. It’s been raining off and on over the last week, which is delicious and lovely. Not really enough to end the drought, by any means, but every bit helps.
Speaking of which, I described the crummy showers we’re taking, right? It has paid off. Governor Brown asked that everyone cut their water use by 20%. We already have low flow toilets and a high efficiency front load washing machine, and we don’t have a lawn or any trees, so that’s kind of all we can do. We received our first bill since cutting back the other day, and our water use has been cut by 21%. Yay us!
I’ve been reading about this drought, and how difficult it is going to be on farmers. California has really taken advantage of the demand for almonds, and a lot of fields that used to grow other produce now have almond orchards and grape vines. All very well and good when there’s enough water, but one thing about orchards and vineyards is that you can’t leave the fields fallow in dry years. The trees take years to grow and become productive. With tomatoes or lettuce or whatever, you can leave the field fallow and not grow anything during a drought. But with trees and vines, they need water, no matter what. So look for your California products to get pricey this summer and so on. Careers are falling apart, people are losing their farms, trees are dying, cattle are dying. It’s ugly. So yeah, I’m enjoying the rain, and I wish that it could somehow be enough to solve a few problems.
Lastly, on a lighter note, did anyone watch ‘True Detectives’ on HBO? We binge watched after the season ended. I really liked it a lot. Ted was a little disappointed by the finale, but I liked it. Really interesting storytelling, really good acting, all of that.